Help me make over my weekends for 2026

[ElfinsMum]

My weekends are boring as bat poo. My week days aren't a barrel of laughs either tbf but i kind of just expect that as a working parent!

Reasons my weekends are pants:

1. We have 3 kids from 14 down to 5 and no family support.
2. About 2-3 years ago i ran out of time and energy for maintaining close friendships. I am lonely.
3. We do all of our own cleaning. I do about 80% of it. All of that is at the weekend.
4. Each of the older 2 does 3 sports. They have matches nearly every weekend. DH and i spend about half a day each per weekend driving them around. Chatting with the other parents on the side lines ranges from quite nice to polite purgatory.
5. I do 5+ loads of laundry every weekend. Normal clothes, sports clothes, bedding. Seriously, is this normal?? Is every mother in the Western World doing this every weekend? Oh and no dryer. Nice climate though.
6. The younger 2 kids bicker a lot. I can't stand it. They love it and each other, it's sport for them.
7. I do a full supermarket shop every weekend because we shop in Aldi to save money. Often i drive to a sports pitch somewhere, watch a bit then take the youngest off to the nearest Aldi, do weekly shop and head back for pick up.
8. We are trying to cut out UPFs where possible. Every weekend i make at least one loaf in the breadmaker, bake a cake for the week. Sometimes something for us to heat up during the week e.g. soup.
9. We have a family feast tradition on a Saturday night. I cook usually a roast and a pudding.

10. DH has a hobby that takes up one long afternoon every weekend in summer. 11. I have a hobby that i take the youngest and me to do for half a day per weekend. However, since having kids i lead the activity for the kids. So basically a responsible part time volunteer job on top of my real job. 12. We have one combined kitchen living room. The two younger kids watch quite a lot of TV on weekend afternoons which i am sick of hearing tbh. I wish Steve Backshall the safest of travels but if he could just take his melodrama somewhere other than my living room i'd be so grateful.

Sorry that was long. In summary, it is getting me down that i work outside the home all week and then work inside the home all weekend. I feel more like a facilitator than a person with my own life. I basically never get to choose how i spend any time.

How do others organise their weekends better?

Sympathy! Your weekends sound like mine used to when my kids were all at home. It is hard. You are doing a lot to give your kids a good and healthy life. What I wish I'd done, was getting them more involved in doing things around the house. Mine did cook the evening meal on a sort of rota. Maybe this would be a good skill for you to encourage in yours. Best of luck.

Wash everyday and use crease release. Dry school trousers on radiators - not perfect but good enough. Frees up weekend.

Online food shop, Asda/Tesco. Buy a delivery pass and get more than one shop per week.

Slow Cooker alternative on a Saturday.

Bleach in bathrooms every night before bed.

The sports are a nightmare and seem hellish in the cold wet weather. I sit in the car now whilst they’re at training and do things like the online shop. Same for games - I wait for the game to start before I get out.

I have sympathy, we’re still v much in the trenches too.

I do a wash every day. AND 5 effing loads on the weekend. 1 x towels, 2 x bedding, 2 x clothes including 2-3 kits.

What would you like your weekends to look like? Let’s start there.

Oh and thank you so much for the sympathy. Definitely helps to quell the rage!!

Some quick ideas that sprang to mind when I read your post that would make a big difference...

Step back from leading the activity. Youve done your bit, perhaps its time for another mum to step up so you can step back and take a breath. Also, doing an activity with a child while lovely, is not really YOU time. Find something else you can do ALL ON YOUR OWN. Even if thats a weekly cup of tea / glass of champagne and cake at a coffee shop, or trip to the cinema orwhatever but do it on your own. You sound like youre racing towards burnout and you need to step away and just centre yourself again. Also, like someone upstream said already, get the kids contributing to chores. There are lots of small things that they can do that will make a difference...folding laundry, sweeping floors, making beds, tidying rooms etc etc.

Aside from that I must confess that I love the sound of your busy, crazy life - it sounds like a lot of fun and filled with noise and love.... sometimes we overlook that when we're in the thick of it but it sounds like theres a lot there xx

@JetFlight I would like to have time to go out for a coffee by myself to read The Economist. My dear Dad pays a small fortune for my subscription and i would hate him to know how many go in the bin unopened...

....That's just reminded me: my dad used to take his Economist into the bath and lock the door. That's 80s parenting right there isn't it?!! Mind you my SAHM was literally ALWAYS there to look after us so....

I would also like private space and time at home to learn the piano (take that Steve bloody Backshall) and work on getting to basic fluency in French preferably before our next holiday there.

I would recommend a lot more delegation

If you can afford a weekly cleaner then get one
Buy a drier. As kids get older then they do their own washing, so does husband.
Make cooking easier through more make ahead recipes if you want to do it, get a takeaway. Nobody will die through upf, buy the bread.
Get the shopping delivered online
Disappear off for a few hours to yourself

I can’t really understand all the clothes washing. Does nothing get worn twice ever? I have 4 kids and they do a lot of sport but we still only do a few washes a week.

We don’t do much cleaning either. We clean things that are dirty. We don’t clean for the sake of it. That’s a waste of time and can lead to resentment.

I do a parkrun every week. The younger kids hang out with whichever of the older kids isn’t running (this happens a lot as usually the older kids have matches they are resting up for).

We sign kids up for sports only after having fully considered the impact those sports will have on the rest of the family, in terms of being able to go away for the weekend and whether training / matched are likely to fit in with everyone else’s lives.

I do a hobby at least once a week, purely to ensure I’m chatting to people outwith my work or family. My husband has something he does once a week too. It’s really important to ensure you don’t end up being ‘just parents’. One day your kids will leave home and you still need to have a live to lead then.

Oh and get a washer drier. Life changing.

@Shoxfordian We have had a cleaner at times. I used to drive myself to tears tidying the house so the poor woman could actually clean it. No amount of bossing could make any of the rest of my family feel a fraction as responsible for this as i did.

Again is this normal? Is every mum in the Western world lucky enough to have a cleaner up til 11 the night before desperately shovelling stuff into drawers??

Ours are a little less stressful but feel similar here's what I do (may help, may not hah) Also work FT out of the home! 2 kids aged 9 and 5 and no family support.

Once a Month each DH and I get together with friends, separately but this could be with the smalls in the park, or a girls night out or just a lunch and coffee somewhere. can be form 1 hour - to a whole evening but it is prioritised for each of us.

We do all our own cleaning but bathrooms are done midweek (2 bathrooms, 1 has an evening each) and vacuuming is also only done upstairs once a week on another weeknight (usually while 5 is in the bath) DH works from home and vacuums downstairs daily (thanks to having 2 cats) Also do a 'closing shift' on the kitchen and lounge every night.

Ours does Saturday morning training and Sunday morning swim lessons - in the same places thankfully so we actually get a nice coffee and cake together while the training happens and take turns to do the swim lesson duty to give the other a lie in.

We do a wash load a day, every day, sometimes 2 (washer on am, go to work, come home hang out and then another load in if needed) this seems to ease up on the backlog through the weekend. Kids are responsible for putting away after it's folded and on their beds (even the 5 year old) and if it's not in a basket it doesn't get washed.

Ours bicker too - I've learnt that as long as its not harming them to leave them to it.

I was doing a big Lidl shop on a weekend, but I now do this one a Thursday night after work, its open until 10 round here and only a 10 min drive away so DH will do bedtime and I'll go shopping.

I bake a cake and granola bars every Sunday afternoon, then also cookies or gingerbread men get 5 involved and he now knows how to make most wit barely takes any time at all.

My Dh plays golf, he will often try to do this on a Friday afternoon rather than a weekend day, but if it falls that way I get the kids out for a family swim or something in the garden - outside for the win!

We too have an open plan downstairs and it's a bloody nightmare!

so yeah, not much different to yours - and we don't spend much alone time together but hoping it'll pass and we will miss these days when they're gone!

Hmm very interesting @Solentsolo Makes me think i may be right that my kids are piling clothes into the laundry purely because they can't be arsed to put them away...

Also if your hobby is referenced in your user name then snap with my DH!

A Flylady type cleaning routine makes a massive difference. 10/15 mins morning and evening and a load of laundry an day and you don't really need to do a blitz clean at the weekend. An Eufy robovac is a life changer!

Do you need to stay for the sports? I often used the time to go for a run.

Forgive me, but youre beginning to sound like you kind of enjoy being the martyr / the put upon mother who 'does it all'. Running the kids activity, cleaning before the cleaner arrives, being in tears over it etc etc.
If you want a more relaxed life then do it. The cleaner is there to clean. Its supposed to make your life easier, not harder. Relax your standards a bit - no need to have homebaked bread and cakes every week....maybe once a month as a treat is fabulous enough.

Your whole OP states all of the housework and life admin you’re doing, where is your husband in all of this?

why isn’t he sharing the load of washing, food shopping, cooking etc?

You need to start sharing the load more also I would be setting the children more chores. They are more than capable of taking all of their dirty sports kit and putting it in the machine and then hanging it out. You say that no one else will do anything around the house…they soon will if you make it clear that there will be no clean kit for their next match unless they do it. Same deal with your husband, if he isn’t going to step up and do his fair share tell him the alternative is that he pays someone else to do it. Stop being a martyr and doing everything yourself.

Can you team up with other parents from their clubs and trade off weekends. You don’t need to be there for absolutely every match that they play. If you can get one weekend a month where you’re not going and another parent is taking them that will make a difference.

Batch cooking is your friend. Once a month put a few hours on a Sunday aside. Make up a big chilli con carne, bolognese, curry, soup etc and freeze portions. They can all easily be served with rice, pasta, jacket potato’s, naan breads etc to make for easy evenings where you’re not cooking for ages.

Make time for yourself. I know it’s hard to put yourself first but make it clear to everyone when discussing the weekend plans that on Sunday morning Mum will be out from 10-12 having some time to herself.

It’s controversial but tv’s in kids room so they csn watch thier shows in there in peace on the saturday? might save your sanity a bit.

@Lobelia123 yep from a long line of martyr mums. Sorry i do try and control it.

But seriously you actually have to clear before the cleaner can clean no? Left to themselves our surfaces are covered in crap. DH does the kitchen nightly but beyond that and the bathroom every surface and floor is uncleanable as standard. We are messy.

Your life sounds like mine, I also wash every day during the week as well as the many loads/cleaning/taxi at weekends. Unfortunately, I have talented kids of the sporty and musical variety. I always said the second it stops being fun, we stop but the pair of them continue to win trophies and be really bloody good at things.
I will watch DD sing for the 5th time in a week on Friday morning, those bells have jingled enough for me already and we still have two weeks to go.

I have stepped back from being a volunteer leader, other parents took the piss too many times.

DD will be off to Uni soon, so the constant cooking and cleaning may drop a bit but may also be replaced with much bigger life stresses from quite a distance. The person who invents quick drying hoodies can have all my money.

I have tried with a cleaner, with hobbies, and I once attempted friends and a bit of a life. It barely works and I end up being more stressed by deadlines or tidying up for them coming.

My non-negotiable is the gym. I get to go as it stops me from killing my family.

I look forward to it just being two people again in the house so much.

(This has been written with a large dose of tongue in cheek before you vipers come for me. I realise how lucky I am, but god its hard at times and we as mums need to be kinder to each other. Now where are the Christmas Jumpers??)

Flylady has a "hotspot" system.

Identify the dumping grounds in your home and spend 5 mins before bed clearing them. That way a big tidy up is never needed.

Yes I completely get that.

If the kids wont clear up or tidy up, then you have to make them. Disciplining children is just as much a part of raising them as is taking them to sports and after school activities.

I dont mean to be hard on you, you are no doubt a fabulous mum and the centre of the home and rightly so . But sometimes a little selfishness is a good thing!

@chipsticksmammy Thank you. Good perspective that it will all be over too soon. I know i will miss all this. I know i will.

Just do it. Check DH is around if you need him to be and put on your coat and leave.

Find a local coffee shop.

Nobody will give you permission to go, you just have to put your shoes on, shout goodbye and go. Switch your phone off and have a cuppa.

Its the only way I have found.

Oh and yes to other parents taking the piss. If i had a penny for every time someone says "i'd love to help but i'm just so smashed"...

Start delegating things as of now.

No one else in your house does anything because they know they don’t have to.

Get a whiteboard/chalkboard and every day each person has their chores to complete. Your children are more than capable of emptying/loading the dishwasher or washing machine, taking out bins, hoovering etc.

If they don’t complete you turn off wifi, take away consoles, say you won’t take them to clubs, they won’t get pocket money.

If you don’t want to be doing it all, don’t.