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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone seen woman arrested for saying f****t in a private text message?

410 replies

Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 11:12

This is completely bizarre. The news is thin on the ground so to see it I would have to link the mail or other obscure sites; but they are talking about this on Sky News abroad so assume it’s legit.

Apparently woman was arrested by 10 officers and dragged naked from a bath tub because she called a person who hospitalised her from assault a faggot in a message ranting to a supposed friend who reported her for using that word.

What is going on in this country?!

Yes sure that’s unpleasant. But is that really illegal? And if she has been hospitalised by this person then do I really care if someone uses bad words - even if they are hateful.

YABU - that’s a perfectly appropriate use of the law
YANBU - WTF is going on in this country!

OP posts:
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OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 16:51

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 16:45

Wow so saying we should just tolerate hate speech now.

Yes.

That's what living in a free society is.

Sometimes, it's hearing speech you dislike or even hate. No one has melted from hearing a word or words that they disliked.

"Hate speech" is arbitrary. Just because one person finds it hateful doesn't mean another will.

What if the person speaking didn't mean their speech in a hateful manner but was joking or it was taken the wrong way-should that speech be criminalised?

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 16:52

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 16:51

Yes.

That's what living in a free society is.

Sometimes, it's hearing speech you dislike or even hate. No one has melted from hearing a word or words that they disliked.

"Hate speech" is arbitrary. Just because one person finds it hateful doesn't mean another will.

What if the person speaking didn't mean their speech in a hateful manner but was joking or it was taken the wrong way-should that speech be criminalised?

My son has melted, many young teens growing up with such slurs end up with severe MH problems.

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 16:58

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 16:52

My son has melted, many young teens growing up with such slurs end up with severe MH problems.

Edited

As sad as that is, none of that justifies criminalising someone for speech.

Many of us have been bullied growing up. It sucks and it can stay with you a long time. However, I wouldn't want one of my bullies placed in jail just because they called me words I didn't like or that stuck with me.

Young teens can also end up with severe MH problems when they're coddled by their parents or because of other factors, too. Oftentimes, it's hard to pin MH problems down specifically to one cause.

It's not reasonable or sane to expect everyone who uses words you dislike to be arrested and criminally punished for it.

Or else, where does it end?

If I hear a word I dislike, am I allowed to label it hate speech and get the person arrested for it?

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 17:00

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 16:58

As sad as that is, none of that justifies criminalising someone for speech.

Many of us have been bullied growing up. It sucks and it can stay with you a long time. However, I wouldn't want one of my bullies placed in jail just because they called me words I didn't like or that stuck with me.

Young teens can also end up with severe MH problems when they're coddled by their parents or because of other factors, too. Oftentimes, it's hard to pin MH problems down specifically to one cause.

It's not reasonable or sane to expect everyone who uses words you dislike to be arrested and criminally punished for it.

Or else, where does it end?

If I hear a word I dislike, am I allowed to label it hate speech and get the person arrested for it?

Yes it does , it causes harm. Not wanting your son to endure homophobic slurs at school is not coddling.

The perpetrators were expelled and rightly so.

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 17:01

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 16:58

As sad as that is, none of that justifies criminalising someone for speech.

Many of us have been bullied growing up. It sucks and it can stay with you a long time. However, I wouldn't want one of my bullies placed in jail just because they called me words I didn't like or that stuck with me.

Young teens can also end up with severe MH problems when they're coddled by their parents or because of other factors, too. Oftentimes, it's hard to pin MH problems down specifically to one cause.

It's not reasonable or sane to expect everyone who uses words you dislike to be arrested and criminally punished for it.

Or else, where does it end?

If I hear a word I dislike, am I allowed to label it hate speech and get the person arrested for it?

They aren’t just words I dislike, they’re socially unacceptable .

Dollymylove · 09/12/2025 17:02

Im sure glad that the person who reported the text isnt a friend of mine !!

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:04

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 17:00

Yes it does , it causes harm. Not wanting your son to endure homophobic slurs at school is not coddling.

The perpetrators were expelled and rightly so.

Yes, I agree, bullies should be expelled or suspended, depending on the severity.

However, I disagree with criminalising people for saying words that "cause harm." Define harm. Define distress. These are arbitrary, subjective terms that mean different things to different people and thus, should be impossible to police.

Expecting adults to be arrested for saying words you find offensive is ludicrous. If offence is the measure on which we decide criminality-then crimes are subjective, aren't they and speech is no longer free.

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:05

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 17:01

They aren’t just words I dislike, they’re socially unacceptable .

Yes, they are socially unacceptable, sure, I have already said I accept that premise.

Socially unacceptable should not equal criminal, though. Do you want everyone who says a socially unacceptable word to be imprisoned? How big do you think our prisons are?

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:07

Dollymylove · 09/12/2025 17:02

Im sure glad that the person who reported the text isnt a friend of mine !!

Me, too.

Seems like she was just vindictive and looking for an opportunity to hurt her "friend."

It's a horrible story, not least because the police didn't just laugh the friend out of the station and took it seriously. No wonder the respect for the police is tanking.

singmoon · 09/12/2025 17:07

Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 11:17

If you know something I don’t please share as this is bewildering.

I would wait until I had concrete information before rushing to be outraged

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 17:08

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:05

Yes, they are socially unacceptable, sure, I have already said I accept that premise.

Socially unacceptable should not equal criminal, though. Do you want everyone who says a socially unacceptable word to be imprisoned? How big do you think our prisons are?

Mot talking about prison.Many criminal activities don’t end in prison.

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 17:09

Dollymylove · 09/12/2025 17:02

Im sure glad that the person who reported the text isnt a friend of mine !!

Why, do you use homophobic language and want to be free to use it?

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:11

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 17:08

Mot talking about prison.Many criminal activities don’t end in prison.

Why do you think speech you don't like should be criminalised?

Do you think we're all a nation of babies who need to be taken care of by the police, lest we hear something that "causes distress?"

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 17:12

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:11

Why do you think speech you don't like should be criminalised?

Do you think we're all a nation of babies who need to be taken care of by the police, lest we hear something that "causes distress?"

It’s not Speech I don’t like , it’s hate speech .

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:12

singmoon · 09/12/2025 17:07

I would wait until I had concrete information before rushing to be outraged

Do you think it's reasonable to arrest something for a word said in private text message?

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:12

PlasticTr33s · 09/12/2025 17:12

It’s not Speech I don’t like , it’s hate speech .

Define hate.

Heyhelga · 09/12/2025 17:13

It's getting to the point now where the government/police should just issue a list of words you are now no longer allowed to use in text form because at the moment they seem to just be making law and order up as they go along.

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 17:14

Dollymylove · 09/12/2025 17:02

Im sure glad that the person who reported the text isnt a friend of mine !!

It wasn’t one text. The reports make that clear.

Blizzardofleaves · 09/12/2025 17:15

Given how subjective this word is in some parts of the country, I would be amazed if the police charged her on the grounds of homophobia. That is, rightly, a very high bar.
Depending on the quantity and content of the other messages as to whether this will pass the threshold for malicious communications.

I feared this new legislation would be misused, as it is so open to interpretation. It doesn’t sit well with freedom of speech. The definition will need to be tightened in time.

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:17

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 17:14

It wasn’t one text. The reports make that clear.

So?

Do you like living in a society where the police will knock on your door because you sent some texts?

Don't you think the police have and should have better things to be doing?

singmoon · 09/12/2025 17:17

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:12

Do you think it's reasonable to arrest something for a word said in private text message?

Did that happen, I'd like to see full information from a reputable source?

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 17:18

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:12

Do you think it's reasonable to arrest something for a word said in private text message?

So someone texts you ‘Olive is a vacuous bitch’. They do it repeatedly. They do it at 3 in the morning. You block their number. They use other numbers. They continue to text you. They start texting the same thing to your partner. Your parents. Your children. Do you not police that at all? If so at what point? Under what law?

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:21

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 17:18

So someone texts you ‘Olive is a vacuous bitch’. They do it repeatedly. They do it at 3 in the morning. You block their number. They use other numbers. They continue to text you. They start texting the same thing to your partner. Your parents. Your children. Do you not police that at all? If so at what point? Under what law?

Again-that would constitute stalking and harassment.

Not what this was, but I suspect you know that.

There's a difference between wanting to police actual crimes i.e., stalking and harassment, and wanting to police actual words just because someone found them offensive, get it?

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 17:24

OliveBranch22 · 09/12/2025 17:21

Again-that would constitute stalking and harassment.

Not what this was, but I suspect you know that.

There's a difference between wanting to police actual crimes i.e., stalking and harassment, and wanting to police actual words just because someone found them offensive, get it?

At what point? They’re just words. The prosecution’s case here was that Kinney sent abusive and homophobic texts. Which she admitted. Why are you so committed to allowing the unfettered sending of abuse to women?

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