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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS and his GF set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning

129 replies

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 02:54

I’m beyond raging but I have no idea if it’s rational. DS claims they were melting chocolate in the microwave to have with some marshmallows and that it hadn’t been in for long when the smoke started coming out. It was 2am, now my 2 year old and 4 year old are both wide awake, my 13 year old was panicking and my 15 year old was woke up as well. They did handle it and open the windows, took me telling them to grab the broom to get the alarm in both the kitchen and hallway off though, as they were trying to do it on the step ladder but our ceilings are high. To make matters worse neither of them were completely dressed, his gf was in what I can only describe as lingerie and DS in his boxers so my teenage sons were also faced with that!

AIBU to be beyond raging and give them both an earful tomorrow? They are 24 and 23, she has her own place so I’m not even sure why they are staying here!!

OP posts:
ArtichokeSurprise · 05/12/2025 03:16

Young adults dressed for bed have a late-night snack and accidentally set off the smoke alarm. Fair enough to be annoyed, but unless it's a regular thing, YABU to be beyond raging.

SoMuchMore · 05/12/2025 03:21

It’s an inconvenience and a shame everyone was disturbed, but these things happen. It’s too much to be beyond raging, just tell them they need to keep a closer eye on things in future.

It would be reasonable to tell your son that his GF needs to cover up when walking around communal areas of your home.

Get some sleep. 😴

CheeseIsMyIdol · 05/12/2025 03:46

I wouldn’t be allowing dependent teens to have lovers overnight to begin with.

You’re in charge. New rule: kitchen not to be used after 11pm or before 6am.

FlockofSquirrels · 05/12/2025 03:47

CheeseIsMyIdol · 05/12/2025 03:46

I wouldn’t be allowing dependent teens to have lovers overnight to begin with.

You’re in charge. New rule: kitchen not to be used after 11pm or before 6am.

They're 24 and 23

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 03:47

CheeseIsMyIdol · 05/12/2025 03:46

I wouldn’t be allowing dependent teens to have lovers overnight to begin with.

You’re in charge. New rule: kitchen not to be used after 11pm or before 6am.

He is 24 not a dependent teen, he does pay rent and he’s been with his girlfriend for 3 years.

OP posts:
Lostsadandconfused · 05/12/2025 04:38

I don’t think the melted chocolate was intended for marshmallows.

But yes, tell them to keep the sex games for her place.

Pippa12 · 05/12/2025 04:44

Being woke in the night evokes irrational rage! None of this was intentional- midnight snack gone wrong. Go back to bed. You’ll of calmed down by tomorrow and be laughing about it by Xmas!

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 04:51

Lostsadandconfused · 05/12/2025 04:38

I don’t think the melted chocolate was intended for marshmallows.

But yes, tell them to keep the sex games for her place.

They had marshmallows out in a bowl so I’m inclined to believe their intentions were pure, if poorly executed!

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 05/12/2025 04:53

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 04:51

They had marshmallows out in a bowl so I’m inclined to believe their intentions were pure, if poorly executed!

In which case you have a funny story you can embarrass them with in av few years time.

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 05:33

I’m feeling better this morning as DS has told me to stay in bed and he will get the children ready for school and nursery as I work from home on Fridays and he feels bad.
His girlfriend has also apparently ordered us a new microwave “incase they broke it”.

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 05/12/2025 05:35

Well they sound like good kids! Enjoy the lie in and the new microwave! Mine blew up last week and bloody hell those things are spenny!

BoobsOnTheMoon · 05/12/2025 05:35

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 05:33

I’m feeling better this morning as DS has told me to stay in bed and he will get the children ready for school and nursery as I work from home on Fridays and he feels bad.
His girlfriend has also apparently ordered us a new microwave “incase they broke it”.

Just. In. Case.

I'd milk it. Tell him you need a cup of tea in bed and maybe a fry up once the kids are at school...

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 05:39

BoobsOnTheMoon · 05/12/2025 05:35

Just. In. Case.

I'd milk it. Tell him you need a cup of tea in bed and maybe a fry up once the kids are at school...

Great idea!
Nothing like a crying toddler and a 2am wake up to get your blood boiling! I feel bad for being so angry at the time but gosh fire alarms really are an ear-splitting sound, I couldn’t think straight for it and coming down the stairs to see DS on a step ladder in his boxers trying to reach the alarm was not what I expected!

OP posts:
OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 05/12/2025 05:39

It’s just a mistake? Do you often find it hard to get over things like this? Seems a massive overreaction

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 05:40

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 05/12/2025 05:39

It’s just a mistake? Do you often find it hard to get over things like this? Seems a massive overreaction

I’m over it now, in the moment I was angry as the children were all awake and I was quite overwhelmed by the commotion, now I can appreciate that it wasn’t intentional and these things happen. At least we will have a funny story from it!

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 05/12/2025 05:41

I can't believe the kids all woke to the alarm (not that indisbelieve you I am just suprised). My kids sleep through - there is evidence that the sounds don't register to them. I want your alarm because i worry in a fire they won't be alerted.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/49648867 mine are teenagers and silly didn't get woken a few months ago when ours went off.

boy asleep

'Children sleep through alarms' BBC programme finds

A BBC investigation has found that many children don't wake at the sound of an alarm.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/49648867

Cardamomandlemons · 05/12/2025 05:48

If they get married there HAS to be a chocolate fountain and marshmallows at the wedding reception.

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 05:52

Mumdiva99 · 05/12/2025 05:41

I can't believe the kids all woke to the alarm (not that indisbelieve you I am just suprised). My kids sleep through - there is evidence that the sounds don't register to them. I want your alarm because i worry in a fire they won't be alerted.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/49648867 mine are teenagers and silly didn't get woken a few months ago when ours went off.

I don’t know if we have some sonically destructive alarm but it was ear-splitting, I don’t know how anyone could ignore it and I’m almost certain it was audible from the international space station! I’ve only ever heard it during tests before and I don’t recall it being so loud. I do fear the commotion might have woke my toddler more than the alarm though as she was fine until my 13 year old started crying hysterically asking if he had time to get some stuff (probably need a fire safety refresher here)!

OP posts:
Staybymw · 05/12/2025 05:52

It happens sometimes. Not that big of a deal.

Mapletree1985 · 05/12/2025 06:08

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 02:54

I’m beyond raging but I have no idea if it’s rational. DS claims they were melting chocolate in the microwave to have with some marshmallows and that it hadn’t been in for long when the smoke started coming out. It was 2am, now my 2 year old and 4 year old are both wide awake, my 13 year old was panicking and my 15 year old was woke up as well. They did handle it and open the windows, took me telling them to grab the broom to get the alarm in both the kitchen and hallway off though, as they were trying to do it on the step ladder but our ceilings are high. To make matters worse neither of them were completely dressed, his gf was in what I can only describe as lingerie and DS in his boxers so my teenage sons were also faced with that!

AIBU to be beyond raging and give them both an earful tomorrow? They are 24 and 23, she has her own place so I’m not even sure why they are staying here!!

This kind of stuff happens sometimes. They didn't mean to do it. Forgive them.

Walkerzoo · 05/12/2025 06:08

Ohh to be young and making marshmallows and chocolate during the night......

Bloodyuber · 05/12/2025 06:10

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 05:39

Great idea!
Nothing like a crying toddler and a 2am wake up to get your blood boiling! I feel bad for being so angry at the time but gosh fire alarms really are an ear-splitting sound, I couldn’t think straight for it and coming down the stairs to see DS on a step ladder in his boxers trying to reach the alarm was not what I expected!

But surely what you expected to see was a fire?

I'd have been relieved to see DS in his boxers on a step ladder.

Enjoy the pampering they give you today to make up for it.

HopSpringsEternal · 05/12/2025 06:11

Awe it turned into a thread that shows you have a thoughtful son and girlfriend :)
Of course losing ones shit isn't great but middle of the night awakenings isn't fun.

BrokenWorldRecord · 05/12/2025 06:13

CheeseIsMyIdol · 05/12/2025 03:46

I wouldn’t be allowing dependent teens to have lovers overnight to begin with.

You’re in charge. New rule: kitchen not to be used after 11pm or before 6am.

They are 24 and 23. I think most of the population is having sex at that age.

Nevernonono · 05/12/2025 06:14

CheeseIsMyIdol · 05/12/2025 03:46

I wouldn’t be allowing dependent teens to have lovers overnight to begin with.

You’re in charge. New rule: kitchen not to be used after 11pm or before 6am.

Not only does that not have anything to do with the OPs question, you’ve not even got the details correct.

Calm down with the horror that young people have sex lives.

OP, you’re being OTT in my opinion, it was a mistake, if that’s the only issues he causes living at home, I’d be cross as I was tired, but let it go.