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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS and his GF set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning

129 replies

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 02:54

I’m beyond raging but I have no idea if it’s rational. DS claims they were melting chocolate in the microwave to have with some marshmallows and that it hadn’t been in for long when the smoke started coming out. It was 2am, now my 2 year old and 4 year old are both wide awake, my 13 year old was panicking and my 15 year old was woke up as well. They did handle it and open the windows, took me telling them to grab the broom to get the alarm in both the kitchen and hallway off though, as they were trying to do it on the step ladder but our ceilings are high. To make matters worse neither of them were completely dressed, his gf was in what I can only describe as lingerie and DS in his boxers so my teenage sons were also faced with that!

AIBU to be beyond raging and give them both an earful tomorrow? They are 24 and 23, she has her own place so I’m not even sure why they are staying here!!

OP posts:
KarmenPQZ · 05/12/2025 10:11

Fire alarms are designed and very heavily tested to invoke a fight or flight reaction in every human especially if you’re asleep so I don’t blame you at all.

hope you have a lovely chilled day today to recover.

RealReginaPhalange · 05/12/2025 10:12

Lostsadandconfused · 05/12/2025 04:38

I don’t think the melted chocolate was intended for marshmallows.

But yes, tell them to keep the sex games for her place.

I am dying😂😂😂

Teenmumgoingcrazy · 05/12/2025 10:12

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 02:54

I’m beyond raging but I have no idea if it’s rational. DS claims they were melting chocolate in the microwave to have with some marshmallows and that it hadn’t been in for long when the smoke started coming out. It was 2am, now my 2 year old and 4 year old are both wide awake, my 13 year old was panicking and my 15 year old was woke up as well. They did handle it and open the windows, took me telling them to grab the broom to get the alarm in both the kitchen and hallway off though, as they were trying to do it on the step ladder but our ceilings are high. To make matters worse neither of them were completely dressed, his gf was in what I can only describe as lingerie and DS in his boxers so my teenage sons were also faced with that!

AIBU to be beyond raging and give them both an earful tomorrow? They are 24 and 23, she has her own place so I’m not even sure why they are staying here!!

i think beyond raging is extreme, irritated yes but thats about it. My take away from this is that thankfully your children actually woke up from the smoke alarm and emerged from their rooms. I recently watched an online post by the fire service about smoke alarms going off and children either sleeping through them, or waking up but not knowing what to do and staying in their rooms. Take it as a good test, they all woke up and it wasnt an emergency ;-)

BeautifulSongsofLove · 05/12/2025 10:14

YANBU 💐

LoveWine123 · 05/12/2025 10:14

Jees, lighten up a bit…so they stuffed up, big deal. It’s not like they did it on purpose. You are way over the top.

Ddakji · 05/12/2025 10:15

LoveWine123 · 05/12/2025 10:14

Jees, lighten up a bit…so they stuffed up, big deal. It’s not like they did it on purpose. You are way over the top.

Jeez, read all the OP’s posts.

Timebudda · 05/12/2025 10:17

At least you know the smoke alarms work.

What's with all the im rageing post today every one I read seems to be normal people stuff.

Lemonysnickety · 05/12/2025 10:20

Set up the stocks in your sitting room and if they don’t get it then, ring the hangman and set up gallows on the back garden or maybe the firing squad in the front garden against the house so your other kids have a long term permanent reminder that mistakes will be dealt with efficiently to ensure they never happen again.

Or at least certainly ban post coital midnight snacks entirely.

Or take some time to reset and get some sleep because personally I think you are grumpy and overreacting to a small mistake.

LoveWine123 · 05/12/2025 10:27

Ddakji · 05/12/2025 10:15

Jeez, read all the OP’s posts.

Show quote history

I have?

Bruisername · 05/12/2025 10:30

All these posts telling OP she over reacted are themselves over reacting

she posted at 3am after being awoken to what she thought was an emergency and then had to deal with toddlers who were probably frightened and took ages to get back to sleep. When she posted this morning she was calmer and had put it in perspective.

Being woken by a smoke alarm sets the adrenaline pumping and then there’s that relief that it isn’t a fire but you have to stop the noise which is purposefully made to make you feel you need to get away from it!

Kpo58 · 05/12/2025 10:31

Chocolate is really easy to burn in the microwave. They need to learn how to melt it on the hob.

On the plus side, at least you know that the fire alarms work and can take the Mick out of them for ages.

singmoon · 05/12/2025 10:31

ArtichokeSurprise · 05/12/2025 03:16

Young adults dressed for bed have a late-night snack and accidentally set off the smoke alarm. Fair enough to be annoyed, but unless it's a regular thing, YABU to be beyond raging.

Exactly this

Muffinmam · 05/12/2025 10:39

Why are you allowing adults to play house when you have very young children?

Where is your children’s father in all this??

Ddakji · 05/12/2025 10:41

Muffinmam · 05/12/2025 10:39

Why are you allowing adults to play house when you have very young children?

Where is your children’s father in all this??

What on earth does that matter???

justpassmethemouse · 05/12/2025 10:46

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 05/12/2025 05:39

It’s just a mistake? Do you often find it hard to get over things like this? Seems a massive overreaction

The fix seems like an overreaction too. Buying a whole new microwave from just burning some marshmallows?

SparkleSpriteDust · 05/12/2025 10:47

Muffinmam · 05/12/2025 10:39

Why are you allowing adults to play house when you have very young children?

Where is your children’s father in all this??

Because they ARE adults!

And what does it matter where their father is?!

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/12/2025 10:49

Clipclack · 05/12/2025 05:33

I’m feeling better this morning as DS has told me to stay in bed and he will get the children ready for school and nursery as I work from home on Fridays and he feels bad.
His girlfriend has also apparently ordered us a new microwave “incase they broke it”.

They sound like lovely people.

”Raging”, huge over-reaction.

BillieWiper · 05/12/2025 10:51

CheeseIsMyIdol · 05/12/2025 03:46

I wouldn’t be allowing dependent teens to have lovers overnight to begin with.

You’re in charge. New rule: kitchen not to be used after 11pm or before 6am.

They're in their mid 20s.

LlynTegid · 05/12/2025 10:54

I'm glad to read that your DS accepts the impact and is seeking to make some amends.

Raging is an overreaction, especially for a one-off. I hope it is just a poor choice of language.

I agree about non-use of the kitchen overnight, not solely because of the fire alarm.

BashfulClam · 05/12/2025 10:58

Octavia64 · 05/12/2025 06:44

I have a very ear splitting fire alarm as well.

very sensitive as well unfortunately. My DD is in the habit of taking showers at 2am and the steam often sets it off.

she apologises.

Mine goes off if my toast is one shade too dark!

AmyDudley · 05/12/2025 10:59

Muffinmam · 05/12/2025 10:39

Why are you allowing adults to play house when you have very young children?

Where is your children’s father in all this??

What on earth has it got to do with you where the children's father is? And what do you mean by 'all this'? Being a family, having a life ?

Judgemental much.

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/12/2025 11:03

LlynTegid · 05/12/2025 10:54

I'm glad to read that your DS accepts the impact and is seeking to make some amends.

Raging is an overreaction, especially for a one-off. I hope it is just a poor choice of language.

I agree about non-use of the kitchen overnight, not solely because of the fire alarm.

You can’t ban someone who is paying rent from using the kitchen.

K0OLA1D · 05/12/2025 11:06

Muffinmam · 05/12/2025 10:39

Why are you allowing adults to play house when you have very young children?

Where is your children’s father in all this??

What the hell.

You'll be wondering in a few years why your DC have gone no contact..

DysmalRadius · 05/12/2025 11:07

Bruisername · 05/12/2025 10:30

All these posts telling OP she over reacted are themselves over reacting

she posted at 3am after being awoken to what she thought was an emergency and then had to deal with toddlers who were probably frightened and took ages to get back to sleep. When she posted this morning she was calmer and had put it in perspective.

Being woken by a smoke alarm sets the adrenaline pumping and then there’s that relief that it isn’t a fire but you have to stop the noise which is purposefully made to make you feel you need to get away from it!

As Martin Crane said in Frasier 'It would have been less upsetting to wake up on fire!'.

Chiconbelge · 05/12/2025 11:09

Just think of the longevity and comedy value of this story - you can tell it against him for the next 40 years minimum and I guarantee you the whole family will fall about laughing - even him eventually after he’s spent the next 10 years cringing. Let’s imagine that when you are in your nineties and he comes to visit you can both laugh and laugh about it. When I look back at these moments I can never actually remember the rage. What I do know is that every time I found some grace for the perpetrators they treasured it in their apparently ungrateful little hearts.