Does anyone have weekends like this anymore?

[Ranoutofideasfortheelves]

Friday night, got in, made chilli and nachos, fire on, throws on, pjs on, dh, me, dd (7) and ddog on the sofa watching films
Saturday, Dd did colouring in the morning, had pancakes, then her friend came to play, then she went to theirs for a few hours. I watched xmas films and sewed a top, Dh messed about on his computer.
I made lasagna and Dd came home, we had a dance to Christmas music then watched Home alone and bed.
Today we took ddog out to the woods, dd did clay, we made chocolate Christmas tree biscuits and played with her elves, played in the garden on the trampoline with the elves, had a roast, bath, fire, stories & bed.

Just been looking at Instagram etc and so many posts of visits to cities, girls nights out, santa spectacular shows, Lapland, London visits etc and just feeling a bit 😬
We will do a few Christmas outings for sure, but don’t seem half as busy (or wealthy)as lots of people. I remember lots of weekends as a kid being slow, but I was perfectly happy. We definitely do a lot more with Dd than I did as a kid, but do most of you do these kind of outings most weekends? Is Dd missing out?

Exactly!

We probably only have one weekend a month where we go out and do something and that’s only on one of the days. The other 3 weekends are just like yours.

Many of my weekends look like that. Not so much in December as we take in a lot of the free community Christmas events and do head off to Lapland each December (my annual treat!).

However the rest of the year is slow weekends, baking, reading, crafting, play parks and beach trips. We also have held the rule of no extracurriculars at weekends as it’s family time

Your weekend seems extremely wealthy to me, in happiness and contentment you can’t buy that stuff.

I agree
it’s you telling us what a perfect mother you are.

Obviously people aren’t going to Lapland every weekend as I am sure you well know. Your excessively detailed description of how cosy and amazing your own weekend was comes across equally smug and humblebraggy.

Hygge Tygge!

These are our perfect weekends but we don’t get enough of them due to the kids sports. Last two weeks all sports have been off and it was idyllic! Nothing was posted on social media.

This weekend we’ve been much busier, we’ve had fancy dress Christmas parties, dinner out etc. A few social media posts.

What I’m saying is, people will be busier at this time of year but you don’t share the mundane on social media.

I work away during the week, I yearn to spend quality time if the kind you describe @Ranoutofideasfortheelves

Normally I try to get back in time for Friday pickup, then take DS to his swimming lesson. We eat a (normally) home cooked dinner together and then wander down to the playground for a bit. Come home for a film or cartoons, then bath and bed.
Saturday starts with a lie in then bike ride and picnic, a relaxed afternoon playing with toys. Then dinner and all three of us on the sofa.
Sunday DS has art class in the morning, it is in a shopping centre so we have a look around and a coffee while DS is entertained. Then we probably stay for a pizza. We play outdoors for a bit, then homework, dinner and an early night.
Monday morning I do drop off and go off to work.

This week was a bit different because DS had flu and I had my first round of root canal work

Well we did go into London this weekend which is a bit unusual, but we live 45 mins by train away so it's not as massive a deal for us. Not a particularly expensive day out, kids travel free or cheaply with zip cards and our train fares were under a tenner return. We saw Muppets Xmas Carol at the BFI (cheaper tickets for this than our local cinema!), looked at some lights and decorations then home. Yesterday we got a xmas tree and put it up. One child helped to decorate. I didn't post on social media though!
Your weekend sounds nice. Tbh it sounds cosier and nicer than ours usually are, with everyone holed up on devices and a bit grumpy. I usually try to do parkrun or gym, and we try to eat together at least for sunday lunch, DS sometimes bakes, but it's not usually half as wholesome as yours sounds!

We had a mix of weekends when the children were little. I always preferred your kind of one though. Now they are older, my weekends are all about cosy, reading, fires, dog walks. I get lots of comments about wasting my life and letting myself go 🙄

This .
your weekend sounds lovely OP very wholesome .

Your weekend sounds amazing and now my DC are older, I can only dream of that.

My weekend consisted of 12 hours volunteering. 4 hours on Friday night and all day yesterday. Saturday was spent as a taxi driver to sports fixtures interespersed with decorating and then I went out with friends in the evening.

Cherish these weekends now. As your DC get older, going for a walk will be very low down on their list of fun. They won't all agree on the same film and someone will always want taking or picking up from somewhere.

We did all sit down for a meal yesterday evening which was nice though.

I agree. Virtue signalling. OP - you parent your way, let others parent their way.

I agree: its the painstaking list of “cosy” activities combined with the “why don’t others do this?” Its a humblebrag.

I find this tendency to lionise “family downtime” (alongside “being bored”, which is the parenting flavour of the month, very often goes with a kind of stealth boasting: look at my lovely family: we are so bonded we don’t need activities and expeditions.

Of course its fine to have a quiet weekend at home but you know this anyway don’t you? You just wanted validation from others.

Agreed

I thought you were describing a lovely weekend with lots of nice activities. I was really surprised when I got to the end and saw you were wondering if your DD was missing out!

For many what you’ve described would be the ideal weekend. For example - I’ve never wanted to go to Lapland and I don’t like venues when they get really busy over Christmas.

I dream of weekends like that!! So often we're either out and about or trying to get through the never ending list of house/garden jobs. I think it sounds perfect and I bet if you asked your DD if she had a nice weekend, the answer would be a resounding yes.

This post is very much part of the describing your aspirational parenting on social media. It sounds nice of course, that's the point of the post. We've got fires, sewing, baking, two descriptions of meals. It's obviously written to sound lovely.

If you were actually worried about not doing enough you'd have said we didn't really go out this weekend and I'm worried DD is missing out. There would be no need to describe your wholesome domestic activities and detail the food you ate.

I live near quite a lot of eateries and attractions popular with instagrammers. They queue up for ages in the drizzle. They then sit under space heaters waiting for their food. When it comes they take loads of photos and then they eat some of it. There is one place that has two branches very close to each other. One has queues up the pavement and the other branch, which is 4mins walk away, you can walk straight in. There is also a cookie shop popular with instagrammers which also sells its cookies in the cafe next door so that regular customers don't have to queue. Living for the likes looks a bit shit in reality.

Plus all the stuff about being the perfect homemaker, sewing her own clothes while her DH “messes about” on his computer. And how she has endless time to play with her child, crafting, cooking, lots of fires and blankets but now she’s apparently questioning whether she’s doing enough (despite describing a Hallmark movie). Oh and she does sneak in that “we are planning some Christmas trips”. Oh right? Like the people on instagram then basically but on a different weekend?

As I've got older - I'm now early 50s - I am much more preferring weekends at home. I don't want to go to crowded, busy places. I want peace, calm and the comfort and tranquillity of my own home. If I do want a day shopping then I would take a day off work and go in the week. I don't do things like concerts/galleries/garden centres/events/theatre/art/music/museums/cities/sight seeing .. so there is no where I want to go to at the weekend.

Anyone who thinks this is smug or a stealth boast is jealous of your lovely weekend! Your weekend sounds a lot like ours and not that uncommon (these are my favourite sorts of weekends, I love having time to potter about, do crafts with DD, and cook really nice meals).

Your weekend sounds full of peace and bliss. Our weekends are manic and I work every weekend in the evening too. 3 young kids means I'm constantly up to something at the weekend!

@Ranoutofideasfortheelves Who are you 'concerned' about missing out? In your initial post you worry your DD is missing out, but all these activities you say you see others do are for adults. I wouldn't take my children to a Christmas market as they are heaving and no one would enjoy it. Your girls Xmas do I presume is adults, not kids, and likewise the cocktails you mention.

Are you lonely? Is it other parents you see doing all these things or influencers on Instagram? Remember if it's influencers they need to post frequently, whatever it is they are doing for likes and attention, plus they are more likely to be given things for free.

I think you need to unpick what it is that is making you wonder about missing out and whether it is actually you that is sad on not doing all these things.

Your weekend actually sounds busy and if you were to photo it and post online everyone would think you have done loads e.g. a photo of pancakes for breakfast (we never do that), walking the dog, photo of child playing with their friend, video clip of dancing to music, photo of feet up sewing/watching the film. All of these things I can imagine being photographed and spun in a positive way rather than you seeing them as negative, plus makes you look really busy and hands on.