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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School absence rules are super powering the spread of flu

259 replies

Pavementworrier · 09/12/2025 19:17

And people will die unnecessarily as a result and it's really annoying

Why the hell can't there be a rule that kids with flu or suspected flu (at least during peak flu season) don't have absences counted??

OP posts:
Oklowkay · 10/12/2025 23:59

SleepingStandingUp · 10/12/2025 23:32

I mean, it's your choice to raise your kids like that
personally ill keep putting their needs first. they need to be home if they're ill, and sometimes I have to decide that's even when they think they feel well enough at 8 am. you're entitled to use yours to make a poin the head teacher is most definitely not getting

Where have I said they go to school when they feel unwell? Where?

I DID say it causes my child significant anxiety to miss school, because of a practice the school themselves have championed. So even if he does feel unwell, I promise you he feels a damn sight worse at the thought of staying off. Where am I not putting my child's needs first?

The school have said attendance is the priority, and are punishing children for not going in. I am simply playing by their rules.

Rickmcsheasbeard · 11/12/2025 00:02

Schools are hotbeds for viral transmission. I think it’s insane that kids that are contagious with things like flu and covid are encouraged to spread it. 1,000 kids per week (on average) get long covid in England (ONS). Flu spreads fast. It’s awful how much additional pressure is put on healthcare, the economy, the workforce, education because of these insane policies.

PaisleyGilmourStreet · 11/12/2025 00:07

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 10/12/2025 23:26

I'm sorry that it's affecting your daughter's confidence. Please know that her teacher almost certainly feels awful about it. I felt incredibly guilty leaving my English classes due to sickness, especially just before their exams - the guilt was awful on top of everyone else, and only one or two of my colleagues knew it was because I'd just been diagnosed with a brain tumour; never mind the students and their parents.

Attendance obsession absolutely is applied to teachers, so I don't for a second think there are teachers going off for weeks at a time without a genuine reason.

That's a devastating diagnosis to receive. I very much hope your treatment/recovery are going well 🤍❤️💚

The situation with the teacher in question is that she is due to retire in the new year. It's just unfortunate timing for my daughter, because she's an outstanding teacher who has frankly reached the end of her tether. I wish teachers were given better preventative support for things like stress, and that funding were available to allow full time cover staff on the payroll.

My observation about attendance (for both pupils and teachers) is entirely inapplicable to those with serious illness; I took it for granted that would be taken as read. The idea that you felt guilt in your situation is upsetting, and I apologise if I offended you. I was talking about minor illness (which I understand accounts for the majority of absence. As well as instances like term time holidays).

Imnotready2030 · 11/12/2025 00:22

My DD ( 12 ) has just spent 5 days in hospital with influenza A 2 weeks after she had 5 days off school for Covid. The flu knocked her white blood cells out leaving her nuetropenic but again pressure on attendance she decided she wanted to go back with the rule from DR she wore a face mask until Nuetrophils were at least 0.6.
went back and had spoke to school 3 times about it and her form tutor told her she could remove her mask 🙈🙈🙈
her attendance this year has been terrible but now she will not go back the rest of the week.

OhDear111 · 11/12/2025 01:17

@LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa Who reads that rag?

Franjipanl8r · 11/12/2025 04:13

There isn’t enough fresh air in schools. Windows are tight shut in winter and not enough stale air is refreshed. This speeds up the spread and transmission of viruses massively.

Snakebite61 · 11/12/2025 06:42

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 09/12/2025 19:20

Why should flu be counted differently to anything else?

What a stupid comment.

StarsTwinklingPomanders · 11/12/2025 06:55

@Franjipanl8r obvious to some of us ,some people are more worried about a few moments of cold air..

My DD before she became ill said lots of DC were coughing and the teacher said she was cold and close the window.

Everyone should be asked to dess for the cold and ventilate as an order.

Celestialmoods · 11/12/2025 07:00

IME, it’s not the attendance rules that are the problem at the moment. Parents are sending their sick children into school because they still have more to organise before the holidays and want their children out of the way, or because they don’t want to miss out on the Christmas activities or because they don’t want to take time off work. It’s disgusting. Parents can be vey selfish when it comes to sending in sick children. I don’t believe it has anything to do with attendance rules, because there are plenty of children that are never kept off no matter how much they’re coughing over everyone else.

OhMaria2 · 11/12/2025 09:30

Hufflebuffs · 10/12/2025 07:58

Why does this sound like a criticism of schools? Why do you not think workplaces should be able to mark flu absence as sickness?

I think it’s fine the way it is anyway.

Because schools cry about attendance whilst begging parents to be sensible when their child is unwell. Resulting in parents sending in children before they're fully better,and spreading germs to all and sundry. This makes behaviour really great as you can imagine.
Another reason I'm glad not to teach anymore, being ill all of the time.

Ps its us in the infants cooking it all up. Sucking toys, picking noses, sharing dribbly play dough and sucking unifix cubes, then walking to assembly and lunch sliding our hands along the wall. Nice.
Inset days used to be at least half about sorting things out and having a bit of a scrub of the toys. Now its for listening to the head go on and on for a whole day.

LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 11/12/2025 09:32

OhDear111 · 11/12/2025 01:17

@LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa Who reads that rag?

Okay @OhDear111you are obviously on a wind-up. You win. I give up.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/12/2025 09:40

Oklowkay · 10/12/2025 23:59

Where have I said they go to school when they feel unwell? Where?

I DID say it causes my child significant anxiety to miss school, because of a practice the school themselves have championed. So even if he does feel unwell, I promise you he feels a damn sight worse at the thought of staying off. Where am I not putting my child's needs first?

The school have said attendance is the priority, and are punishing children for not going in. I am simply playing by their rules.

but you haven't made this about your kids anxiety.

you've not said Bob gets anxious about attendance so I let him go in even during the contagious period so help him. you said you don't like schools new attitude so you'll be petulant and if your kid FEEL ok you want them in spreading everything to make a point.

you're making this about you not your kid.

pssssst · 11/12/2025 09:43

Imnotready2030 · 11/12/2025 00:22

My DD ( 12 ) has just spent 5 days in hospital with influenza A 2 weeks after she had 5 days off school for Covid. The flu knocked her white blood cells out leaving her nuetropenic but again pressure on attendance she decided she wanted to go back with the rule from DR she wore a face mask until Nuetrophils were at least 0.6.
went back and had spoke to school 3 times about it and her form tutor told her she could remove her mask 🙈🙈🙈
her attendance this year has been terrible but now she will not go back the rest of the week.

That sounds horrendous your poor DD. Do you mind me asking, does she have any underlying health issues that might make infections hit her this hard?

Flowers1985 · 11/12/2025 09:52

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 10/12/2025 08:28

Where's your evidence for this? How do you know it's not -

  • parents who work and cant take emergency time off easily, or for other reasons send their visibly ill kids into school even when they should be off
  • children who have the flu but seem fine, or parents think it's just a cold
I don't know of any school attendance policy that says parents have to send kids in with flu. And everyone I know just does what's best for their kids, what are the school going to actually do if you tell them they're too ill to come in?

They fine you if you have more than 5 days off?

Legomania · 11/12/2025 09:54

Flowers1985 · 11/12/2025 09:52

They fine you if you have more than 5 days off?

Not for illness...

Oklowkay · 11/12/2025 10:02

SleepingStandingUp · 11/12/2025 09:40

but you haven't made this about your kids anxiety.

you've not said Bob gets anxious about attendance so I let him go in even during the contagious period so help him. you said you don't like schools new attitude so you'll be petulant and if your kid FEEL ok you want them in spreading everything to make a point.

you're making this about you not your kid.

That's exactly what this is about - I've said that. Can Did you read the comments?

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 11/12/2025 10:18

Oklowkay · 10/12/2025 18:00

My DC's school have half termly attendance assemblies and name all children who have 100% attendance and reward with certificates. All the other children are made to clap and cheer them. It's a whole big deal. At the end of the year, those children with 100% have a whole assembly where they sit on the stage, get a certificate, get vouchers, and then have the afternoon 'off' to have party food and watch TV. Again, all the other children are made to clap and praise them, and then they go off to their normal lessons.

Tell me that isn't punishing children for taking time off school for the sin of being unwell.

Until the day when that practice is stopped I will send my child in with pretty much everything short of diptheria, if they themselves are feeling well enough to go. That includes chicken pox D&V, COVID and flu. My secret hope is that they puke on the headteacher themselves.

Those rewards are pointless in primary school when it's the parents who decide whether they go in or not.
My kids are in unless covered in blood, projectile vomiting, unconscious, an A&E/emergency GP visit required or unable to get out of bed and stand. Another kid in DS's class only has to fart and gets a day off. Fortunately our school doesn't do those types of rewards.

DonicaLewinsky · 11/12/2025 10:21

Yeah they're just awful. Way to make the kids who can't have good attendance due to health and/or familial factors feel shit.

Accaron · 11/12/2025 10:42

SleepingStandingUp · 10/12/2025 09:34

exactly.

my child won't get an attendance certificate/ prize because he had an operation in September so literally missed the first day back. His surgical reviews, it's an hour each way so if it's say 2pm he didn't get his afternoon mark. and then we've just had 11.5 school days off for his latest operation.

why is your kids flu to be treated differently to my kids operations?

if they're ill, keep them home. if they don't get their 200% certificate, that's life. they normally get a book or bag of sweets etc. youngest two always get it. I but eldest whatever his classmates get. he's not ill on purpose

It is terrible for any school to be offering rewards celebrating attendance. It’s not an achievement not to be ill. It’s awful for children who are sick/ hospitalised and can’t attend school without this then being made to seem like some kind of failing on their part. And, indeed, for the children with other disabilities such as autism who make up the vast majority of those with significant absences, not because they need to “try harder” - they are already making a superhuman effort above and beyond other children to attend at all because state education is structured in a way that systematically discriminates against them and makes it almost impossible for them to access education, per academic research e.g. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37810599/. Blaming the children for the utter failure of the Government to meet these children’s legal right to an education is totally unacceptable. If schools or the DfE want attendance rates to improve then perhaps they should stop discriminating against these children who make up 90% of those with significant absences and fulfil their legal duty to provide appropriate schools for them that they can attend without being traumatised.

School distress and the school attendance crisis: a story dominated by neurodivergence and unmet need - PubMed

While not a story of exclusivity relating solely to autism, School Distress is a story dominated by complex neurodivergence and a seemingly systemic failure to meet the needs of these CYP. Given the disproportionate number of disabled CYP impacted, we...

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37810599/

Accaron · 11/12/2025 10:51

FightNight · 10/12/2025 19:21

Attendance awards are absolute shit and very bad practice. That aside I don’t understand why any pupil/parent would give two hoots about their attendance. It is a metric the schools care about.

Honestly if our school tried to implement this attendance awards nonsense I’d make a formal complaint because it is quite obviously discriminatory and a breach of the Equality Act 2010.

Celestialmoods · 11/12/2025 11:01

It is terrible for any school to be offering rewards celebrating attendance. It’s not an achievement not to be ill.

If parents could be trusted to only keep their children off school when they are genuinely sick, this wouldn’t be a problem. Schools wouldn’t need to be on a mission to improve attendance but because so many parents take time off for holidays or minor sniffles or days out or duvet days, schools have no choice. It is their job to prioritise education.

Attendance awards are awful, but they exist because of parents, not schools.

Oklowkay · 11/12/2025 11:11

Celestialmoods · 11/12/2025 11:01

It is terrible for any school to be offering rewards celebrating attendance. It’s not an achievement not to be ill.

If parents could be trusted to only keep their children off school when they are genuinely sick, this wouldn’t be a problem. Schools wouldn’t need to be on a mission to improve attendance but because so many parents take time off for holidays or minor sniffles or days out or duvet days, schools have no choice. It is their job to prioritise education.

Attendance awards are awful, but they exist because of parents, not schools.

So why are the children used as pawns? That's a failure on all schools that use this method, it's unjustifiable.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/12/2025 11:19

Flowers1985 · 11/12/2025 09:52

They fine you if you have more than 5 days off?

not for illness. we've just had 10 days off straight. nad were told not to rush back

Accaron · 11/12/2025 11:21

Celestialmoods · 11/12/2025 11:01

It is terrible for any school to be offering rewards celebrating attendance. It’s not an achievement not to be ill.

If parents could be trusted to only keep their children off school when they are genuinely sick, this wouldn’t be a problem. Schools wouldn’t need to be on a mission to improve attendance but because so many parents take time off for holidays or minor sniffles or days out or duvet days, schools have no choice. It is their job to prioritise education.

Attendance awards are awful, but they exist because of parents, not schools.

The spread of viruses and bacterial infections in schools (even those which are symptomatic almost immediately so are not spreading innocently without parents being aware that they are sending in infectious children) demonstrates very clearly that the problem of parents sending sick children to school who should not be there is far more significant than overly cautious parents keeping children at home.

Various options could be implemented, such as online learning/ teams broadcast of classes so that children who are unwell can still attend in some capacity. Online schools are very successful so this is not beyond the wit of man, given that adult manage hybrid meetings etc. as a matter of course these days. Far more sensible than sending infectious children into school, particularly at secondary level. Then they infect lots more children and staff and make the problem worse. It’s completely unnecessary. Only a selfish idiot would commute on a busy train/ go to work with a stinking cold, for example, so why would we demand children do this?

Schools need to adapt and use the technology at their disposal, which is incredibly cheap and easy to implement and even very small businesses use.

Regardless, as noted above and is clear from academic research, the vast majority of low attendance rates and protracted absence results from children with neurodiversity being forced into an education system which, if one was to set out with the aim of designing hell for such children, would closely resemble the so-called state education system on offer. These children are forced into an environment which it is KNOWN IN ADVANCE they will never be able to cope with or learn properly in and is entirely inappropriate for them.

Teachers and Local Authorities and the Government then express faux surprise when entirely predictably these children end up traumatised and have low attendance rates or are unable to attend at all.

Nationally, over 90% of recorded absence is the result of the above. Yet still no appropriate state educational provision at all is made for these children, and the system deliberately forces them to spend most of their waking life in an environment that’s traumatising for them until they become unable to access any education at all - a systemic and deliberate refusal to meet their legal right to education, which we’d be scathing of a developing country denying to a specific cohort of children. Yet apparently in the UK this is acceptable, the child/ parents should be shamed/ threatened and allegedly this will fix the issue. Gaslighting nonsense and disproved by a great deal of robust academic research, if you care to look.

So if one is rational, one would suggest that if schools or the DfE are concerned about attendance, rather than teaching children that presenteeism is important to learn for adult life (no successful business with talented staff will agree with you) and that it’s ok for children to infect their peers and this will be rewarded and celebrated, so that the school can engage in futile attempts to bump up its absence rates when actually causing more illness and more absence and validating the stance of the irresponsible parents who will even send in their child with a vomiting bug, perhaps it might serve schools, Local Authorities and the DfE well to stop coercing children and bullying parents and address the actual problem underlying the vast, vast majority of their overall attendance rate problem: that they have set up virtually NO state schools whatsoever that are appropriate for the tens of thousands of neurodiverse children who cannot and will never be able to function in a class size of 30 with noise and disruptive behaviour all day long. If they’re also bright and academic they will have more chance of an appropriate state education by going to live on the moon.

Hello large grey animal with excessively sized ears! We see you, and one day the teachers and DfE may also acknowledge your existence.

Celestialmoods · 11/12/2025 12:25

Oklowkay · 11/12/2025 11:11

So why are the children used as pawns? That's a failure on all schools that use this method, it's unjustifiable.

I don’t know, like I said, I don’t like attendance awards. But it is a fact that poor attendance reduces successful educational outcomes, and that means there is pressure from the top on schools to improve attendance rates. Children are used because it’s about them, and it is the only thing that might make parents think twice when deciding to book a cheap holiday or have a lazy day off.

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