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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that moving overseas to escape your problems is daft

127 replies

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 10:37

Because overseas will just have new problems (compounded by people thinking you're an annoying foreigner)

OP posts:
Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:01

Justlostmybagel · 08/12/2025 11:00

Normal everyday healthcare though...vastly superior. In my experience, anyway.

You've accessed healthcare in "most of the rest of Europe" then?

In many parts of Europe you don't get anything at all beyond the basics unless you pay through the nose.

OP posts:
EvelynBeatrice · 08/12/2025 11:02

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 10:56

That's definitely not true... UK remains one of the best places to be if you need access to cutting edge medicine through trials etc (for now anyway, certainly wouldn't hurt if we started boosting that more).

Really? Why are our death rates for most cancers etc worse in the U.K.? I’m afraid I don’t agree with you.

Maddy70 · 08/12/2025 11:03

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 10:46

The BEST thing? That's kind of sad.

Why ? my life improved tremendously in almost every way sorry you can't see beyond your bubble

magicalmadmadamim · 08/12/2025 11:05

Oh FFS
Not another moving abroad one!
I for one am much happier living the sunnier side of europe (we still get cold winters)
5 years now and never looked back
Why does mumsnet think that the U.K (more specifically London) is the centre of the universe?
And for those saying they prefer the warmer climate, i'm sure there will be plenty of people along to tell you how wonderful it is to snuggle with a hot chocolate, all year round 🙄
Also, European healthcare IS far superior to the U.K (get over it).

sickleaveornot · 08/12/2025 11:06

I did, absolutely best decision I ever made

Justlostmybagel · 08/12/2025 11:06

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:01

You've accessed healthcare in "most of the rest of Europe" then?

In many parts of Europe you don't get anything at all beyond the basics unless you pay through the nose.

I've accessed healthcare in multiple European countries. All have been better. But as I said, that is just my experience.

I'm very happy with my decision to move abroad though.

winterbluess · 08/12/2025 11:09

You sound like you've got some serious jealousy issues op 🤣

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:10

EvelynBeatrice · 08/12/2025 11:02

Really? Why are our death rates for most cancers etc worse in the U.K.? I’m afraid I don’t agree with you.

You don't agree because you're lucky enough not to need those cutting edge treatments (yet) 👍🏻

The UK population is very unhealthy indeed which doesn't help (maybe being less unhealthy is a problem one can reasonably escape overseas)

OP posts:
cgpcbtm · 08/12/2025 11:12

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:01

You've accessed healthcare in "most of the rest of Europe" then?

In many parts of Europe you don't get anything at all beyond the basics unless you pay through the nose.

Which parts of Europe are you referring to where you "don't get anything at all beyond the basics unless you pay through the nose"?

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:13

winterbluess · 08/12/2025 11:09

You sound like you've got some serious jealousy issues op 🤣

I could live overseas if I wanted to, I'm a professional woman married to another professional with no dependents. I find the moving abroad to dodge taxes and reality mentality really nasty tbh. Why don't people want to contribute to making things better?

i know that's not every migrant but it's plenty.

OP posts:
Reification · 08/12/2025 11:14

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 08/12/2025 10:40

It depends on the problem. If I was being chased by an ostrich then moving abroad might be the best solution.

This is wonderfully random:)

IBorAlevels · 08/12/2025 11:15

I don't know. I think there were several times in my life where I could have moved abroad and I do still often think how my life would be if I had. The first time was in my mid 20's and I could have invested in a flat in a place that has now gone through the roof property price wise. The second I was offered a job in a country earning double what I could at home but came back for my then partner, who almost immediately cheated, teaching me a valuable lesson. Third was around Brexit and tbh I still think I should have gone. I had a whole life plan set up but sadly the only family member I have left vetoed it as they said they would never visit and my kids would grow up without any family at all. Given they've been as much use as a chocolate teapot over the last 10 years I regret my choice to pander to their manipulation.

cgpcbtm · 08/12/2025 11:16

It depends which problems you are talking about. I moved abroad nearly 20 years ago.
Some of my problems were solved by the move and some weren't.
When you move abroad you are still the same person so I still have problems with stress and anxiety.

If people are moving abroad to avoid high taxes etc, they really need to do their research to find out whether the place they are going to is going to be an improvement or not. The same applies to things like wanting to access a better school system or better healthcare.

winterbluess · 08/12/2025 11:16

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:13

I could live overseas if I wanted to, I'm a professional woman married to another professional with no dependents. I find the moving abroad to dodge taxes and reality mentality really nasty tbh. Why don't people want to contribute to making things better?

i know that's not every migrant but it's plenty.

Edited

Because there are too many people sucking the life out of this countries finances. Maybe people that work hard would like to enjoy the rewards of that in a country that is doing better? Why is that an issue for you?? Maybe they just want to live somewhere with nicer weather, none of that is your business really.

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:16

IBorAlevels · 08/12/2025 11:15

I don't know. I think there were several times in my life where I could have moved abroad and I do still often think how my life would be if I had. The first time was in my mid 20's and I could have invested in a flat in a place that has now gone through the roof property price wise. The second I was offered a job in a country earning double what I could at home but came back for my then partner, who almost immediately cheated, teaching me a valuable lesson. Third was around Brexit and tbh I still think I should have gone. I had a whole life plan set up but sadly the only family member I have left vetoed it as they said they would never visit and my kids would grow up without any family at all. Given they've been as much use as a chocolate teapot over the last 10 years I regret my choice to pander to their manipulation.

That is annoying. I mean it's not too late to try (albeit Brexit makes things harder for many).

OP posts:
Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:17

winterbluess · 08/12/2025 11:16

Because there are too many people sucking the life out of this countries finances. Maybe people that work hard would like to enjoy the rewards of that in a country that is doing better? Why is that an issue for you?? Maybe they just want to live somewhere with nicer weather, none of that is your business really.

I just think you sound a bit fascistic (and naive about how different "this countries"(sic) dynamics differ from anywhere else)

OP posts:
Justlostmybagel · 08/12/2025 11:17

As you say, it's definitely not that everyone, who moves abroad, is doing so to dodge taxes so I'm not sure why you're so judgemental of people's choices here.

IjustbelieveinMe · 08/12/2025 11:17

In the words of someone intelligent- everywhere you go there you are.

TheNightingalesStarling · 08/12/2025 11:19

It really comes down to research vs blindly believe that everything will be better.

Every country has pros and cons. Like there's massive parts of the US whete the lifestyle is healthier. But there's less employment rights and health care is patchy. (Plus the "big" issues like womans rights, gun laws etc).

IBorAlevels · 08/12/2025 11:19

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:16

That is annoying. I mean it's not too late to try (albeit Brexit makes things harder for many).

It is too late age-wise for the things I wanted to do, Visa restrictions and the career path. Now my kids are in secondary too, so far too disruptive. Lots of lessons learned and I think for the kids too, about not letting other people sway you. Maybe I will retire somewhere else, who knows.

winterbluess · 08/12/2025 11:20

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:17

I just think you sound a bit fascistic (and naive about how different "this countries"(sic) dynamics differ from anywhere else)

😴😴

incognitomummy · 08/12/2025 11:20

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 10:56

That's definitely not true... UK remains one of the best places to be if you need access to cutting edge medicine through trials etc (for now anyway, certainly wouldn't hurt if we started boosting that more).

But most people don’t need medical trials!!!

for many people moving overseas with a job and medical insurance, or a local social medical system, will mean they have access to far better healthcare than the U.K. at least in my experience (& my wider family experience) of living in more than 5 countries outside the U.K, not limited to EU countries.

Brits who have never left the UK like to think the health care system is superior to others . And for many it may well be but for many it is not.
yes NHS is free at point of access but getting access is an issue. Getting a referral on to the right person is also an issue.
GPs are a great concept but they cannot know everything and the UK GP who believes they are a god is a significant barrier to access. Also a GP with a workload that is too big is also a barrier to access.

medical professionals IME overseas are often much better at partnering with their patients to work out solutions together. Whereas in the U.K. quite frankly many doctors - regardless of age - seem to think they know best. And perhaps that is what the NHS wants them to be like but in the modern era I’m not sure it is the most efficient way forward.

In many countries IF I have recurrent tonsillitis I wil have been seen by my local ENT doc since the start. I would not have gone to the GP for treatment. This means that ENT, who is a specialist, can quite quickly identify an issue and recommend a solution. Whereas in the U.K. you just get fobbed off “no we cannot give you antibiotics, it is “just” tonsillitis. Oh sorry you have had a written warning from work about the amount of time off with this throat but computer says no to antibiotics. Oh well if you insist in making a complaint ok we will give you them now. Oh wow tonsillitis is banished by this wonder medicine. WHO knew that would happen etc etc”

the NHS is broken. And making people sicker. Look at the number of people in their 50s 60s and 70s on waiting lists for knees and hips. Getting worse and worse. Costing the country more through lost sick days, or even other adults giving up work to be carers and the patient needing more treatment for other issues as a result of that bad untreated joint .
off they pop to Lithuania for a private op, or paid for by the NHS, and receive superior after care and suddenly they realise how shit the NHS is at this run of the mill normal stuff. A relative came back from Lithuania after a knee operation and was back on their feet with very little issues after because they stayed for a week and had amazing after care. Care that is just not provided in the UK but leads to a much better outcome. For example In the UK often physio is not started for months yet immediate aftercare could achieve so much. Yet overseas you would also get cryotherapy and hydrotherapy as well as proper physio (ie with a physical trainer in a gym , plus massage - not just an admin bod explaining the proposed exercise programme)

and don’t get me started on the access to mental health support for kids. In my area CAMHS is closed to new cases and has been for 2 years. Yet overseas I would get access to a psychotherapist, psychiatrist, psychologist and / or other therapies if my kids needed them.

incognitomummy · 08/12/2025 11:23

EvelynBeatrice · 08/12/2025 11:02

Really? Why are our death rates for most cancers etc worse in the U.K.? I’m afraid I don’t agree with you.

Yes. This. Why?!

RainbowBagels · 08/12/2025 11:26

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 10:46

Ime the problem is "this country is going to the dogs/I'm sick of paying taxes/etc".

If your problem is that you cant get a job in this country because the economy is going to the dogs then moving abroad will probably solve your problems.

Reification · 08/12/2025 11:26

Pavementworrier · 08/12/2025 11:13

I could live overseas if I wanted to, I'm a professional woman married to another professional with no dependents. I find the moving abroad to dodge taxes and reality mentality really nasty tbh. Why don't people want to contribute to making things better?

i know that's not every migrant but it's plenty.

Edited

I don't think those people who bluster that they're going to move abroad because of taxes in the UK often actually go through with it. It's one of those baseless threats a certain type of people have always made, but it's just a metaphorical form of impotent foot stamping and fist shaking for the most part.

Those who do move abroad to dodge taxes go to somewhere like Dubai or in the past certain US states, or certain countries in SE Asia and return to the UK when their luck turns or they get old, usually with their hands out waiting to be looked after, and in complete denial about their own hypocrisy...

Plenty of EU countries have higher taxes than the UK once you actually include all the compulsory deductions from gross pay - they're just itemised separately so it's easy for people who haven't lived in the country/ looked into it properly and in depth to misunderstand (or if it's for the purpose of rabble rousing or foot stamping deliberately misrepresent) the genuine like for like costs.