To feel guilty for being signed off work 26 weeks pregnant??

[tigerlilt]

Basically that. I have an extremely demanding and stressful job (a&e nurse) and i’m really really struggling. I’m at high risk of pre term labour and i’m worried the stress and non stop nature of my job is going to push me over the edge. I deal with high emotion, stressful situations daily, don’t get breaks and my manager has done nothing to help. I’ve been suffering from pain, exhaustion, anxiety and have been to MAU several times due to injuries (a blow to the stomach being one of them) at work.

Im already going off at 31 weeks due to being told baby girl could come any time from 32 weeks, and have 2 weeks annual leave from the end of december anyway. I spoke to my midwife on monday and she has suggested getting my GP to sign me off, at least for a few weeks.

So basically, am I being a wimp for being signed off when I only have 10 shifts left with my annual leave, and should i feel like a dick for being signed off just before christmas?

You should have been risk assessed and moved from a&e . This is not your fault. But if your sick note mentions your pregnancy it could trigger the start of mat leave early.

A lot has changed in 20 years! When I had my first 16 years ago maternity would be triggered if you was off within 11 weeks of due date. Now I’m certain it is from 36 weeks pregnant. However in your case the only thing I’d double check is whether it would apply to a due date at 40 weeks or because you’ve been told you risk premature labour at 32 could they start maternity early based on that.

I worked up until my due date with DC1 and planning on doing the same now but I would NEVER judge anyone for getting signed off. Pregnancies are different, bodies are different, job demands are different.
We had someone at work who got signed off from 18 or 20 weeks as she wasn't feeling too well but no one ever judged (to my knowledge 😂).
They will cope without you.

They wouldn't start early based on that.

It's counted based on the due date and is triggered to start 4 weeks before the date.

Your union will confirm. Has your employer done a risk assessment? They should have and put in place measures to mitigate the risks. Please contact your union ASAP.

Your Trust has a health and safety policy for new and expectant mothers. Find it. Wave it at them.

But no, YANBU. Work is never more important than your health and personal safety.

Nah OP don’t feel guilty. I am in healthcare and preggo too but not in as physical a role as yours and throughout this pregnancy I have often wondered how a&e / acute ward nurses in particular are doing it. I’m 30 weeks now and still managing but v pleased a lot of my day is spent sat down

You're being unreasonable to feel guilty. Honestly, I had a pre term baby. The guilt of not carrying baby to term, and the responsibility I felt for everything he had to go through....
Put your baby first OP and take care of yourself

I can’t believe that you haven’t been placed on restricted duties. In the police if you’re pregnant you don’t do any public facing duties. It’s a shame to go sick but you have no choice. Speak to your union.

A wimp? No! Your work place has let you down massively for not giving you some adjustments to keep you safe. Fuck em. As others have said you’re replaceable at work, but not at home!

@tigerlilt take the time off. It sounds like the anxiety and stress would limit your capabilities at work anyway so much better to have someone in especially over winter even if it’s bank staff etc who isn’t having the challenges you are - better for you, better for the rest of the staff and better for the patients too.

If baby came much earlier than expected they would have to survive without you anyway. I’m sure over the years you’ve done your fair share of unpaid overtime etc (not that you need to justify it). You’re not being a wimp but who honestly if anyone suggests you are - that’s a them problem - there’s no medal for being a martyr and if there was a problem with baby you’d always look back and think wtaf was I doing at work. Trust your gut my lovely, enjoy some rest and nesting and good luck with the pregnancy.

also as many others have said - a good compromise would be reasonable adjustments being put in place - pregnancy is a protected characteristic so if you do actually want to stay working then I’m surprised occupational health haven’t been involved and really your manager should be ensuring adjustments are made or you can working in a non patient facing role etc (if that’s something you’d want)

YANBU. It sounds as though your work is hazardous for you and your baby and is making you ill. Your work should have done pregnancy risk assessment for you and made reasonable adjustments - it’s terrible that they haven’t. Double and triple check your maternity and sick leave policy and as long as mat leave can’t be triggered until 36 weeks get yourself signed off sick until your annual leave starts.

You do whatever you need to do for yourself and your baby! The NHS won’t do it for you, you’re just a number to them.

Off topic, but when you fill in your maternity leave paperwork- IGNORE the box requesting you to select your preference for pay (sorry I can’t recall exactly, as was a few years ago, but think there were 2 options). Write beside the boxes- PAY EVENLY OVER 12 MONTHS. Or words to that effect. A colleague advised me this and it worked! ☺️

It’s yet another thing no-one tell you about. I tell everyone I ever meet about this, as it often means it’s easier to take the full 12 months off, instead of doing 9 months then being unable to survive 3 months no pay!

Wishing you every bit of health and happiness for your expanding family

I was signed off from about 10 weeks with DS2 (hyperemisis). I have never felt guilty about it, why would I? I could barely potter about the house without vomiting let alone get the bus and go to work every day.

I did think that would be the case but as I was unsure I would of checked anyway to be sure