Adult ADHD? Not sure if it's just me being me?

[DrawerofMystery]

I’m starting to wonder if I might have ADHD — I’m bad at spotting things or filtering information, and I have hyper-focus days and slow-brain days
For those of you with ADHD, what does it look like in your day-to-day life?

I’m trying to work out if it’s worth getting assessed, so any experiences would be really appreciated 🙂

Some struggles I notice:
Noticing/finding things: I can’t spot things right in front of me, and reading a departure board can take ages
Orientation & memory: I forget neighbours faces, directions, and where I parked
Fluctuating functioning: Some days I’m hyper-focused with racing thoughts; other days everything feels foggy and my speech suffers
Attention: I zone out in conversations or tasks and freeze if someone talks to me while I’m on the phone
Executive function / organisation: Starting tasks is hard, then I hyperfocus and do everything at once. Big admin jobs overwhelm me, and my space gets messy quickly. I lose stuff if I tidy up
Other odd ones: New systems, tech, and machines confuse me, and I get disoriented easily.

Not sure if this is ADHD or just me being me 😅
Does this sound familiar to anyone with ADHD?

If you were to get assessed what do you think would change? Would it help improve things or would you just know you have ADHD?

It helped me just to understand why I do what I do... even though I am not on meds or anything.

OP, some of it is familiar.

In addition for me- feeling emotionally overwhelmed easily. And being asked to buy a pint of milk on my way home from work, and usually having to set an alarm to remind me as I always forget.

i was diagnosed last year and its made me more understnding why i do things/react etc even tho i am on medication which helps me a lot
getting the diagnosis made everything make sense after 47 years of masking which went to shit due to peri

You sound a lot like me and I'm pretty sure I have it. I don't have a formal diagnosis, so I realise that's not a super helpful observation, but I've come to the same conclusion about myself as you have - the characteristics just seem to fit.

I was diagnosed as an adult and it has helped me be more accepting of myself and understand myself better.

For me the trigger was my son being assessed and realising that all the things I thought were normal, aren’t!

@Coconutter24 I don't expect my struggles to magically go away or anything, but at least I'll feel better knowing that it's not me being lazy:) I've suffered from chronic low self confidence so it'd help a lot (assuming it's actually ADHD though!)

@YourZippyHare may I ask you which ones you found familiar? 😲
I forget things if they are not visible😭 So I usually put them out on the table so I won't forget to take them with me next morning etc

@chipsandpeas Thanks for sharing your experience re diagnosis and medication!
I do wonder whether I've been masking and that's why I don't show many of the typical ADHD symptoms 🤔

@ruethewhirl oh we seem to be in the similar situation then😭 Have you ever thought about getting diagnosed or take a screening call or anything? NHS diagnosis takes too long and private ones are too expensive, so I'm thinking about trying online screening calls or something to see if there's a chance I actually have ADHD

@HelpMySocksAreTouchingMe That's exactly what I need from getting assessed

Do you also have some of the struggles I listed? What were the things you thought normal which turned out weren't? :)

Object permanence is a massive problem for people with Adhd - we have open shelving throughout the house as otherwise none of can remember that any of our stuff exists! My oldest 'forgot about the living room' when the door was closed and that made me wonder about him tbh!!

I think understanding your behaviour and strategising based on the things you know you struggle with can be hugely helpful with or without a diagnosis.

I’m not implying you think your struggles will disappear, I just wondered what you hoped to gain from a potential diagnosis. I see so many adults go after a diagnosis and I always wondered why.

@DysmalRadius Oh my goodness!😲 Well, actually, I do completely forget about some things at times. Like if my husband puts something away in a cupboard for me… it’s like it doesn’t even exist for me 😅

Yes I'm trying to understand my nature and deal with it, but part of me also wants to know whether ADHD is involved so I might be able to understand myself better:)

I think part of it is acceptance. I've spent so long thinking that I should just be able to do things like other people, and that if I was just better organised/tidier/less forgetful then I would be a proper adult. Understanding that some of these things are actually symptoms of a disordered dopamine relationship makes it a lot easier to identify potentially helpful strategies rather than beating mysrlf up for simply not being Good Enough.

Likewise, it's helped me recognise my strengths and understand how to maximise them, and sometimes even how to use them to cancel out some of my weaknesses.

It's like the difference between using my Notes app and a word processor. I can get most of the same stuff done in both, but the word processor has loads of shortcuts and useful features that make it a lot easier to get the desired result. If you have to reinvent the wheel a lot, you make slow frustrating progress, whereas if you can understand your brain, you can access loads of tools to accentuate the strengths and minimise the weaknesses.

That makes sense, thank you for explaining

I haven't been assessed (but DS is on a waiting list and he's my mini me) and I certainly find ADHD friendly strategies help me considerably more than the usual standard "advice". Just accepting that it's a possibility has eased the mental pressure of not trying hard enough and wondering why some things are either bloody hard or cock up.

I was laughed at (in a good natured way) earlier about my 5 musically themed alarms to get out of the house in the morning. Apparently this is unusual.

I've found that there's two types of people; the ones that think podcasts of guided cleans telling you how to do housework (C25k style) are absolute genius or those who wonder why the fuck you'd ever need the bleeding obvious explained to you. It's not that I don't know how to clean a kitchen, but the constant micro-decisions and staying focused are such a slog.

When I think of the absolute clangers and cock-up moments in life, they are pretty ADHD-esque in character.

Anything I read about late diagnosed women reads like someone's been stalking me for years.

I don't know if there's much practical benefit to me getting diagnosed, but just being open to that possibility is positive and eases that discomfort at never quite slotting right socially.
And it doesn't mean I give up and make excuses, it means I can work smarter and be kinder to myself.

Overwhelmed in large social gatherings, or mass information or sitting to listen. I feel like I’m going to panic attack and I want to leave. Have no idea where anything is. I have to use a diary and Google calendar, DH does life admin and kids.

Yet I’ve got a PhD !

How old are you @DrawerofMystery ?

Could peri menopause / menopause account for some of the things?

As I only recently noticed the possibility of having ADHD, I haven't tried much of ADHD-friendly strategies. I'd quite like to look into them to see if it makes a difference

5 musically themed alarms sounds like a brilliant idea! I'm such a worrier so I'm always too early than late though.

For me, I just need to know whether I have something like ADHD or not so I don't have to keep wondering (I've been in this hyper-focus mode past few days and can't stop thinking and searching information about ADHD😅). I think if I actually have it, it also helps with my self-esteem.

It's the same here, DH does everything around the house😅

@HelpMeUnpickThis I'm 35 and a mother of a baby. I don't think I'm nearing menopause yet🤔 Also I've had the struggles throughout my life so it's not like it's recently started

I have mixed adhd (mainly inattentive).

I spent years thinking I was lazy because unless I there were consequences for not doing things I’d literally just feel frozen to the spot and couldn’t function. EG I could get up and go to work because if I didn’t I’d lose my job. But if I had days off to catch up on stuff at home I would literally freeze and sit getting more and more anxious about the fact I had a million things to do but literally couldn’t get on with it.

I also have RSD and emotional dysregulation. I just thought I was an over sensitive soft arse.

I also suffered with PMDD which is really common for women with adhd.

I feel sad that I have literally hated myself for most of my life and have faced so much criticism off other people for the things they think I should or shouldn’t have been doing.

loads of things that you’d never think as well , binge eating, impulse buying, time blindness… the list goes on.

I accept myself now. I’m on medication which really does help.

Now you mentioned RSD, I'm sure I have that too...I always thought I've just been suffering from social anxiety, but I think the root cause for that is RSD.
Another thing that might also be ADHD related is that I don't feel like going out unless absolutely necessary or I plan it ahead well (check weather, prepare outfit, check everything ahead). Weirdly enough, it becomes easier to go out once more in a few days time once I actually made it to go out. It's easier once there's a rhysm too, so if I go out twice a week than once in a while.

I was just about to ask this, the description in the OP is me all over, now.

I never used to be like this, its really disabling, I used to be sharp as a tack and be able to do things really easily and now I feel like my brains fallen out my head.

I have a theory that its easier for society to put that down to late diagnosed ND than menopause stuff because theres still quite a lack of finesse about treatement for menopause symptoms and its a dismissal of womens issues again

Thats not to say that all late diagnosed women fall into that category but I think many do.

Yep, me too! Mine though is definitely being more revealed due to perimenopause 😂.

Right to Choose!!! @DrawerofMystery go through NHS Right to Choose, it's quicker but if still a free NHS pathway. Google it.

I'm going for diagnosis because I want to stop blaming myself for being shit at everything. I want to belong. @Coconutter24 I totally understand why you'd ask about diagnosis, but it's actually really important to some of us. I've felt "lacking" my whole life, and if I have ADHD confirmed (my brain needs it to be "confirmed", that's part of my ADHD) then it won't necessarily help the issues in life, but it will give me a sense of self worth that I lack. It's an odd thing but is very much wrapped up in having ADHD (& Autism in my case).