I've already posted this on the relationship board but I wanted to see if I am being unreasonable to not go to this wedding? Im feeling very conflicted at the moment and I know AIBU will be more blunt with responses.
An ex colleague asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I was shocked to be honest because although we did get on well and had afew (work) nights out, we are not particularly close. I agreed because I was taken by surprise and honestly didn't want to hurt her feelings so just said yes.
I've since found out she has 12 bridesmaids. 2 of which are other work colleagues who were also surprised to be asked for the same reasons I was. She has told us that she has no budget for bridesmaid dresses and we can all wear our own dresses. It doesnt matter what colour and she doesnt need us to match. We also wont be standing at the altar with her. Just sitting up the front. Honestly the more I hear the more I think we are not really bridesmaids at all but i was happy to go along with it. Until now.
For various reasons I really dont want to go to this wedding anymore. If I was just a guest I would send apologises and let her know I can't go. BUT Im supposedly a bridesmaid so I feel obligated to go. Even though I haven't spoken to her since October. Her wedding is in February and I still have no details - time, place etc. The other bridesmaids dont either.
How do I get out of this without upsetting her? Do I have an emergency the day of? Or let her know in advance? In which case, what do i say?