to think that people should have moved so I could get on the bus with a pram, grrrrr

[HappyNewYearFeet06]

Sorry to rant but it annoyed me and I let them know.

The bus turned up and I had been waiting patiently. However the bus stopped further down from where it usually does so people who had only just turned up at the bus stop got on before me. Anyway, I showed my ticket and got on but there were people sitting in the 2 spaces that are there for wheelchair/prams. There were plenty of seats nearer to the back of the bus but they wouldn't budge. The driver asked if I could fold the pram. I couldn't, its huge and I had baby and shopping too so it would have been impossible unless I had suddenly sprouted 20 arms!.

The driver and another gentleman suggested people move but they just ignored them. So I ranted out loud about rude people and had to get off of the bus again. I had to get a taxi home as another bus is an age away. The taxi cost £8.20 and I already had bought a return for the bus.

Grrrr, sorry gabbled on but it annoyed me.

AIBU to be annoyed?? Should I send a ranting letter to the bus company or the local newspaper ranting about laxy arsed people that can't move to the back of the bus. (Sorry, hot and bothered!)

Herbie - it's not like your dh can put you in a sling either, is it?!

However, i think the issue further down was the rudeness of the carer of the wheelchair user, who was very rude (according to the poster further down). I would be more than happy to fold my buggy if a wheelchair user got on the bus, but i would be happy about being sworn at, or being pushed in front of in a queue!

Seems to me that all that is needed is a little consideration from all concerned, and public transport would be much more pleasant!

I don't think YABU, but when my dd's were younger I had a small folding buggy and always took a rucksack out with me for a bit of shopping.

I don't think YABU, but when my dd's were younger I had a small folding buggy and always took a rucksack out with me for a bit of shopping.

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Ooppp, didn't realise I had caused such a debate.

If there wasn't any room on the bus then it would have been fair enough for me to just wait for another, however there were plenty of seats for the people to move to so I could use the space provided. The buses in questin have spacefor onewheelchair and 2 peams or 3 prams so aren't lacking in space tbh.

Similarly if a wheelchair user had needed to get on I would have given them priority.

Its not the worlds smallest pram plus I had a basket full of shopping plus dd who was falling asleep.

I should have stood my ground as hubby said and everyone else! My friend last night told me I was weak, lol! Thanks!!

The bus driver should have made people who could, move down to the back of the bus to make room for your pram.
I have to say though, I'm with the Dullwitch, joash and Kslatts to some extent on this - round where we live we do have lots of people with BIG buggies who barge their way on to the bus with the expectation that they can block the exit and prevent people getting to the back of the bus. Lots of the nippers are wide awake and aged at least two...
People with buggies can be as rude as any other bus user.
I don't drive and have always used buses with buggies and my dcs. I think if this is your situation you have to make sure yours is compact enough to fit on the buses locally, and get a folding one when your child is older.

VictorianSqualor on Tue 10-Jun-08 17:23:01
"TheDullWitch, how the hell do you collapse a buggy/pram and hold the baby????"

I used to do this all the time. You plonk the baby in the arms of the driver. If I arrived at the bus stop before the bus got there I'd lie her down on my coat on the pavement and collapse the buggy. I wouldn't keep somebody in a wheelchair, or an extra Mum with a buggy, from getting on the bus if there was something I could do to help them. But maybe I was just too soft.
Though then again- what goes around comes around: now it's me with the wheelchair and (I have to say) lots of lovely helpful Mums moving their buggies to make room for us.

A sling is also a good idea.

In the old days (ie when i had ds1) drivers would help you fold and unfold buggies, now they can't.

If anyone looking for a good buggy for newborns and easy to fold, xan recommend the Graco mojo btw.

I think in most cases a wheelchair user gets priority but it's a hard person who will take a place needed by a brand new baby who needs to get home.

Of curse there wouldn't be much of a problem if peolpe coulfd just be kind to each other- shift their butts when needed, help mums by folding buggies / holding shopping, etc. Never will (and never want to) understand why that's so complex for people to understand.

Absolutely agree Peachy.

I'll never forget (in the dim and distant years before i had ds) when i was moving house, and had no car, so had bags and boxes loaded on me whilst getting the bus from town. The only people who offered to help were a couple of mums with babies in buggies! I was pathetically grateful and one of them said, "Not to worry, i know what it's like to struggle!!"

Having said that - I don't think there's ever been a time when i've been out and about with ds in the buggy in London and people haven't helped me get down the stairs! Not TFL staff, mind - they're not allowed to help because of Health and Safety - but usually young (often attractive ) men! Tis buses where the worst behaviour is usually found IME!

Have often thought sling would be easier than my double buggy on buses/tubes BUT with bad back, have not felt willing to try one of those double slings for twins. Luckily, on the rare occasions I've braved public transport, everyone has been incredibly helpful.

Am a bit shocked how people could think they and a buggy/pram should take priority over a wheelchair user tbh.

I'm a bit wary about stairs tbh after someone dropped ds3's buggy (luckily I was holding the other side but still an almighty crash)- but I really thnk that if us mothers made an effort to help each other out then it would all get so easier, and kids learn by watching their Mum's don't they? I'd be so disappointed if the ds's didn't offer to help someone struggling with either a wheelchair or buggy when they ahd the chance; I wouldn't tolerate them not moving, either (and they're registered diosabled, so really it is a cse of working out the priorities at the time rather than keeping some rules in your head).

Hmm, this is a tricky one. To the op, YANBU in your post imo.

For some posters, it's no use going on about the "old days" when women had to fold down the buggy, which were alot bigger and bolkier than most today, while holding the baby. Buses have changed a hell of a lot since then and they are now designed so parents can access the bus without having to fold the buggy down 9/10 times. So if there are other seats available, people (including oaps) should use those first and keep the area for buggies and wheelchairs free. It's just good manners and common sense. For those who do take up the fold down seats and won't budge, some do it because they are lazy and others out of protest because "in the old days" they had to fold their buggy down etc. Either way it's very sad. Times have changed and buses are designed to be buggy friendly now.

On the other hand, if my main transport was the bus, when selecting a buggy to buy, i would choose one that i could fold down easily with dc on my arm. Sometimes the bus is full and so i would want to be prepared for those times.

As for the posts about the person in the wheelchair further down pushing in, that was a twattish thing to do. You do get disabled people who are rude and twats just like you do regualar people. The difference is people tip toe around them because they have a disabilty. There is no need to be rude or nasty to somebody whether you have a disabilty or not and had the wheelchair user said to the woman with the pushchair, do you mind if i push in etc, she would have probably quite happily let that person go ahead of her. It's good that the people in the que didn't accept the rude behaviour and actually stood up and said something for a change.

bellababy- what about trying a good sling (I have scar tissue on my spine and find a close baby carrier good) and a single folding buggy? my older 2 are very close (but not twins- 13 months difference) and as I was bus reliant then, it worked a treat

Also..... if epoples buses are that regularly packed, why not take up the idea of more buses with MP and bus company? if there's a demand...

UD, you're right about it being surprising who offers to help you.
I caught the train to reading the other week, on the way there I had a gentleman absolutely covered in tattoos who had been f'ing and blinding about his probation and the fact that he had to get the train to court see me in the queue about to get on and stop people to help me lift it (there were two steep steps onto the train).
Then getting off there I was right at the front of the queue (we had had to stand by the doors as the buggy would have blocked the gangway so I sat down ad fed DS leaving the buggy in by the door then went back to the buggy with him after feeding), anyway a lady with tons of bags and her mother asked me if I wanted help, I said yes please and moved the buggy so she could get off first, her mother took my 3yr old hand so he could get off, and as I waited the 10 seconds it took for the lady to put her bags down tons of people pushed in front of me. DS1 was panicking with the lady's mother and no-one moved out of the way until her husband realised what was happening and stood in the way of everyone else saying 'we're trying to get this woman and her buggy off'.
They had tons of luggage and an elderly lady between them, everyone else had nothing.
I was so tempted to burp DS2 enough that he vomited down some one's suit

VS that's awful. I hate society today, it's all me me me and no one ever helps anyone anymore or has any patience!

I try to see the nice people that helped me as a positive rather than the attitude of others.
I think I said to the lady I was meeting that some really nice people helped me.

Sorry went away

in reply to earlier lady in wheelchair can wait for next bus just like I have to if it's full it's called equality (=treating people equally)
Her wheelchair gived her no more right to travel on the bus than me and my dcs (fwiw if I'm with one/two of course I'll fold all 3 it's just not safe)

I often travel with 3 small children so can't restrain them all/hold on to them all with erratic driving/random breaking

coosing to have children doesn't wash, it's former children driving the bus/building the wheelchair etc etc.

Agree with dullwitch. We didn't have accessible buses when my lot were little and I, and all other Mums managed fine. Pushing straight on to a bus with a pushchair is nice, but it's not a right. And why on earth would anyone use a carseat on a chassis when they weren't using the car??

It does wash in this area 1dilemma As it should. Your not-quite-an-argument about everyone having been a child at one point is quite pathetic to be fair. Children are a choice: you have sex, you get pregnant and you choose whether or not to keep the pregnancy. Disability is not a choice. I know of nobody who decided to refuse treatment that could reverse their predicament.

If you were on a bus, taking up the wheelchair space you would be told to shift. buses are adapted for wheelchairs, prams and pushchairs are permitted to use them if none are present Plus, if you have a big pram, a fair few drivers refuse to allow you on the bus. Conditions of carriage for the local firms mean that if the pushchair cannot be folded easily, or the passenger is unwilling to fold it the driver is well within his or her rights to refuse carriage. The number of small children you have with you and the amount of shopping you have done would be irrelevant to the conversation as well.

Because the car seat adaption is the bit for up to six months old

Also it's much easier if you do need to fold a buggy to sit the car seat+baby on the floor and collapse the chassis.

I really can't see why people are roling out the 'I don't have buggy friendly buses' 'we didn't have those buses years ago' lines.
The point is it was a buggy friendly bus, it did have a space for the buggy, and people who could have moved a couple of seats back stopped the OP from being able to use the 'buggy friendly' space.

FWIW, I get the bus daily, and rarely have to worry about not getting a space, and if I have the buggy, rather than the sling which I use some days, and I can't get on with it I'll happily collapse it.

Though it's quite hard and bloody annoying I don't find it a real problem, but if all someone had to do was move a seat for me so I could not collapse it then I'd think it was only fair, but then I'd do the same for them, perhaps I'm too nice and expect others to have the same consideration, I really should remember most people are arseholes and only out for themselves

not read the thread

YANBU to be annoyed. But maybe politely requesting that they move would have been more effective than ranting about rude people?

Sometimes people can be extraordinarily thick and not realise how obstructive they are being.

Buses are not meant to be 'buggy friendly' they are 'wheelchair friendly'. As for 'harking back to the good old days' the point trying to be made was that all it takes is a little sensible planning on the part of the person with the buggy instead of assuming that there will be space on the bus. It is sad that there are many people in todays society who assume that their 'rights' over-ride anyone elses, rather than using basic common courtesy - those people who wouldn't move being a good example.

It does remind me of a similar situation a few years ago where a young woman with the buggy became very abusive to another who wasn't much older than her - when she wouldn't move. She ranted and raved for about five minutes without allowing the other woman to get a word in. When she had finished, the seated woman calmly stood, offered the woman her seat and remained standing. The driver asked her to move down the bus to sit somewhere else. She lifted her trouser leg, showing her prosthetic leg and explained that she couldn't sit anywhere else as she couldn't bend the leg enough to fit into the limited space behind another seat.