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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if Mumsnetters open their door to carol singers?

105 replies

MatchaYourEnergy · 11/12/2025 20:27

Because it’s the season to be jolly and everything - I just wondered this really.

i know that MNers are cautious about opening their doors - and I can’t say I blame them.

but do you open the doors to carol singers?

OP posts:
slightlyunimpressed · 12/12/2025 06:51

I sing in a couple of choirs and one does a big Christmas concert a few days before Christmas which has always been an event in our village. As other members of the choir have got older or ill and dropped out of the concert, a group of 4 of us have sung carols for them. No charity collection and all arranged in advance - so only for people who want it! We generally get a mince pie and cup of tea.

We quite often have other people stop to listen and ask if there is a charity they can donate money to, but that isn’t the purpose.

TheaBrandt1 · 12/12/2025 08:18

Odd op - sadly fretting about whether to open the door to carol singers or not is now a pretty much extinct concern!

Wednesdaysotherchild · 12/12/2025 08:22

I’m 42 and have never had carol singers knock on the door in my entire life…

Screamingabdabz · 12/12/2025 08:27

Our church (deprived area) does Carol singing on some of the local estates in December. People love it and yes, they come out to the door with kids in pjs and watch us and donate (we raise money for the children's society).

One estate has lots of Sikhi and Hindu families and they’re always the most welcoming and most generous. It’s a really lovely ecumenical and community thing to do.

rafeal · 12/12/2025 08:31

In my 50s and the last time I remember Carol singers I was a child at home.

RainySundayAfternoon · 12/12/2025 08:35

I would if I had any cash in the house! I assume they would be collecting?
it’s been a couple of decades or more since I’ve seen carol singers though!

As a young teenager groups of young people from the church we attended would go round to the houses of parishioners to sing, and we’d be invited in for mince pies etc, I have fond memories of that! But we didn’t knock on the door of randoms, even then (early 80s) it wasn’t seen as acceptable or a good idea!

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/12/2025 08:41

I can't open my front door to anyone because the dog is in the way, barking and snarling and desperate to be allowed to leap out through the gap and give anyone on the doorstep a good growling at. I open the front window instead.

We get carol singers from the church two doors down. But this is a tiny hamlet where everyone knows everyone and 80% of the village goes to church (I make up most of the remaining 20% and am regarded as a well-meaning heathen).

And yes, I do know how lucky I am to live where I do.

scalt · 12/12/2025 08:43

I would, if there were any. One year, we took our instruments outside, and played carols in the front garden, which drew some admiring glances.

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 12/12/2025 08:47

I definitely would but I would also assume there had been some sort of supernatural break in the space time continuum and that I would be opening a door to the past.

Then I suppose I would feel disappointed that it’s still 2025 and I would just give them money.

Dweetfidilove · 12/12/2025 08:51

I don't get them, but I certainly would 😊.

Somersetbaker · 12/12/2025 08:51

No, nobody pays for music now!

ViciousCurrentBun · 12/12/2025 08:52

I used to go Carol singing with my church but the last time was 20 years ago and this was a full choir, not had any Carol singers for at least a decade.

We do get the Rotary Santa sleigh down our road which I always like.

Sartre · 12/12/2025 08:58

Never had any but I’d personally love it. I wouldn’t have cash to offer though, I never have physical money.

Luckyforsome23 · 12/12/2025 09:01

We do it locally. We put letters through doors giving people notice and ask them to put a lit candle in the window or on the doorstep if they would like us to knock. It is a lovely evening. We collect food for the food bank not money and everyone is very happy to see us.

TheaBrandt1 · 12/12/2025 13:58

That sounds lovely. I actually think most people would love to have carol singers but the whole thing is dying out. Worrying about them calling round is the equivalent of worrying if your crinoline is creased or whether you have been invited to the ball at the Manor House or not!

superbakedpotato · 12/12/2025 14:09

I'd bloody love it if carol singers came knocking, but it's never happened while we've lived here sadly. It looks like so much fun on Christmas movies!

Tillow4ever · 12/12/2025 14:14

In my 46 years on this planet, I’ve never known carol singers come to the door. Admittedly the first few years are a little hazy, so maybe they did back then.

If they did, I’d open the door and probably join in (is that even allowed?).

JudgeBread · 12/12/2025 14:16

Our local church goes round doing the carols and I always open the door to them, some of these ladies played a part in raising me lmao, I couldn't ignore them.

I never know what to do though. I find it hard to just stand there smiling benevolently, I feel like I should be joining in or doing a dance or conducting them or something.

starrynight009 · 12/12/2025 14:25

Church groups do it around where we live. But they don't knock on doors. They just stand outside and sing and people open their doors and watch. I think it's lovely.

Netcurtainnelly · 12/12/2025 14:27

Whose Carol Singers?
Where does she live?

BauhausOfEliott · 12/12/2025 15:17

Simonjt · 11/12/2025 20:37

They probably phone the police

I believe the full range of Mumsnet advice on how to handle carol singers would be:

  • 'Log it with 101'
  • 'Get a Ring doorbell, OP'
  • 'Change the locks just in case'
  • 'Do a Claire's Law'
  • Debate whether 'it's a safeguarding issue'
  • Assume that the carol singers had SEN, were ND and/or had dementia
  • Complain that the singing made them anxious because of 'sensory issues' or misophonia
  • Profess to be 'baffled' for some reason because some people handle carol singers in a slightly different way to them
  • 'OMG they're probably lonely, it really wouldn't hurt you to to invite them in, give them the figgy pudding they're demanding and then meet them 'for a coffee' every other day for the rest of your life, what happened to being kind'
  • Assume that if the carol singers are men, singing on your doorstep is either 'creepy' or 'typical male entitlement'
  • Ask the carol singers if they meant to be so rude
  • Tell them to fuck off and die and then blame that aggressive response on perimenopause for some reason
  • Suggest that the OP's DH should open the door to share the 'mental load'
BauhausOfEliott · 12/12/2025 15:21

I have a vague memory of carol singers from the local church knocking on the door once or twice when I was a young child, but it's not something I've experienced in the last 40-ish years.

itsnotfairisit · 12/12/2025 15:23

As a child and teen in the 70s and 80s I remember this, and I think it happened one of two times in the leafy part of London where I lived in the early noughties. But not since then. Shame really. But given that MN is weirdly firmly opposed to door opening I can’t see it working these days!

Leafy3 · 12/12/2025 15:23

I would, but haven't seen any since the 90s. Should bring them back

Livingthebestlife · 12/12/2025 15:27

They're quite popular here in Ireland. We do get the teens who are clearly gathering their drink money, there's quite a few local clubs and some charities. I did get one woman last year on her own and sang some hymn with about 25 verses. Unfortunately this year I don't have cash in the house so had to do a mumsnetter thing and ignore the door.