What would you do with a weekend to yourself..kids away unexpectedly...my default is housework. HELP.

[LonelySeahorses]

Ok, so I appreciate there will be a few parents desperate for a weekend to themselves so apologies..I'm not meaning to irritate you😐🥰 Ive never had baby sitters and there is a level of anxiety when the kids are with their dad. I havent really ever had time off.
I am an exhausted mum of 3. Im a nurse.
I cry a lot out of exhaustion and frustration. I want to run away and escape reality for a bit but in a controlled non mid life crisis way😂

Well..this weekend my ex is taking the kids to the next county for the night (apparently also telling school that he has to take the youngest out early due to a fake GP appointment🙄

Now ive been told he is bringing them back sunday eve.

This leaves me from now until Sun eve free. Unexpectadly free. FREE.

AIBU to run off for a bit? But what to do with my time?

I'm massively burnt out and was meant to be on holiday this last week. I had to cancel it due to circumstances changing with my ex (yes..he really IS that awful to do that) anyway I missed out on a week abroad, lost flight money ..but also, ive only ever left my kids with him once for any length of time. The man is a 60 year old teenager, irresponsible, just nasty ..and I wouldnt have relaxed..so I think it worked out for the best all in all. A week not being able to reach my children leaving them with him would have been worrying. Kids say they feel safe, and are older teens, but I still worry and like to be accessible for them if they need me!
Work also messed up my annual leave and announced a week before i was due off on hols that they had to pull all of my holiday as they had messed up and allocated too many hours🫣 ( SO EVEN without the massive anxiety about leaving the kids.. id have had to take the week as unpaid. I couldn't have done that!

Last time i had a weekend to myself i blitzed the house, dyed my hair, batch cooked and took stuff to the tip. I shuffled round in bad clothes and had quite a nice time tbh but i Basically cooked and cleaned because other than work...that's what I do. I didnt know what else to do😒 i was tired and thought id use my time to do a muxh needed clean up.
I got lots done but it really highlighted that I've rather lost myself in kids, work and jobs. I'm basically a boring sad case!

I have a few options;
Stay at home and do as before

Stay at home and make an effort to do something different.

Drive 250 miles today and stay with my sister, drive 250 miles and stay with friends.

Book into a cheap?! Hotel and unwind, swim, read.

Leave the country and never come back.
( really tempting...I'm really fed up)

What I'd really like to do is go somewhere new and go for drinks and then to a club, dance and laugh, make a big fire and dance round it, wake up with no hangover, walk in a forest, go for a swim, snooze, read, eat. I want to flounce about in a sparkly dress, get muddy, have no responsibility.
I don' t really have friends that do that and I wouldnt know how to find this anyway!!

I do have some lovely friends but I feel burnt out by everyone I know and don't want to go for coffee or discuss their husband's or what to buy for Christmas.
I don't want to be paralysed by worry and I dont want to be sitting at home sunday thinking all I've done is housework again. If i stay home, that's all I can think to do.

Ideas please!
Help me out of this mindset

DO NOT DO CHORES!! This is my default too and then when my alone time is over, I rage at myself. If you are at home, take managing this urge very seriously, because we are creatures of (stupid) habits. Be prepared to give yourself a good talking to! Say aloud, "I deserve and need a break. No shit for me this weekend."
I wouldn't drive miles to see people. Too stressful and time consuming.
Get physical - massage, swim, walk. Ice skating?
I'd book a cottage if I could get to it easily. Maybe by the sea?
And keep away from the news, social media and all the distracting, miserable crap.
Picture yourself as a child again and allow yourself to be carefree and in the moment again.

I have a blissfully free weekend this weekend too (tho no kids, but also NHS) and I plan on a walk in nature, feeding the birds, looking at chritsmas decs, buying myself a book. I'll have long bubble baths with book and wine and ice cream after I've made a lovely meal or ordered a take away. I will work on my painting and doing crafts. I there's availablity and money is there, I'd go to a spa to get a massage...

Don’t commit to a long drive if you are so burnt out you are crying.

Take an easy city break somewhere not too far, and sleep/walk outdoors for fresh air/ explore/eat.

Longer term it sounds as though you could benefit from therapy. Your thoughts sound rather chaotic. Maybe put less pressure on yourself.

I hope you enjoy your brief window of freedom OP. But whatever you do, don't do housework!

Definitely get away for a night or it's just the same old shit but with a takeaway.

I’d definitely recommend a glamping hut, should be cheaper this time of year. Preferably with a hot tub, a beach and a small town within reach.
But the main thing is that whatever you do, make sure its for you and not housework!!

Ooo these all sound amazing and now I want to run off for the weekend!
But alas I can't but if I had to dream...

I would do a couple of hours housework just so the house feels clean and comfortable without smelly boys and men messing the place up.
Then mooch around shops like t k max, book shops etc. Back home with plenty candles, blankets and read a book with a takeaway.
Next day, long dog walk in the countryside, lunch out, massage, new bedding and watch a girly film. Bloody hell I so want to do this now!

I would of suggested overnight in a spa but I actually love being in the house when I am by myself. Enjoy whatever you decide x

Absolute bliss. I would start with lie in, book, long bath, shave/fake tan/paint my toenails/do a hair mask.

Then get up and make myself a nice brunch while listening to the news/radio.

Then see what I felt like; probably deep clean the house for a few hours (so I could relax in it & catch up for the week), followed by a trip to town for hot chocolate and a mooch round the shops.

Then home for a takeaway, TV binge and probably call a friend that I wanted to catch up with.

Enjoy!

Sometimes I find a lot of pleasure in just dressing down, and getting a lot of work done around the house with no schedule to keep, getting laundry done, doing a lot of cooking, cleaning, it just feels so good to do this but, I can understand this is absolutely not a vacation for you in any way

Your idea? It's the most marvelous idea ever!!
"What I'd really like to do is go somewhere new and go for drinks and then to a club, dance and laugh, make a big fire and dance round it, wake up with no hangover, walk in a forest, go for a swim, snooze, read, eat. I want to flounce about in a sparkly dress, get muddy, have no responsibility.
I don' t really have friends that do that and I wouldnt know how to find this anyway!!"

God I wish I could do this with you, this sounds fantastic. Both dressing up in acute fun feminine sparkly way, but also getting down to nature... Having just enough drinks to laugh and feel warm and have a good time but not enough to be feeling awful the next day... There's something so amazing about being around a fire outdoors when it's cold out, and even getting muddy, I know that sounds gross to a lot of people but it sounds great to me. I love being grounded this way, no pun intended.

I also don't have any friends to do something like this with, but if you had some that were approximately 250 mi away, I'd recommend doing it. As long as they were up for it and we're going to give you a good time. Cuz it's a long drive otherwise!

My second guess for something reasonable along your lines would be to book into a non-expensive but nice hotel, long baths, take a swim or use the exercise room if they have that, maybe book some sort of a massage or a nail or facial treatment if you like that kind of thing...

My third recommendation would be if at all possible, to find some sort of local adventure company that could do something fun and outdoorsy and interesting, it may not be private just with you and instructor it might be with a small group of people but that could be a blast. You might have to do some furious online searching to try to find something in such short order, but I bet you there's experiences out there for the taking.

Whatever you end up doing, I hope that you have a marvelous weekend and I hope that it helps to recharge your batteries.

There are some wonderful suggestions here, but I wonder about running away from home the minute you have it entirely to yourself 🤔.

I may spend some time out being free to do the things I'm usually unable to; then come home to cook or order a delicious meal, light some candles and relax, relax and relax some more. There's a lot of enjoyment in floating about your home in peace.

Where are you?

I would go somewhere which has a bit of everything you fancy. By the sea? City? Rural?

You can get all dressed up and sit in the hotel bar in the evening, sipping cocktails. Have a lovely meal and read a book.

Visit museums, galleries, theatre? Cinema? Long walk?

Have a great time.

Op I sense some guilt in your message - the first thing you do is apologise to anyone who might be upset by your post, and you admit yourself to using the time on previous weekends to be “productive”

It can be really hard, when you have a little pocket of free time to yourself but feel pressure to be productive, pressure to have a fabulous refreshing time, and guilt for other people, to actually enjoy time off.

I say all this not to upset you, just to say I don’t want you to fret about what you’re doing this weekend and if it’s “enough”

if it were me, I would give myself one nice thing (woodland walk, hot choc and a book in a cafe, swimming, meet friends) and then one thing you feel like you “ought” to be doing (hoover, wash sheets, prep a meal) for each day I had free. This would a. Make sure I did some actual nice relaxing things b. Stop me from constantly fretting that I wasn’t doing jobs and c. Make me feel more free in the remaining free time, which might let me think a bit more on what I actually feel like doing!

my big recommendations are, don’t go to bed really late, don’t drink loads of wine, and try and see a friend at some point for a check in. Also - don’t feel guilty, whatever you end up doing, you are allowed to and deserve to rest.

look after yourself and I hope this weekend can be really restful for you!

Hi...so I got in the car and I drove to Weston Super Mare. I had my nails done...made a big difference.to how my hands look! So pleased.
I booked into a hotel, had one glass of wine and dinner in the resteraunt surrounded by couples and christmas parties. I chatted to a few people but missed my partner terribly! I hate it when he is away.

Bath, bed by 11...breakfast this morning then a walk...i stopped off at a few shops on the way home and a national trust garden. It was nice...different.
I was away from home for 24 hours and was pleased to be home actually.
I made some little connections with strangers which actually was nice
It reminded me i was vaguely interesting and that I have something to offer.

My kids came home five minutes after i got back which was a lovely suprise.

I also found a counsellor on line as dont think its good that Im feeling like this. Xx