One dog too many…AIBU!?

[OhSoAsd]

I know this is a sensitive subject to many, so please be kind.

We had 2 dogs, male and female who we absolutely adore!! They get on great, they’re used to our routine and we have little no issues with them!
We somehow missed her season, she must not of shown, and nor did we catch any odd behaviours or a tie between them!
You know how it works and 8 weeks later we have a beautiful healthy litter of pups!
it was a wonderful, tiring, beautiful, stressful,expensive 9 weeks before they left for their new homes. My partner so desperately wanted to keep one, so with much persuasion we did.

however….said partner works 60+ hours a week so it was ultimately left down to me to raise, train, walk etc.
She is now 6 months old and I’ve been thinking for the past month or so that it was the wrong decision and just too much with also having mum and dad and our own children…I’ll put my hands up and admit having 3 is probably one dog too much for me….pup is an absolute terror.

No amount of training, walking, playing, puppy classes, crate time, time out etc seems to be doing anything. She ignores her name. She ignores commands that she has previously learnt and done excellent with.
She hangs off mum/dad when biting them to the point they’re screaming out in pain and she refuses to let go. She knows toileting, but now all of a sudden it’s wherever whenever she pleases (access to garden every hour or so alone) She has destroyed the kitchen cupboards, tables, chairs and what not. (Yes she has a million toys of all different types, teething toys, soft toys, harder toys, interactive toys, you name it we’ve probably got it)

I just feel I’m at my limit with it now and maybe she would be better suited to a single dog household where she won’t get the distractions of mum and dad?

this will of course upset my partner but ultimately I am the one losing my mind on a daily trying to control her and cleaning up the destruction she leaves. It is a taking a toll mentally, the dread of what will happen today, or popping out to come home to destruction and toileting all over.

AIBU to want to rehome her?

YANBU for thinking it’s one dog too many. It clearly is.

YABU for not having your dog neutered. I hope you have since or you’ll just end up in this situation again soon

I probably should have added, dads castration was actually booked the same week this must of happened

Rescues are on their knees at the moment, who do you think will be rushing to get their hands on your poor puppy?

First reply is overly harsh but not completely incorrect. If you have a male and a female then you must have known this would happen. You’re not going to have eyes on them all the time. At least one of them should have been neutered and then this would never have happened.

This was your first mistake. Your second was being talked into keeping one by your dh who quite clearly was going to have no involvement in raising it or training it.

I don’t think you’d be unreasonable to rehome it if it’s not working out. It doesn’t seem fair on your older dogs. From your post you seem to want validation that it’s the right thing to do. Just don’t let it happen again.

OP... you might get better responses if you are just honest... noone on earth is stupid enough to believe that you had two dogs, male and female, and deliberately left them both un-neutered, and then it was a total surprise to you that you had puppies. You did it deliberately, you know people will say its wrong and you're trying to soften it so people dont focus on the back you were breeding for profit. You didnt actually need to mention the backstory, you could have just said you got a puppy and its not getting on well.

EDIT TO ADD after unwarranted abuse
-dad was actually castrated in what would of been the same week as conception.
-not a breeder. No intentions to ever breed before, or again for that matter. honest unknown mating.
-Both dogs I had rehomed in previous years.

I am being honest? I’ve added I should have mentioned dad was actually castrated in what would have been the same week. And previously if we had known of her heat (usual signs she shows and bleeding didn’t show) they are separated and have belly bands/nappies on when around each other.

I didn’t say anything about using a rescue did I? She would be placed with a family member.

Why on earth isn't your bitch spayed? I'm sorry but you've been completely irresponsible.

Sounds like you've hit the teenager stage with your puppy. I have 1 dog, now 2. She wrecked my house at this age. Still im her crate when I go out. If you need to rehome do it. Tell your partner to step up if he refuses. Ut if keeping, dog will get better
. Good luck

I call absolute BS on missing your female dog being in season. I don’t know one person with a bitch who has missed it, especially with an un-neutered male dog in the house!!!

But there was always the chance you'd miss the warning signs of her heat, how old are the dogs?

Leaving aside the origins of this issue op, I would say that YANBU to want to re-home given your dp’s working hours and your other commitments.

However, Christmas is not a good time to do this. Also, every dog goes through a teen phase where they are a bit difficult, and test the training, and it is usually around 6 months to 2 years depending on the breed and the individual dog.

I think you need to be really honest with yourself and assess whether the puppy’s behaviour now is because enough training has not been invested because of other commitments, or whether this is down to adolescence?

If it’s the former then definitely re-home before it gets worse and the pup is young enough to benefit from new boundaries. Six months is a bit too late and rehoming would have been far better earlier but never mind!

If it’s the latter, then I would advise hanging in there a while, going for some training, involving your dp more at weekends and when he can during the week, and see if there is any significant improvement. If not, only then, after four months of really trying, would I consider rehoming.

If you go for option 2, you have to get your dp involved during the Christmas holidays so he can see the issues at first hand.

I think you should send her to your family member. That’s not quite what your partner wants but he would still get to see the dog.

Off on a tangent….

I don’t know much about dogs so this might be stupid. I was wondering if puppies who are living with their parents are more difficult to train because their parents are teaching them things too. Would they ignore the humans?

Why is mum not spayed? Accident waiting to happen.

Has to be a wind up.

Puppy’s at 6 months old are always hard work, don’t rehome a dog you haven’t trained yourself, chances are the next person will ditch the dog too. You have been really irresponsible here, do the work to fix it.

Go for it OP. Especially if a family member will take the puppy. Just call them. Tell your DP you can't manage three and the decision is made. Good luck.

Belly bands and nappies wouldn't have prevented a pregnancy. You should have spay aborted. This wasn't an accidental litter.

I find this difficult to believe, having lived with two bitches and an entire dog in the house at the same time. You can't possibly not know your bitch is in season when you have a dog in the house. He won't have just suddenly, silently mounted her during the receptive stage, with absolutely no signs of interest before that point. They cry and whine and try to sniff or lick and the bitch would have been fed up with him long before she was ready for mating.

No amount of training, walking, playing, puppy classes, crate time, time out etc seems to be doing anything. She ignores her name. She ignores commands that she has previously learnt and done excellent with.

She's 6 months old FFS! One of ours was a nightmare until he was about 18 months old.

So you wanted her when she was a lovely, sweet, cute puppy but now she is a difficult teenage dog you want to palm her off on someone else?

I think the question is where your thoughts really lie. I think people know deep down what they’re going to do. The puppy stage is absolute hell on earth and I regularly thought about how much easier life would be without him but simultaneously I more often thought ‘my god I can’t imagine anyone else having him and he’s a member of the family’. Christmas is the worst time of the year to do it but at the same time no dog should live where they’re unwanted. I think they’re better at a shelter where they have a chance of finding love

eta just saw you said you’d have a family member to take the puppy. Definitely do that

Im ignoring all the other stuff and giving advice re the puppy. Puppies are a FLIPPING NIGHTMARE. My old girl died in April, and I had a 7 year old, who TBH seemed old when she was born. We now have a 6 month old and the last 3 weeks have been the worst because he is in teen mode. I regularly think I want to send him back, but then he does something adorable (he completely loves me) and I soldier on. Your DH needs to step up the most as it was his idea to keep. Mine only gets tired out when i take him to puppy socialisation. So while its a bit pricey, doing that helps alot. Ultimately if you are going to re home the sooner the better. But all puppies are twats.