To upgrade my phone?

[reallysillydilemma]

ive had my current phone for two and a half years. The battery is gone and it’s slowing down, the apps don’t work correctly etc.

I have looked into upgrading and it’s only £15 a month more than my current contact which I can easily afford. My partner thinks I should stay with the current phone that I have because it’s “not sustainable” to get a new one and this one “still works”. But I just think it would be more beneficial to get the new one

You won't be able to carry on using it indefinitely. You eventually won't be able to update it and all your apps will stop working.

Tell him to take the old one to a recycling centre if he's had bothered about sustainability.

I’ve said I can afford it - which is all that really matters?

Oh, come on. A phone isn't a luxury in 2025, it's a necessity and her old one isn't working properly. Nails are a luxury, sure, but millions of women choose to spend disposable income on them once a month or so. Hair is pretty standard maintenance/grooming, but even if it wasn't, so what?

The OP is spending her own disposable income on very, very ordinary things that a huge number of women also choose to spend their disposable income. You might not choose to spend your money on those things, but that doesn't mean there's anything excessive or unusual about it, and it's none of your bloody business how much the OP earns. She says in her post that she can 'easily afford' an extra £15 a month, and that's all you need to know.

Aft

So why are you even bothered what your partner thinks about what you spend your own money on? It's none of his business and the more you type the more red flags are waving

I parted from a controlling husband 40 odd years ago and from what you’ve said about your partner he’s starting off the same way as mine did in the early days. It was all downhill from there.

If my daughter said to me what you’ve just posted here I’d be encouraging her to think very carefully about moving in together and planning on sharing a home and mortgage with this guy 🚩 🚩

I am in to sustainability and keep phones until they break or close to breaking.
Last month my battery started being funny and within about a week it was a regular problem and another week was bordering unusable as it only worked if plugged in so I had to carry a portable battery with me. I managed this for a week or so which allowed me to get a new phone in the black Friday deal. No guilt!

I bought a phone outright for £150 though, my contract is £7 a month.

Your partner does seem to have a lot of opinions! There seems to be a mismatch between spending expectations it might be worth sitting down and working where these opinions are coming from. He might be being an arse or he might be coming from a good place but in a clumsy way.

After 2.5 years your contract should have finished as £45 per month for SIM only is a shocking price. You don’t sound very clued up on this sort of thing and where does the nails thing come into
it.

Maybe he is saying you are just spending money without researching what you are buying

It was a 24 month airtime, 36 handset - the amount left on the handset is £280 which is covered by the trading value (and then some!)

YANBU. But it doesn’t sound like you and your partner are financially compatible. You’re either a reckless spendthrift or he’s a miserly git - it’s impossible to judge (and it’s none of our business. Get the phone if you want to. It’s no one’s decision but yours.

Thankfully many men (my DH included) couldn't give a flying shit if I upgraded my phone or not. And vice versa. If I even thought to mention / ask him if I should / could pay £15 extra a month for a phone he would look at me like I had two heads and ask what the hell it's got to do with him 😂

Having read the OPs update about her DP wanting her to go back to her natural hair colour so she doesn't have to go to the hairdressers anymore, I'm going to say he's either massively controlling or tight as a duck's arse.

Or both.

I wouldn’t take out another 36 month contract, that’s just madness. I find if you use them a lot phones start to lag and the battery isn’t the best after 2 years.

i find that after two (and a bit) years, the amount you have left on the contract is less than the trade in - so you pay for the phone for that long and end up with some extra money at the end of it

Maybe he is saying you are just spending money without researching what you are buying

Presumably, if he wanted to be helpful, he would show cheaper options that still meet OPs requirements. He's not doing that. He's saying she should keep trying to use the phone she's got.

But the bottom line is, it's her money, she can afford it after pay her bills and putting money into her savings. It doesn't affect him in the slightest.

So, tell us more about your partner …

What hobbies and interests does he pursue?

What sort of car does he drive?

What does he do to keep fit?

How many stag does beyond your nearest city has he been on in the last few years?

Then think about how you want to live your life. Do you want him monitoring and limiting every step you take?

Wouldn’t you be happier on your own?

(Assuming any of this is real, of course …)

He likes sports - cricket, rugby, football etc etc. he doesn’t tend to go and watch though.

He has a ford, I don’t know the type because I’m not a car girl 🤣

he runs, and goes to the gym.

we’ve not really had any stag does in the friendship group yet, but there are a couple coming up next year and one is in Ibiza

And that is the answer you should be giving him.

Make your own decisions.
I bet partner spends more than 15 a month on beers lattes and avocados

If you have a sim only, why not get a handset only? Look at Backmarket and get a refurbished one. Way cheaper and you get the phone you want without adding to your contract

Do. Not. Move. In. With. Him.

All of this. What a twat. My phone is in my DH name and if I wanted a new upgrade that was going to cost more he'd have zero issues with it. And it's technically his money, I'm a sahm. If your partner is trying to control how you spend your money I'd be out of there in a flash. Arsehole😠

Tbh… THIS is what you need to say to your boyfriend

look love, he’s showing you who he is, he’s controlling you and telling you what you can/can’t do WITH YOUR MONEY

an input on your nails and hair?

FUCK RIGHT OFF!

seriously!!

he doesn’t want to commit to a mortgage with you but is dictating how you live?

no, take this from an old bird who has been there done that and got the Tshirt

he’s not the one for you - for anyone come to think of it - he’s a walking red flag, your life will be a misery.

he’ll be one of those cunts who put a pin on the central heating thermostats and set it to sub-fucking-zero and you won’t be able to do a thing about it

DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THIS DICKHEAD!

On the one hand, it’s none of his business and he can fuck off telling you how to spend your money.

On the other hand, maybe he loves you and wants a future with you but can’t see how you’ll get there if you spend excessively and don’t save enough, or maybe even if just that you spend on hair/nails/phones but then never have money for kinds of things you might want to do together (we don’t have the full picture, and you say you can afford it but how much are you actually saving and putting in a pension, too). I’ve not had a phone contract since I was very young, I just save up and buy outright and then pay about £10 monthly for a SIM with loads of data. An iPhone will usually last me 3-4 years, I’ve just bought a 256gb 16e for £600 so that works out about £15 a month, £25 with a SIM. DH does the same, reasonably high income household. I can’t imagine paying £60 monthly for a phone, and definitely not before I’d got a mortgage!

Between my contributions and my employer’s contributions, 30% of my monthly salary goes to my pension. I have the money to go and do things as and when we want to.

Tell your partner to mind his own business if you can afford it just do it and don't move in with him either can see problems ahead with money the way he's acting already