Would it be really sad to buy myself an ‘engagement’ ring?

[Keepingitsimple101]

Been married for 15 years and at the time dh bought me a cheapish white gold diamond ring and we chose some again, cheap wedding bands.

This was fine as it was what we felt that we could afford at the time.

However as time has passed I don’t particularly like either anymore.

I keep seeing people wearing beautiful engagement rings but again, I don’t really want to spend family money on an expensive ring, even though we could, it just feels like too much of extravagance.

Would it be a bit sad to buy myself a cheap silver but sparkly ring to wear on my ring finger?

Buy one! I upgraded my engagement ring without a qualm and DH didn’t feel offended.

DW is on wedding ring no 4!
😂

No 1 is still upstairs, locked away (was her grandmother's, and is high carat gold) - she's too nervous to wear it (and prefers silver normally)
No 2 (hypo-allergenic, specially engraved inside, and blessed in our wedding church on a Christmas morning) got lost
No 3 (Pandora, sparkly, and not overly expensive) was eventually bought to replace no 2, but got too big after some weight loss
No 4 was bought at the weekend in Lovisa - it's very sparkly, but was less than £20!

I'm sure there will be at least 1 more...

Ask DH for an eternity ring for Christmas instead? Doesn’t have to be expensive.
Personally I don’t think engagement or wedding rings can or should be replaced - they are the rings you were given when you got engaged and married and you can’t replace that.
Other rings can be worn too or instead though of course but if you buy a new ring it won’t be your engagement ring it will just be a ring

I bought myself a moissanite 5 stone ring recently. We also married young, but i am scared of wearing £1000s of diamonds every day. So i have a lovely shiny ring now for the rare occasions I remember to put it on.

Dh bought me a beautiful eternity ring at 10 years and I’m dropping hints about our 25th anniversary in 2028 that I’d love an engagement style ring for my right hand. I don’t want to replace the actual engagement ring due to sentimental reasons but we were very young and bought what was reasonable at the time. I don’t tend to bit myself jewellery as dh loves doing that, but with my guidance. If he didn’t, I’d buy it myself. In reality it comes from joint money anyway.

I didnt have an engagement ring so used some jewellery that I inherited from my DM to have anew ring set made. I love wearing them.

I have cheap silver sparkly wedding and engagement rings, because I had to have my real ones cut off after a bout of auto immune inflammation. Replaced with cheapies in case it happens again. I quite like the glitzy sparkliness of the cheap ones tbh!

The replacement engagement ring is an eternity ring, @Keepingitsimple101 .
They became a thing when people who had started life in fairly modest circumstances became rich later on.

Buy second hand. Much cheaper.

Definitely not sad, do it if you can afford it.

I was never keen on mine and like you it was purchased when money was tighter about 15 years ago. I was lucky to be given a limit less handmade voucher by my DH about 3 Christmases ago and we had a lovely day out together buying my dream ring.

My friend bought herself a new engagement ring because she didn't like hers (been married years), though she just picked on up in Claire's because she thought it was pretty 😂

Even if it is family money, it will eventually go to a member of the family.

I replaced my cheap gold wedding band for a white gold one years ago, but that was because I no longer suit yellow gold and I liked the white gold, DH wasn't bothered.

Go ahead, spoil yourself

Wear what you want. I have a beautiful engagement ring I love and matching wedding ring, but don't wear either. I wear a pretty gold ring my husband bought for me later instead on my ring finger. I find the engagement ring catches on things and the wedding ring looks odd on its own, so I wear a different gold ring with no diamond.

Have you looked at second hand rings, if you don't want to spend too much? They are much cheaper.

I had my modest engagement, eternity and wedding bands made into one chunky ring.

I have upgraded twice but I still wear my first one too.

I love a big, sparkly ring. I also love semi-precious stones like amethyst and moonstone far more than diamonds and sapphires.

I don't have an engagement or wedding ring at all. DP and I had a civil partnership and i don't go in for all that men buying women rings stuff. I love changing my rings, i couldn't stick with one style all my life, esp if it was a boring white diamond! I've bought all of my rings for myself, i don't see why that would be seen as sad?

Talk to you husband about it first, though! It would be awful if it upset him, or if someone said something to him about it and he wasn't prepared.

Where do you keep seeing these beautiful, sparkly engagement rings? Is it social media? Because if so, you're better of doing a social media detox and then ask yourself if you really still want the ring? It couldn't easily be that the reason you're not happy with the rings you have, is because your are inundated with "beautiful, sparkly rings" that people keep showing off.

I don't see the point in replacing white gold and diamond (however 'cheap' you say it is) with silver and a fake stone. But it's your finger and your money!

It’s just a ring! It doesn’t symbolise anything. Buy it and enjoy it.

As an aside, many of my friends no longer wear their engagement rings and a few have had their husbands ’upgrade’ them for an anniversary.

I agree with what other people are saying. It's a piece of jewelry.
You're the one who's going to be wearing it, you know your finger size you know your preferences, there's nothing wrong with you buying it in fact, I think it would be kind of weird for someone else to buy you such a personal piece of jewelry anyway.
I think that engagement ring shopping or any other thing like this should be done with both people, you're just cutting out the middleman, well the man all together really, and going to buy it for yourself.
Nothing wrong with that

Never wrong to buy yourself jewellery long as you can afford whatever it is. Plenty is cheap.

It's not unusual for people to upgrade their engagement rings later in marriage, when you can afford, or can just carry off something bolder. Or you could get an eternity ring if you wanted.

Enjoy it

M&S do beautiful sparkly rings

What’s the point in buying gifts for each other if you don’t have your own personal money?

Could you have the originals remodeled? So you're including the original metal and stone(s) into a new design?

Speak to him then. I have a heavy platinum and gold (two metal) band and DH has the same. He offered to buy an engagement ring and I thought it was a bit old fashioned and misogynistic so I said no although we looked as well. As time goes on DH offers when I mention it (normally oh look someone has x ring) but I don’t like the feeling behind it.

you however would like a nice one so say hey DH I would really like an upgrade please can we go shopping this Christmas 🎅

I’ve voted YABU as you’ve said you don’t like your cheap ring and so you want to exchange it for… a cheap sparkly ring! What’s the point? Get a decent ring.