Does anyone have weekends like this anymore?

[Ranoutofideasfortheelves]

Friday night, got in, made chilli and nachos, fire on, throws on, pjs on, dh, me, dd (7) and ddog on the sofa watching films
Saturday, Dd did colouring in the morning, had pancakes, then her friend came to play, then she went to theirs for a few hours. I watched xmas films and sewed a top, Dh messed about on his computer.
I made lasagna and Dd came home, we had a dance to Christmas music then watched Home alone and bed.
Today we took ddog out to the woods, dd did clay, we made chocolate Christmas tree biscuits and played with her elves, played in the garden on the trampoline with the elves, had a roast, bath, fire, stories & bed.

Just been looking at Instagram etc and so many posts of visits to cities, girls nights out, santa spectacular shows, Lapland, London visits etc and just feeling a bit 😬
We will do a few Christmas outings for sure, but don’t seem half as busy (or wealthy)as lots of people. I remember lots of weekends as a kid being slow, but I was perfectly happy. We definitely do a lot more with Dd than I did as a kid, but do most of you do these kind of outings most weekends? Is Dd missing out?

I don't think that follows at all. Do you read the first post genuinely as a description of a weekend the OP is worried about? It reads like a careful description of a delightful weekend made to post on social media (which Mumsnet is of course).

If you think OP sounds like she actually thinks her weekend is sub-optimal then your reading comprehension is way off tbh.

I'm slightly amused that some people seem to be offended by the OP's description of her weekend.

OP, some people will aspire to have the SM weekend but will be unable to achieve it for many reasons.

Some people will aspire to have a weekend like yours and be equally unable to achieve that.

Personally, I don't care if you're feeling a bit smug and humblebraggy. My weekends looked much like yours when I was in my 30s/early 40s and my childen were younger and lived at home. I had no desire for the alternative.

My weekends looked much like yours when I was in my 30s/early 40s and my childen were younger and lived at home. I had no desire for the alternative.

Yes mine are very much like this now - did you feel the need to pretend you thought they were rubbish though? That's what's annoyed people, not the description of the weekend.

I agree, as per my post just before you, all the things @Ranoutofideasfortheelves has listed are Instagramable material - pancakes, dog walk (where I presume there is something scenic to photo), dancing to music, cosy evening watching a film, with feet up sewing, DH able to do his own thing as DD is happily playing with elves or whatever.

I don't know whether it was intended as a 'my weekend is better than yours' or if it is a genuine am I missing out - and as I pointed out the things she lists on seeing people do are all adult related such as cocktails and Xmas dos, therefore I wonder if she felt lonely despite being able to describe this homely environment and that it is she who worries she hasn't got friends to go out and do all these other things.

Exactly. Many families don’t have the time or the resources for all these ersatz cosy activities at home. I’m working around the clock to keep my job and keep the lights on and I found this post to be pretty smug and tactless.

This is a perfect weekend just like I was brought up on, now 87 years old, still healthy and happy and I have great memories of the past be it wartime.

But surely that’s the point some of us are making!

If you really are insecure that you’re not doing enough with your family at weekends you don’t post something replete with Enid Blyton-like details of your wonderfully idyllic life and then round it off with with a wide-eyed: “what am I doing wrong?”

Don’t compare your life to those who fund their’s with credit cards.

Stayed in all day Saturday and DC helped decorate Christmas tree...cleaning and tidying too. Tiny bit of DIY. Cooking.

Then Sunday out at a sports match for my two youngest. Took all day being out. Was glad of the fresh air!

No. It doesn't mean I didn't sometimes wonder if I was doing enough though. My childen are both adults now and I'm early 50s and so 'the alternative' is a lot more prevalent on SM now than it was and, even then, it was there. Just less 'performative'.

And so what if the OP does think her version of weekend family life is superior? We all do what we think is right/better otherwise we'd be doing something else too.

I also find the “everyone does so much” refrain to be quite judgy and tasteless.

People often have to “do so much” because they are working multiple jobs to pay the bills so they have to cram everything into weekends.

Your perfect weekend is fine OP. Enjoy it with your family but stop with the stealth judgement of people who don’t have the luxury of living a life out of a picture book.

My weekend was spent in Innsbruck with DH becase we have plenty of money and no kids. And yes that's a (not so stealth) boast.

I'm not remotely offended, I just think it's a little dishonest maybe? Why not post honestly about having a lovely weekend?
There's nothing wrong with that. It's the description of a clearly and objectively lovely weekend under the guise of 'worry' her child's missing out that's got people rolling their eyes a little.

Millions all over the country OP…..

A bit smug? Positively dripping with smugness more like!

And so what if the OP does think her version of weekend family life is superior? We all do what we think is right/better otherwise we'd be doing something else too

It's just the dishonesty that irritates people I expect. I also found the multiple posters supporting OP by criticising people for posting their perfect (and edited) weekends on SM really funny. That's exactly what OP is doing in this post.

You have no idea how people fund their lives.

Exactly. It poses as coming from a place of insecurity about not doing enough but what it’s actually seeking to do is tell people that the OP thinks her lifestyle is superior and she was trying to prompt people into responding to tell her this (which many have).

If you really are insecure you don’t paint these loving details which could have come from a family Christmas round robin or an Instagram post.

As someone who through no choice of their own has to work both weekend days at the moment I actually found it quite upsetting.

Well of course people only bother to post if they are doing something interesting, not just having a normal pleasant family weekend. Your weekend sounds completely normal and nice. Presumably sometimes you go out somewhere at the weekend too. But doing so every weekend would be exhausting.

Yes, I think there is an element of that. Why not just say we stayed home, had meals that I cooked and my daughter went out for a play date. All the extra detail is a bit suspicious! The only bit that was missing was roasting marshmallows in the fire…

anyway, I would get very bored doing that every weekend but occasionally it is lovely to have a family weekend at home.

Depends what you did last weekend and doing next

we had a chill day yesterday. Dd8 wanted that so we stayed in pjs

put up some xmas decs - played haunted castle - watched a movie - had picky lunch on sofa

but next Sunday we are out doing the stuff you say people post about.

we are seeing fc and at a farm

I worked both days, I do every week.
DH worked from home *self employed), our daughter is at university.
Me and DH took the dog out for a walk.
It was the perfect weekend for us

We have quiet weekends regularly. But I don’t post it online. When we go go out and about to a new place or a light show or something, then I take photos and sometimes post a couple on instagram.
Instagram isn’t an accurae indication of how we spend our life, it’s a highlights reel of unusual and noteworthy events, not the “normal”.

Sounds like a fairly average weekend for most families. We have plenty of weekends like this with maybe one a month where we do some kind of day out.

This is the weekend I would revisit if I could go back in time. The cosy togetherness just pottering around at home , watching a favourite film. Not the days out although they were nice.

I’m sure this core memory will be what your daughter will remember as having a secure wonderful childhood.

This is what we miss now our adult children have left home and we have lost our darling dog as well.