What do you wish you could warn younger you about?

[OneUmberJoker]

Inheritance tax

Know your self worth and don’t worry what others think.

Sometimes when you're nice to a man he will deliberately misconstrue it as a "come-on" and behave like an utter creep towards you, then you're left shocked and feeling guilty like it was your fault for "encoraging him".. but yet you are always being told to be nice and smile, etc.

Fuck that. I wish I could go back in time to 14 year old me and warn about that utter bullshit.

This

Not wasting time on crap people, whether boyfriends or friends generally. Not ignoring the bright flashing warning signs over "dodgy" people. Having the self confidence to respect myself. I wasted far too much time and headspace on wasters and selfish "takers". Looking back, I should have trusted my instincts and not got involved with several people, but I was naive/stupid enough to give people the benefit of the doubt and every sodding time I did it, it came back to bite me on the bum. My big wish would be warning myself not to ignore my instincts about other people.

Not flossing. The dentist is bloody expensive, and by the time they can fit you in for a filling, you'll probably need root canal.

Don't bother trying at school. The pay gap means it'll be a waste of time and you'll have to stop your career by 30 or you will be cast as a soulless witch for attempting to pursue the career you were told to work towards whilst neglecting your children by leaving them with 'heartless strangers' in wraparound.

Just style your hair nicely and smile.

You think you’re ugly but you’re not. Don’t fall for the slick lines out of the mouths of older men.

Get to Vanessa Whyte's house before Wednesday 23rd July 2025, get her and the two children out of there and away to safety and fill the place with heavily armed cops ready to lift him when he comes back. If I could do one thing, it would be that.

1 Domestic abuse isn't love.

2 It is OK to be single.

3 Therapy, get your shit sorted out so that you recognise no 1 and understand no 2.

This.

Stay single.

Don't cut your hair short on a whim. It will never grow back as long thick and bouncy again.

Men

Don’t buy the project house. It will drive you to a nervous breakdown.

Despite what went on at home, and at school, life will get better (especially when you finally obtain access to your own bank account and a car). You just need to:

Say no to everything, especially family pressure that dictates that you should be in a relationship from 16 onwards (Your confidence has been so battered that you don't even like people, so why would you want someone near you far too often?!) and do your A-Levels, a degree and a 'proper' job which will inevitably culminate in a nervous breakdown. Also, a good credit rating is an advisable thing to have in comparison to not having one at all.

Yes, you're female, but stand up, say no, and stop being a people-pleaser. Don't give in when you're told to be quiet. Also, question why it is fine for the men in the family to sit around while the women run around like they're on fire to keep them happy. You are important.

Be bold and be brave. You'll grow up, change the name that you hate, end up working in the sector that you wanted, and you'll move sufficiently far away for the family pressure not to get to you. Believe me, life is going to be much better!

Men. Dont even bother with them. Save money as much as you possibly can and tell no one.

Wear sunscreen, because blotches and sunspots and worrying scaly patches are a massive PITA

Start a pension in your 20s not your 40s.

Realise earlier than your mother's constant attempts to shame you were a her issue, not a you issue

Look after your teeth better. (So now I tell my kids in the hope they won’t have to spend ££££ on dentistry).

Buy that flat in Hampstead when I first arrived in UK around 2000!

I don’t know, everything I’ve done wrong has helped me … I’d probably get back to the area I started working in (I was tempted to say not to become sahm but I loved it when it worked!)

PMDD, PND, perimenopause!

I'd like to have been more prepared!

Marriage

You can have leave having kids until your 30s without being a failure

Enjoy it! Stop worrying about everything. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Don’t feel pressured into settling down if it’s not right for you, but if it’s what you want go ahead! Make the most of the things you enjoy and don’t worry about people who say you’re too young/old/fat/thin/ugly/beautiful. Live your own life and own it. I honestly would not change a thing, it’s made me into the person I am today!

Your husband is autistic and your children probably will be too. This won’t make you love them any less but knowing it will help you understand them better.