To upgrade my phone?

[reallysillydilemma]

ive had my current phone for two and a half years. The battery is gone and it’s slowing down, the apps don’t work correctly etc.

I have looked into upgrading and it’s only £15 a month more than my current contact which I can easily afford. My partner thinks I should stay with the current phone that I have because it’s “not sustainable” to get a new one and this one “still works”. But I just think it would be more beneficial to get the new one

He thinks I should stick with this one for “sustainability”, he doesn’t like the idea of me spending £15 a month more on it (despite me having already made cut backs in other areas at his insistence) and he thinks it’s selfish of me.

Are you going to pay it with the mortgage/bill money 🤔?

I assume in these cases a repair is more expensive than an upgrade. Get a new one.

If you are looking to get a mortgage soon (you said about moving) that £60 a month commitment will be factored in to your affordability calcs. Not necessarily a problem but maybe that’s what he is concerned about, especially if between you there a lots of other monthly contracts (cars, streaming services, gym memberships etc).
He could also just be being a knob…

No, it’s out of my “fun” money.

We’re not, we’re saving for a deposit but he doesn’t want to commit to a mortgage with me yet

I'm all for sustainability, but why not swap phones with partner, and then see if HE enjoys the speed etc of your phone!

I always buy reconditioned one outright from backmarket etc. I could afford to, but I too wouldn't spend £60 a month!!!

You've not moved in yet and he's trying to control you. Run for the hills...

Phones do not really come under 'sustainability' because they all age and become impractical.

But in any case, he is just asserting that his opinion is right, yours is wrong and therefore you should do what he wants with your own money.

This is a huge red flag.

What are the other cutbacks that he insisted on?

He’s said I need to do my own nails if I want them done because they cost too much. He’s also saying he wants me to change my hair colour because I pay too much in maintenance for my blonde.

Wow, red flags all around. Bin him and his controlling behaviour along with the old phone. Imagine what it would be like living with him. You’ll be sat in the cold with no heating on eating Tesco value baked beans.

Gosh, how much do you earn? Thats quite a bit of money spent on luxuries? Are you currently renting and paying bills?

So you've changed your hair colour to save money because that's what he wants, not what you want?

He’s said I need to do my own nails if I want them done because they cost too much.

Mens underpants and socks cost alot also. I'd suggest that he should start learning the knit/sew his own to save money too!!!

You need to change more than your phone.

Don’t be ridiculous!

It’s none of your business. I can afford my rent, my phone contract and my nails and hair.

I haven’t yet. I have a hair appointment at the weekend and he’s trying to pressure me into going back to my natural hair colour so that I don’t have to spend on maintenance anymore

How do you think this might work if you have kids and you want to but a new cot but he wants a second hand one? Holidays?

Are you sure you're compatible?

You aren't even living together and your response of "because I want to and can afford to" isn't good enough for him.

Why are you moving out (of your parents house?) to live woth someone more stifling. You're clearly responsible and paying your way so do you really.need the hassle of your boyfriend now?

When is he actually fun?

Fucking hell. Absolutely do not move in with him. He's a controlling arsehole. It's none of his business what you spend £15 a month on. It's your money and you can afford it.

You must be able to see that it's normal to make a decision like that without checking with your partner in the first place, let alone feeling like you have to second-guess yourself to check with Mumsnet? If you can afford a new phone and you want one, the normal procedure is just to... get a new phone. There's no discussion needed.

Honestly, if your partner is behaving like this over you spending £15 a month extra of your own money on your own phone, he is going to be an absolute piece of shit to live with.

Of course it's not my business but either you just want us to say you are right and your boyfriend is wrong (and therefore worryingly controlling) or you want posters to try to help understand his reaction from his point of view, in which case, it's fair enormous GH to ask for some detail.

Ultimately, if you earn a very good income, can afford luxuries in addition to every day normal commitments, have no debts, and can manage to save, then good on you and indeed, you can afford to treat yourself as you wish.

2.5 years isn’t long if it’s working, how long until you have paid your contract off? Why not then get a sim only and save up for a new phone rather than expensive contracts

He sounds controlling

It’s not really working, is the problem. The battery is awful, the camera doesn’t work and if I lose signal at any point I have to turn my phone off and on three times to reconnect - it’s not a three issue as my mum is on three and she doesn’t have the issue!