To not want to use DH's inheritance?

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

Hi, I know this is a first world dilemma and we are in a very fortunate position.

DH is 63, work pension kicks in in just under 2 years time. He is 5 years older than me. For a while he's been suggesting that, when he retires, I should drop to PT or even give up work altogether. I've resisted this idea. My work pension doesn't kick in until I'm at state pension age, so 67 for me. I was thinking that maybe I'd go PT for the last 5 years of my working life.

However, two things have now happened. DH's mum died a couple of months ago, and my team at work are undergoing a consultation which will result in 50% of us being made redundant.

DH will inherit all his Mum's savings plus half the value of her house. It's just all been valued for Probate and he will inherit around £300k, maybe slightly more if house sells at more than expected

DH is talking again about me giving up work as, once the house sells, we will have a nest egg, but I'm really worried that (a) there are other things we could use the money for and (b) our standard of living will be much worse. DH thinks we will have much better quality of life as we won't have the stress/pressure of working.

I had thought that we could use some of the inheritance money to give to the DC for house deposits - they are in their late 20s and DS1 Iin particular is very unlikely to ever earn enough for a deposit. If we do that, what's left won't be enough to replace my salary for more than a few years.

So, AIBU to think that it would be better to keep on working - even if I'm made redundant I look for another FT job at a similar salary? Or should I be grateful that we will have some savings behind us, tighten our belts and - if I'm made redundant - accept that my career is over much sooner than anticipated?

When I saw redundancy coming over the horizon, I maximised my pension contributions for the remaining months. This is free of tax and NI. It might be your last chance to beef up the pension, and in some cases, there is enough redundancy money to push you into a higher tax bracket.

I was lucky enough to get a retention bonus as well as a reward for not jumping ship before it hit the iceberg.

I realise that other people may be less (or more) lucky.

Personally I would take the redundancy package if offered then maybe look at a part time job of 2-3 days a week. This way you get bestvof both worlds. Thats assuming youve been at your place of work a decent amount of time to get a good redundanxy payout!

My company did this and ended up having to rehire some on part time contracts as they were short staffed. 😆

We are in a similar position but for me its about how much you want to work and to feel valuable. After a career i've moved to a part time minimum salary job, other half has taken flexible retirement and works half the week. We could fully retire but have decided for now (me 56, him 62) we are going to continue working for now. We both have the same days off each week together. I'm not ready to not work iyswim. At the moment we feel we have the best of both worlds.

Husband had an inheritance of roughly the same amount. We gave each of our sons 10% of the inheritance because his side of the family never left anything to the grandchildren.

The same year, my Mother gave each of them 20K as a birthday present and told them to enjoy it! (let's leave it at that was a huge surprize because she always favoured my brother's son). Both put the inheritance as a house downpayment. The money from my Mum was used to purchase gawd knows what (well, one son put it in his buy a new truck pot).

I worked until one month before my 66th birthday. Husband had been retired for 11 years at that point. I worked mainly for the benefits (ie medical, dental, travel insurance)

I was glad I left under my own terms.

One other way to look at this would be to hunt around for a new role now. If you find something that suits you better (more pay or better hours or more fun etc) then if you are made redundant, you can bank the payment and take up the new role and see how you go.

@AnnaQuayInTheUk I get the feeling this is not about money for your DH but that he wants you as a companion. He's worried he will be at a loose end when he's not working. If he doesn't need to retire at 65 he could keep going a bit longer and so could you. Not everyone wants to retire at 65 anyway.

I'd not be so pessimistic about your health in your late 60s because some of that is under your control - keeping up a healthy lifestyle being mainly what you both need to do.

How much would you give your children for a deposit?

I think that needs to be your starting point, as well as working out how you might live on one income (yours) as well as savings.

You should also seriously think about getting an independent chartered financial advisor.

Woukd your hubby be ok to be on his own for nex5 9 years whilst you continue working? Be nice to spend time together. Maybe part time is the answer.

it really isn’t just you to think about… when your husband is retired he obviously wants your company. The alternative is lots of time on his own. This is time you will not get back. I worked on 7 months part time after my husband retired purely because I wasn’t ready to give up altogether. But then I was. And I was a couple of years off state pension age but I took my works pension and a small private one. Money wise it worked out fine. You will be able to invest some of the inheritance for a small boost but indeed yes very definitely help your DC now rather than waiting.

I agree with this and I say that as someone who has inherited from both parents whilst in my 30s because neither reached retirement age.

I wish they’d had the chance to retire early and enjoy their lives.

What is the point of retiring if to do so you have to spend all your savings on day to day living? Retirement can be very boring (eg if no GC) and goes on for a very long time (over 30 years for each of my parents for example), you need the savings for holidays and entertainment - and to help DC if necessary.

There are 3 things I'd recommend you do before deciding

• enquire about early retirement and see how much you'll get.
• wait until you know ref redundancy - work out how much you might get - the formula should be in your T&cs/HR policies

-sit with DH and talk money - how much you earn together - your bills, how they will be paid - how much you each have for your own money

You can then see if there is enough £ for you not to work.

I can honestly say it is very hard to find anyone who will take over 50's on in a permanent capacity (certainly in my field), so getting another job might be more difficult than you think. Interim contracting might be an option though.

Personally, I'd look to reduce my hours ASAP so you can spend quality time with your DH. Yes it's good to help our kids, but like us, they can sort themselves out. And get your kitchen done!!!

I retired at 57, like you I’d always worked, but I had the opportunity to go and live aboard for four years. I was lucky that I had savings to live on until my pension Kicked in. Boy am I pleased I did. Not only did I really enjoy it but since the age of around 62 my health has declined massively. I could now, at 66 not do many of the things I was able to. If you can afford it, go for it. None of us know what’s around the corner. Travel with your husband and enjoy life. Your kids will find their own way. Worse case scenario they will inherit from you and dh and buy property then.

As with most things in life, you should probably go with your gut. You are clearly not yet wanting to retire or ready to retire. Your husband chose to marry someone five years younger than him and should have realised that would mean you retiring later than he might choose.

Women are not support animals for men who are worried they won't be able to fill their time. He has chosen to go part-time already. If he is worried about being bored, there is nothing to stop him continuing part-time until you are ready to retire. Or he can retire as planned and spend some time making himself a life that works for him during retirement, and you can join him when you are ready. In many ways, that would be a good thing because it would prevent him depending on you to do all the work of creating that life for both of you, which is how many men tend to behave.

Your career has already taken a hit as a result of raising your family. This is your time, not his. It doesn't sound as though you want to give up work, so don't!

I took far more time out than most for raising our children. There were several reasons that made that essential and the right decision for us. But once the children were established, including the most vulnerable one, I was able to re-prioritise my career. In fact, I changed career entirely, starting at the bottom and working up because that was something I had always wanted to do.

My husband fully supported that because he recognised what I had given up as a result of the joint decisions we had been forced to make due to unforeseen circumstances. His perspective was that I should do anything we could afford for me to do as far as retraining etc. And that if I needed us to move or change our lifestyle to accommodate this new part of my life, he was fully on board because it was my turn.

We are both in the position now that we love the jobs we do and will probably never fully retire from them. In your position, I would think very carefully about what you want, not just about what your husband wants.

"Your husband chose to marry someone five years younger than him and should have realised that would mean you retiring later than he might choose."

Until recently, UK women got a pension 5 years younger than UK men.

I absolutely agree with you, it’s ridiculous to say that 300k would not last nine years. Not only could you take £33k the first year and invest the rest, but in year two you could take the £33k + interest, at 4.5% that would be 12k less tax. The £33k would be free of tax so that’s a good ‘salary’, equivalent to around £42k gross. There’s a lot of people who spout rubbish on this site!

This is wrong. You can only put in £60,000 per tax year less the value of the accrual in your current pension scheme. You can also carry forward up to 3 previous years’ allowance which total £220,000 including this year (the first of the 3 years was £40,000 not £60,000) if you haven’t used your allowance each year, but again need to deduct the value of accrual in your current scheme.

If you want to go down this route OP, please get proper financial advice rather than listening to unqualified randoms on the internet!

I'd wait and see if you are made redundant or not. If not I'd continue working full time. If made redundant I'd maybe look for a part time job maybe 4 days a week and use redundancy money to top it up. After a year or 2 you could drop back to 3 days a week. Have you asked DH to gift DC a deposit each? If not wait until after he has received the inheritance then ask him. Tell him you'd like the kitchen done.

Absolutely wait and see if work offer you a package to go. If they do take it. Get a proper pensions adviser it seems like something only for rich people but its not. They can look at any pensions schemes open to you, ISAs show how your budget can change over the years. Most retirees have most of their fun years before 75 and your DH is thinking of that. After that the chances are you will have dodgy knees, grandkids to look after or both. Don't jump just yet, but work out what you need to do to be out in 2 years. All the stuff about his money is you trying to cloud the issue. Its irrelevant and an emotional excuse for yoj not to face where you both are. Rather than asking about whose money it is, ask yourself how do you want to spend the next 10 years. If its not with your DH then you have bigger problems than his inheritance.

I think what many people forget is a long retirement isn’t guaranteed.
my brother had a great pension but died at 50 from mnd before he could enjoy it, my sister in law an even better pension died this year at 63 after a stroke . My sister died at 49 .

money is important I do understand that but I would live on baked pots in a one bedrooms flat to get the longest time with my husband.

so my message is if you can afford to retire have a year off then reassess the situation and what you both want .

Retire, enjoy life you could die tomorrow, let your kids look after themselves.

OP if you are in the LGPS and you are made redundant after the age of 55 then you get immediate access to your full unreduced pension. You will get the same amount that you would have received had you retired at your normal retirement age. You ought to have been told this by HR. It's the reason everyone in the LGPS is always desperate to get redundancy once they hit that age!

It's outrageous given that it's tax payers money and that 55 year olds are not old but those are the rules.

I would maybe take a break after redundancy, nice holiday, get some jobs done in your house then look for part time. Also definitely give some money to kids for house deposit

i wouldn’t go part time until the redundancy situation is resolved. It would be pretty galling if the worst happens and you are made redundant, to be then paid on part time hours!
Once that’s all sorted, then make a decision. I’d say dropping a day or 2 for the last few years probably makes sense.

I'd get some financial planning advice and invest the money/ put it into savings for a boost to your pensions. I'd carry on working, at least until I get closer to retirement, because yes I fully understand wanting to be financially independent and I wouldn't worry about your kids yet. Their 20s is still young! However I'd also be looking to see if there was a redundancy payout with your company too... once you have all the deciding factors known, then you can decide

I don’t think it’s that easy to find another job now and when older. I’d wait and see what happens about the redundancy. You don’t seem to want to give up work