To feel guilty for being signed off work 26 weeks pregnant??

[tigerlilt]

Basically that. I have an extremely demanding and stressful job (a&e nurse) and i’m really really struggling. I’m at high risk of pre term labour and i’m worried the stress and non stop nature of my job is going to push me over the edge. I deal with high emotion, stressful situations daily, don’t get breaks and my manager has done nothing to help. I’ve been suffering from pain, exhaustion, anxiety and have been to MAU several times due to injuries (a blow to the stomach being one of them) at work.

Im already going off at 31 weeks due to being told baby girl could come any time from 32 weeks, and have 2 weeks annual leave from the end of december anyway. I spoke to my midwife on monday and she has suggested getting my GP to sign me off, at least for a few weeks.

So basically, am I being a wimp for being signed off when I only have 10 shifts left with my annual leave, and should i feel like a dick for being signed off just before christmas?

Yabu 🙄 they will cope without you

Take time to enjoy your pregnancy and prep for your lovely baby 🥰

And Merry Christmas 🎄

please, please don't feel guilty. Think of it as prioritising the needs of your baby.

Would your trust not move you to admin role in the dept?

I was moved after a risk assessment. Plus I really didnt want my maternity leave triggered early.

No. You need to get as far along as you can with pregnancy and work is not helping with that. Having a baby prematurely is incredibly stressful and risky and doesn't always end happily.

I don’t think so- i’ve expressed how much i’m struggling and nothing has been done. I was worried about this but I’ve been assured they can’t trigger early mat leave unless i go off sick after 36 weeks?

If you quit they'd replace you within a few days. It's just a job, you owe it nothing. What would you say to a patient in your situation?

You are extremely replaceable at work. You aren’t replaceable at all for your family. Priorities! You’re absolutely not being ‘lazy’ and making the right decision

Writing this as a former 25 weeker, of course YANBU.

I'd really, really check this. My sister had her mat leave triggered at 32 weeks after being signed off with a pregnancy-related condition. This was admittedly nearly 20 years ago but it completely torpedoed her plans and finances and there was nothing she could do about it.

I’ve done a lot of research as was worried about this and i’m 99% sure. Can anyone confirm?

I'm not NHS but am public sector and the key thing in my organisation is to be signed off on sick leave, not mat leave, to ensure you're not using up your mat leave early.

Pregnancy related sickness isn't counted for discipinary actions, promotions etc.

And absolutely take the sick leave - you need to put you and your baby first. As you say, it's only 10 shifts, they'll have to manage. Your manager has been unsupportive, so don't feel as if you owe them anything personally.

Think I voted the wrong way whoops

You should not feel the slightest bit guilty about this. In plenty of countries in Europe you'd be off automatically anyway as a nurse not allowed to work whilst pregnant

Nothing to feel guilty for, if you are feeling the way you are and your midwife has recommended you are signed off then I would listen to your midwife. Don’t feel guilty, try and relax and rest and have some time to look after yourself before baby arrives. You have to look after yourself, no one else will put you first.

Go off sick & don’t feel guilty.

We are all just number in work. You have to look after yourself/your baby.

I had been off for 5 months due to seizures during pregnancy. Line manager told me ‘this is why we’re lucky we can work from home’. I thought nope, fuck you, and went off sick. People in the workplace don’t give a shit about anyone.

You are being ridiculous. If you are ill take the time off you need. If you are ill, cancel your annual leave!

Correct regarding 36 week pregnancy related sickness triggers maternity leave. Cannot beleive they've not offered you any adjustments ... that is dire!!

You are right, 36 weeks

I’m shocked they haven’t put you on some sort of restricted hours and duties. Given that they haven’t, fuck them, do what keeps you and baby healthy.

Well done. Put you and baby first, it's fine!

Absolutely do not feel guilty. Pregnancy is a special time in life that needs respecting. For mums with HG and other bad first trimester issues we get signed off/quit jobs/take unpaid leave from around five weeks!

So in summary are you a 'wimp' for following medical advice to be signed off at 26 weeks to avoid to going into preterm labour? And does it make you a 'dick' for wanting to avoid putting your baby at risk for 10 more shifts?
Where in the world are such ideas coming from? What could be more important that protecting the well being of your unborn baby?

Oh no. Definitely not being unreasonable. I work as a nurse too and im 14 weeks pregnant and struggling with fatigue. I couldnt imagine working in ED heavily pregnant.

Im surprised youre going off at 32 weeks, if it was me, I would be getting a sick note until 36 weeks. They cant touch you until then and after 36 weeks its maternity. Dont waste 4 weeks maternity. Defo just go off sick and dont even feel guilty about it

The thing is, flu is rife atm also. You dont want to get ill before xmas and or injured before work. Dont even feel guilty. They wont care and you aren't gonna see them for another year. I've been told by loads of nurses they went off at 28/29 weeks because of back pain and stuff and told me "this is your time now never feel guilty."

I work in theatres and went off at 24 weeks pregnant with twins because I just couldn’t hack being on my feet all day. They pushed my maternity leave start date back so I could stay off sick until they would automatically start it at 36 weeks. If I was you I’d be asking them to do this so you’re using your sick leave and not maternity leave!
Don’t feel guilty about it. You have to put you and baby first. They’ll find someone to cover - overtime, bank, agency. Someone will do your shift so don’t worry about it. Keep yourself safe!

Hey op, please do not worry. Im a band 7 ED Sister and let me reassure you that we're all just a number and so easily replaceable.
As a sister group we deeply care about our staff as do the Matrons but them upstairs give no shits. You and baby come first, always. Rest up.

Can you ask for a fit note that says you can do admin only? That might keep you at work not on Mat leave but not doing this. If it’s too much go back and get fully signed off.