What would you do with a weekend to yourself..kids away unexpectedly...my default is housework. HELP.

[LonelySeahorses]

Ok, so I appreciate there will be a few parents desperate for a weekend to themselves so apologies..I'm not meaning to irritate you😐🥰 Ive never had baby sitters and there is a level of anxiety when the kids are with their dad. I havent really ever had time off.
I am an exhausted mum of 3. Im a nurse.
I cry a lot out of exhaustion and frustration. I want to run away and escape reality for a bit but in a controlled non mid life crisis way😂

Well..this weekend my ex is taking the kids to the next county for the night (apparently also telling school that he has to take the youngest out early due to a fake GP appointment🙄

Now ive been told he is bringing them back sunday eve.

This leaves me from now until Sun eve free. Unexpectadly free. FREE.

AIBU to run off for a bit? But what to do with my time?

I'm massively burnt out and was meant to be on holiday this last week. I had to cancel it due to circumstances changing with my ex (yes..he really IS that awful to do that) anyway I missed out on a week abroad, lost flight money ..but also, ive only ever left my kids with him once for any length of time. The man is a 60 year old teenager, irresponsible, just nasty ..and I wouldnt have relaxed..so I think it worked out for the best all in all. A week not being able to reach my children leaving them with him would have been worrying. Kids say they feel safe, and are older teens, but I still worry and like to be accessible for them if they need me!
Work also messed up my annual leave and announced a week before i was due off on hols that they had to pull all of my holiday as they had messed up and allocated too many hours🫣 ( SO EVEN without the massive anxiety about leaving the kids.. id have had to take the week as unpaid. I couldn't have done that!

Last time i had a weekend to myself i blitzed the house, dyed my hair, batch cooked and took stuff to the tip. I shuffled round in bad clothes and had quite a nice time tbh but i Basically cooked and cleaned because other than work...that's what I do. I didnt know what else to do😒 i was tired and thought id use my time to do a muxh needed clean up.
I got lots done but it really highlighted that I've rather lost myself in kids, work and jobs. I'm basically a boring sad case!

I have a few options;
Stay at home and do as before

Stay at home and make an effort to do something different.

Drive 250 miles today and stay with my sister, drive 250 miles and stay with friends.

Book into a cheap?! Hotel and unwind, swim, read.

Leave the country and never come back.
( really tempting...I'm really fed up)

What I'd really like to do is go somewhere new and go for drinks and then to a club, dance and laugh, make a big fire and dance round it, wake up with no hangover, walk in a forest, go for a swim, snooze, read, eat. I want to flounce about in a sparkly dress, get muddy, have no responsibility.
I don' t really have friends that do that and I wouldnt know how to find this anyway!!

I do have some lovely friends but I feel burnt out by everyone I know and don't want to go for coffee or discuss their husband's or what to buy for Christmas.
I don't want to be paralysed by worry and I dont want to be sitting at home sunday thinking all I've done is housework again. If i stay home, that's all I can think to do.

Ideas please!
Help me out of this mindset

I think I would go to the nearest city, book a nice hotel (with spa if possible or something like that, even a massage facility or something) wander round the city having a look at museums etc, nice coffee and meal, maybe cinema. Then breakfast at the hotel (love hotel breakfast) and same again. Even a nice b and b would do.

If you have the funds could you rent a cottage or glamping hut somewhere soothing like a forest or coast? If you're burnt out then a change of environment to somewhere 'natural' would be good for you, so long as you're happy in your own company and comfortable in nature.

I am on my own this weekend after a couple of very stressful and busy weeks and very much looking forward to sleeping late and lounging in my pyjamas. Highly unlikely to do any housework 😂

You wrote down exactly wat you want to do - go clubbing, have a coffee, go for a forest walk. Do that! You don't need a company to do any of it. Just plan it as alone time.
Take yourself to a coffee shop with a book. Book a ticket to a gig or find some live music in your local area. Go alone, have a non alcoholic cocktail, dance laugh - wake up without hangover. Then drive to the nearest nature spot for a hike on Sunday. The world's you oyster. You just need to let go of the idea that you need company for any of it.

This! Find a cosy cafe, or a nice bookshop, or a Christmas market or whatever. A change of scenery can be incredibly restorative and if all you have to do is please yourself and potter about enjoying yourself, it's quite lovely.

I’d personally decamp to a cottage with a fire near a walkable beach, bringing beautiful food and wine and firewood and an armful of novels, and walk and take baths and read by the fire at night, but it sounds as if @OrangeBlossomsinthesun ’s suggestion might fit you better.

I used to have every other weekend on my own without the kid which was lovely. The dog and I would take a long walk (a few hours) on the Saturday morning and pop in for a coffee with my parents on the way past. Saturday afternoon was always a good tidy up and then reading a book in lovely wonderful silence. Sunday dog and I generally went out again for more walk but with a lovely pub lunch. We'd be home early afternoon and maybe do some baking before kid got home for her dinner.

Without the dog I'd probably go for a massage and a lovely lunch with my book.

Id book a B&B somewhere rural and go walking around lakes or something like that. Fresh for the mind, inspiring because of the natural beauty, cosy tea rooms… I just did this a month ago and came back inspired and fresh and smiled so much from the amazing scenery. I went to Rhyd Ddu in Snowdonia… get out there OP! Go solo and find your vibe 💪💪

In your tired burnt out state I would first concentrate on a great nights sleep and a lie in.

Then take myself out for brunch and an afternoon cinema showing. Nice food for dinner.

Then Sunday morning if the weather is conducive go for an exhilarating walk, late cafe lunch , home and do a bit of setting yourself up for the week.

Would you like to book a little cabin in the woods for a night, just go for walks, and read, and either buy in your favourite food and drink, or go out for a meal? This sounds like heaven to me xxx you definitely need some down time.

I would book into a nice hotel in a nearby City. Wander around the shops, pick up a good book. Have a lovely lunch somewhere. Get your hair blow dry. Go to Christmas Market and go and look at the lights. Stock up on some nice foodie bits and have a picnic watching some movies or binge watch a series.

I wouldn't do housework! Go visit your sister or book a weekend away closer to home and have fun relaxing and exploring. If you decide to stay home, maybe have a look on wowcher or similar to see if you can get a bargain spa day.

If you are feeling close to burn out, I wouldn’t travel 250 miles to see your family or friends given you only have 48 hours to yourself.

The hotel idea is nice, because being out of the house will stop you doing housework.

But if it were me I would do any necessary housework/tidying straight away so it isn’t on my mind for the rest of the weekend and before I started my relaxing.

For me, feeling like I am doing things I can’t normally do, is what makes me feel like I have had a proper break. I would:

Order a takeaway and watch a film (of my choosing!) this evening. I might have a bath before bed.

Sleep in for as long as I could tomorrow. Get a coffee and a newspaper and do the crossword in bed. I’d go for a swim, sauna and massage. I would want to see friends, but if I didn’t want to chat too much, I’d book something like a gig or a comedy night. Both are great fun and stress relievers for me.

On Sunday, I’d do something like go to an art gallery, or mooch around a market, maybe get my nails done and read a book.

I appreciate that this range of last minute things might only be doable in a city but I am in London so could make all this happen without having booked in advance so this might be useless advice. But I hope you can find stuff to do.

Enjoy your time off, OP.

I'm a parent carer. For me my time off means going to somewhere I don't have to talk to people, where there are zero demands.

Sometimes I book into a hotel and just read.

Last time I took out a trial Audible subscription and listened to Game of Thrones audio books for hours. (Spotify has 15 free hours a month of books if you have a family account, or local library/iPlayer for free). Couple of nights in a pub near a big forest, that serves fried breakfast and dinner.

Is there anything you want to see at the cinema? Pick one with extras - showcase with its amazing lean-back seats, or Everyman where they serve wine and bring pizza to your seat.

Exactly what I would do.

This also sounds amazing.

Friday I'd cook something I prefer - sea food risotto maybe, and watch a film. With my feet up.

Saturday morning, I'd run Parkrun and go for coffee with everyone else afterwards. Then shower, and look up what's on at the V&A or in my area. Check if any of my friends are at a loose end. Saturday night I'd head to the nearest comedy/jazz club even if on my own.

Sunday, invite a friend over for brunch. Or spend the day putting up xmas decorations, with a glass of wine.

What region or city are you in? MNers might have suggestions for sparkly dress opportunities!

If you are going to do any housework cap it at 1 hour whatever is needed for you to not be stressed about it when you are out/when you come back.

I went out for a non-booze evening out last night and was so much more energised for life admin this morning!

If you would like some company on one of the days how about a day hike via a meetup group or Gutsy girls or find your local cold water swimming/sauna spot - full of sorority!

I live alone so every weekend is mine.

I recently had a weekend to myself. The utter bliss of not having to think about or fit in around anyone else. The peace and quiet. No one asking you for anything or where stuff is. Evenings playing my Spotify. Takeaway curry. Only problem was having to deal with the cat who can be a bit full on. Enjoy your weekend OP x

I'd give myself 2 hours of 'being productive time' (cleaning, cooking, organising etc) and then time spent doing something just for you (coffee out with a book, gym class, swim, hair appointment etc).
Enjoy it!

I would be doing a combination of ...

Facial
Hair Treatment
New Lipstick (Mac or Lisa Eldridge or both!)
Lunch
Gallery
Theatre
Supper either out or order in at home from somewhere fabulous ...
Some excellent Wine

I would also be :
Bookshop pottering
Vintage Market pottering
Taking a long bath with some REN Rose Oil and candles ...
Reading my new book from the bookshop pottering!

Enjoy!

x

Chill and watch TV, have a nice bath, go shopping.

Where are you @LonelySeahorses as then we can help with better suggestions ...

#HaveALovelyWeekend

I too have quite a lot of time at weekends, recently I met a friend for coffee and cake at 10am on a retail park, 12noon M&S mooched around and chose Christmas decorations. Went in HobbyCraft and bought some bits to be creative, spent ages in there looking at things I might do one day. Got a pedicure with gel Polish from a walking place. Home, takeaway,rewatched Line of Duty. Bliss
One weekend went to a nearby city, had an early meal after a look round then got last minute ticket to a musical.
Met a friend one weekend and had lunch at a garden centre then walked around the grounds of NT property in the cold but sunny afternoon.