Is this unseasonably rude?

[Fuzzymuddle33]

Long standing arrangement for a meal at in laws

Tradition that we drive over (45 mins or so) for a take away. It’s usually an easy and gentle catch up.

This year, they’re coming to us Christmas Day anyway but we do exchange presents this pre Christmas weekend because of DH’s aunt and uncle being present.

This year, the weekend coincides with us having my parent’s dog. In laws were well aware of this and after some initial disgruntlement were fine with this.

Late Last night we get messages to say that the dog isn’t welcome, leaving us in a difficult position.

We have our own dog (who was still welcome) but a second dog was considered too much.

I think this is really poor form the night before the occasion.

It was too late for us to make plans for the ‘second’ dog so DH and kids have gone without me.

That’s fine, I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s weekend but just think it’s rude to change the dog rule so close to the event.

I haven’t yet had an apology and fear they’ll think I’m the unreasonable one to not go and just leave the dog with someone/anyone.

@Fuzzymuddle33 it tells you everything about them, that they would exclude you at the last moment.

I am somewhat surprised that your husband took the children willingly, without you though, tbh.

They have met the dog maybe 15 times, my parents and they meet up with us. BIrthdays, Christmas etc.

The only bit I object to is the shortness of the notice and the fact that this then excluded me from a a family do.

They love dogs, the only issue was ‘space’ but a kitchen and conservatory sat unused. DH has said that there was plenty of space but that they had just got stressed the night before.

I don’t propose to fall out with them. I just think it’s poor form. I would never effectively de-invite someone (me!) the night before.

I don’t think it’s ok to say at last minute, no. However I’d have left the dog alone, said no worries we can only stay 3 hours then, and just went for the meal, exchanged gifts and left.

I don’t think it did exclude you, and it still doesn’t, you can easily drive over, or all of you could, stayed three hours and left. It didn’t need to be 10 hours, or your family could have went for ten and you popped over for 3.