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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Arsey grandparents in the queue

72 replies

Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 15:57

I am expecting to get my arse handed to me but anyway.
Went to Childs Christmas show- I work shifts so had to dash there after swapping with a colleague. There were a few people queuing (maybe 10?) and about 4 people ahead was a good friend of mine so I went and said hi. Later another friend arrived with her crying baby in a pram, it was raining for context. I said just jump in here and get inside as baby was cold.
some grandparents behind us starting going ‘Eugh another pusher in’ etc etc. I said sorry you go ahead then but everyone will get a seat easily and she’s got a small baby?
I think I’m just grumpy as I’ve dashed from work to watch my child. They’ve had their kids I know they want to see their grandkids but if it was me (and I know my parents would) I’d let the mums and dads sit closer so they can see. As it was they were front and centre anyway so don’t know why they were moaning.
for context the child’s parents had been the day before so they aren’t the main carers.

OP posts:
LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 09/12/2025 16:06

You jumped the queue and then helped someone else jump the queue. You were rude, not them. A similar thing happened to me last week waiting to get in the school for dgs1's nativity. A pile of younger people jumped in front because they were friends. There was a couple with a small baby in front of me. They didn't push ahead because their baby was snug in a pram. I didn't tell the group of younger people they were rude although they were. And I'm only emphasising they were younger because you made a point of emphasising they were grandparents. The point is there's a queue for a reason.

Tdcp · 09/12/2025 16:06

You jumped the queue then so did your friend.

EINSEINSNULL · 09/12/2025 16:06

Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:04

Not to diminish them but personally I would allow parents nearer the front when I’m a grandparent.

Show quote history

Come back when you're a grandparent.

gamerchick · 09/12/2025 16:07

Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:04

Not to diminish them but personally I would allow parents nearer the front when I’m a grandparent.

Show quote history

You can be sure, when my grandbaby is doing this stuff, I'll be where he can see me.

Original poster
Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:08

Ok thanks guys I get it.

OP posts:
GivenUpNowAgain · 09/12/2025 16:08

Even if the school caretaker had bought a ticket and was in the queue, you don’t get to push in in front of him.

And being a nurse is irrelevant. I am a doctor working shifts, it does not mean I get to push in.

you sound really, really annoying with all that sanctimonious nonsense about allowing parents in at the front.

latetothefisting · 09/12/2025 16:09

What do you think the point of queues are, exactly?

Following your own logic, if it doesnt matter what order everyone goes in because theres only a few seconds difference, there was no benefit to your friend with the baby being a few places in front! It's not like you saved her from waiting in the cold for hours, she probably got inside 30 seconds earlier than if she'd joined the back of the queue.

Presuming small baby was in a pram with appropriate waterproof covering it was probably a lot warmer and drier than
everyone standing in the rain anyway...

TaupeRaven · 09/12/2025 16:09

I can't imagine having such a sense of entitlement that I think I get to be the arbiter of who deserves to be further forward in the queue, irrespective of how early they arrived. They were first - you don't get to decide they're less important and therefore not deserving of their place.

TheMorgenmuffel · 09/12/2025 16:11

I think they had every right to be 'arsy'. Its not ok to push in and call others over to do the same, even if you think you matter more.

JohnTheRevelator · 09/12/2025 16:12

TheVengaBusIsComingMyBusPassIsForthcoming · 09/12/2025 16:00

Despite showing up earlier than you and your friend, they don't deserve the front spaces because they have had their kids?

Nah that would annoy me too. You were rude.

Making grandparents sound like second class citizens, because 'they've already had their kids'. What an attitude.

Original poster
Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:13

Please I don’t think I matter more than them. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have posted this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:14

I had a horrible day, rushed there from a crap shift to try and be preset for once and had them be really rude (justified as people say) but it upset me. I get I am not the most important person ever I’m just another mum trying to be there for her kids not a murderer.

OP posts:
Maggiethecat · 09/12/2025 16:15

OP, you were rude but to your credit, sounds you didn’t sidle in and pretend you were there all along, in front of the person behind.
I can just about cope with what you did but detest the sneaky buggers!

GivenUpNowAgain · 09/12/2025 16:15

I think the only thing more annoying than somebody pushing in, would be that person patronisingly telling me that ‘everyone will get a seat easily’!

Clefable · 09/12/2025 16:15

Honestly I found this really annoying at DD’s concert. I was there early as I wanted to get near the front so stood there in the pissing rain and cold, but people kept on jumping the queue to their friends. Luckily I am a fast walker so overtook them in the hall and had no compunctions about squeezing down the side to get where I originally should have been, but I always find it interesting when people are so disconnected from etiquette when they see people have been waiting.

Original poster
Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:16

GivenUpNowAgain · 09/12/2025 16:15

I think the only thing more annoying than somebody pushing in, would be that person patronisingly telling me that ‘everyone will get a seat easily’!

I didn’t say that at all I said ‘oh I’m sorry you go ahead then’ and moved behind them. And I asked the people behind do you mind if we stay here and they said of course. They were a bit baffled by how rudely the people spoke to us.

OP posts:
GivenUpNowAgain · 09/12/2025 16:17

Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:14

I had a horrible day, rushed there from a crap shift to try and be preset for once and had them be really rude (justified as people say) but it upset me. I get I am not the most important person ever I’m just another mum trying to be there for her kids not a murderer.

Are you normally prone to hyperbole?

Does not sound like they were ‘really rude’. They were just irritated by you pushing in. And nobody here has called you a murderer for goodness sake.

Redpeach · 09/12/2025 16:17

Was the baby shivering?

TheMorgenmuffel · 09/12/2025 16:17

Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:13

Please I don’t think I matter more than them. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have posted this.

Of course you do. You said so. Parents over grandparents.

Look, its really not a huge deal or anything, dont be so dramatic. everyone got to see the performance, nobody got hurt or died or anything, it'll just be them mentioning the cheeky queue jumping buggers to the childs parents in passing then they'll forget all about it, but they were not unreasonable to be fucked off about it in the moment because it was rude.

Original poster
Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:18

GivenUpNowAgain · 09/12/2025 16:17

Are you normally prone to hyperbole?

Does not sound like they were ‘really rude’. They were just irritated by you pushing in. And nobody here has called you a murderer for goodness sake.

Show quote history

Maybe not prone to hyperbole but probably more sensitive at the moment. Work has been horrendous and feel like I’m drowning in Christmas school admin and activities that I can’t keep up with.

OP posts:
myhaggisblewup · 09/12/2025 16:24

If the baby was cold then mum wasn't wrapping it up warm enough.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 09/12/2025 16:33

Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:18

Maybe not prone to hyperbole but probably more sensitive at the moment. Work has been horrendous and feel like I’m drowning in Christmas school admin and activities that I can’t keep up with.

Show quote history

Probably much like every other parent there that you jumped ahead of.

Ocularpatdown · 09/12/2025 16:34

Im surprised you didn't pull the "Im a key worker" line due to your super important nursing job. Family member works in retail and still gets this nonsense years after the pandemic

Original poster
Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:56

Ocularpatdown · 09/12/2025 16:34

Im surprised you didn't pull the "Im a key worker" line due to your super important nursing job. Family member works in retail and still gets this nonsense years after the pandemic

No I didn’t and have never said that I’m just trying to give some context.

OP posts:
yorkshiretoffee · 09/12/2025 16:58

Hungryhippos123 · 09/12/2025 16:13

Please I don’t think I matter more than them. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have posted this.

Good for you for not doubling down, I hope you enjoyed the performance.

On reflection, I'm thinking I might let a crying baby in in front of me - just to make sure they weren't sitting anywhere near me!