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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you wish you could warn younger you about?

118 replies

OneUmberJoker · 12/12/2025 17:42

Inheritance tax

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 13/12/2025 00:23

Yes, you’re bisexual. Kiss her.

Inter dental brushes - do it.

InterestedDad37 · 13/12/2025 00:36

Don't get into debt.
Don't negate your own needs so much.
Don't do drugs.
Don't waste so much time with someone who has clearly stopped loving and respecting you
Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.

Chocolatecoveredshitpig · 13/12/2025 00:51

Get some bloody qualifications.
Do not marry the first man who asks you in your early 20’s because your self esteem is so low you think that the penniless musician with the obvious alcohol problem is the absolute best you’re going to get.

LancashireButterPie · 13/12/2025 00:55

Don't trust that your friend will stay with you on a night out and definitely don't then let the plausible stranger walk you home in a foreign country.

Just don't.

LancashireButterPie · 13/12/2025 01:02

Also don't waste 35 years slogging away in the NHS, working ever harder for less money and ruining your own health in the process.
Go to hairdressing college instead.

Caerulea · 13/12/2025 01:55

ChristmasinBrighton · 12/12/2025 18:15

Men

Men.

stormwatcher · 13/12/2025 02:38

Not to marry my future husband

Giraffehaver · 13/12/2025 02:41

Don't be manipulated by nefarious relatives. There is such a thing as being too kind

Horrorscope · 13/12/2025 05:25

Men. Learn quickly what a bad man is and get rid quickly when he shows up. But also learn what a good man is - and hold onto him.

Kneenightmare · 13/12/2025 08:02

I’m really sad about all the comments about men, I’m sorry some of you have had a tough time. Mine would be to sort out my diet and exercise and find a way to eat normally and keep the weight off. I can’t imagine the last 20 years if I’d been happy with my weight.

LakieLady · 13/12/2025 08:35

Don't get married if you already own your home.

I had to give my ex 47.5% of the equity in my house after a 10-year marriage. The equity had been built up over 15 years prior to us marrying.

WinterFreezingCold · 13/12/2025 08:39

The best decisions you make for yourself are the hardest ones, where you are never certain about outcom -marriage, job, moving house. Uncertainty is ok
Trust your gut, not opinion of others.

glendabrownlow · 13/12/2025 08:41

Your family are really awful people, don't waste a lot of time on them. Ignore them and be free.

Screamingabdabz · 13/12/2025 08:50

Muffsies · 12/12/2025 19:02

Sometimes when you're nice to a man he will deliberately misconstrue it as a "come-on" and behave like an utter creep towards you, then you're left shocked and feeling guilty like it was your fault for "encoraging him".. but yet you are always being told to be nice and smile, etc.

Fuck that. I wish I could go back in time to 14 year old me and warn about that utter bullshit.

My DH has been an amazing husband and father but I’ve still raised my dds to know the nature of men.

Between the two of us - him as an amazing male role model, and me telling them not to stand for male bullshit, they’re now women in the world with such a high bar that I worry I will never have grandchildren! (I’m so proud of them though).

Chocolateismylovelife · 13/12/2025 08:54

Trust your gut.
some of the hardest decisions to make will hurt but are for the best in the long run.

SweetChilliGirl · 13/12/2025 09:04

Travel as much as you can. Particularly to Central Africa and The Middle East while it's easy and safe, relatively so, anyway. Buy a flat in London and rent it out.

Justlostmybagel · 13/12/2025 09:07

Don't get fat as a teenager. You'll lose it all in your late teens/early twenties, but you'll still have the stretch marks and loose skin.

sesquipedalian · 13/12/2025 09:18

Listen to advice, but a don’t be bound by it. Especially if it comes from your mother! And remember that everyone has an agenda.

Sharptonguedwoman · 13/12/2025 09:29

Dealing with money in a different way.

taxguru · 13/12/2025 19:07

@Cel77

Keep a diary. Keeps you grounded , and you'll be pleased to read about all those memories/thoughts years later.

Brilliant advice. I've kept a 5 year diary ever since I was a child, now 60, so I've got a box full of them. I am constantly looking back to remind myself not just what I did on random dates decades ago, but how I felt, etc. They're brilliant to help me draw a line in the sand at various points in my life and help me understand what led me to take certain actions/not take certain actions, which really help me understand myself. Also really interesting to look back to the last 2/3/4/5 years on a daily basis to see what I was doing and how I felt. The only "downer" is getting a new one every 5 years when there's nothing to look back on during the first year, so I keep my previous one on my bedside table too and try to remember to look back.

DH really wishes he'd done the same. He really regrets being unable to "go back in time" to help him remember things from his past. At least he can "dip in" to my diary memories for time we've been together, and he often reads random bits from the years before we got together to gain an insight into what I did and who I was before we met. (Thankfully nothing in there that I'm ashamed of!!).

taxguru · 13/12/2025 19:10

Horrorscope · 13/12/2025 05:25

Men. Learn quickly what a bad man is and get rid quickly when he shows up. But also learn what a good man is - and hold onto him.

Nail on the head in both ways there. A decent man will enhance your life, a bad one can ruin it. The sooner you identify and weed out the dross the better as they'll just drag you down.

HipHopDontYouStop · 13/12/2025 19:10

Please don’t get married. Please focus on a career. Please prioritise yourself in this regard. You matter.

Terrytheweasel · 13/12/2025 19:12

To leave as soon as he laid his hands on me

BitOfAWeirdo · 13/12/2025 19:17

Don't listen to your parents. Choose the GCSE, A levels and hobbies that you actually want to do.

Dump that uni boyfriend who said nasty things about your appearance, friends, clothes, intelligence and hometown. It's called negging and it's something that pathetic, inferior men do.

Don't have sex and fall in love with your married boss. Despite how much you adore him and how much he professes his love. It will take you years to get over him.

SimplyBudgie · 13/12/2025 19:20

Put the chocolate down, tubby.