To be annoyed DH is tracking his sister's pregnancy

[lizzidripping]

I am due to give birth in January. DH keeps forgetting the due date and doesn't know what week of the pregnancy I'm on.

His sister is due to give birth a few months later and he's put a weekly event in mine and his shared calendar.

This is our second pregnancy but does it mean you should be this level of checked out
.. I can guarantee you he doesn't even know what day of the week ours even falls on to put this pregnancy in a calendar.

When I was pregnant with our first his sister barely paid any attention and I think visited DD maybe 3 times ever since she's been born (she is now nearly 3).

Relevant backstory - when we dated and got married DH'a sister was always a bit rude and difficult with me. Examples include letting herself in to our home with a spare key she had and refusing to give it back, stripping down to her underwear in front of people at our wedding (she wasn't drunk), inviting herself over and then not showing up without saying anything, crying at family events that she pressured DH and I to host (ie. in our home) and making a scene in general. For the record, I am always polite and kind and don't rise to the drama.

AIBU to feel annoyed DH is putting this much importance on his sister's pregnancy?8

Your dh does sound overinvested in his sister's pregnancy....

Yes, this would really annoy me

Weird. Sounds like she's a massive attention seeker and he feeds into it.

Erm sorry - letting herself in your house with a spare key?! Please say you’ve removed the key from her?

She sounds like an attention seeker and clearly it’s working, I understand family and all of that but my DH’s sister is currently pregnant - I’m not but I would find it weird even now if he was tracking it. It’s all well and good to be excited and happy of course but…

The fact he doesn’t know your due date would speak volumes to me, I don’t care if it’s your 7th child - yours AND his pregnancy should be a priority. Plus it doesn’t help with our pregnancy hormones!

Have you spoken to him about it?

YANBU - that’s weird AF. Reminds me of an episode of Friends.

She sounds like a lunatic and their relationship sounds weird 🤷‍♀️

I would question if he is genuinely interested or is he doing it to make you feel bad in ‘look at how much I care about my sister and not you’ sort of underhand way.

How did your H react to the behaviour of his sister that you describe?

Tbh she sounds jealous of you and their relationship doesn't sound a healthy one.

Omg yes! Was it Danny and his sister who said she was a tickle monster and ran him baths 😂

You have three issues here:

1. I barely knew what week I was on, with my one and only pregnancy. Second pregnancies are not as exciting to anybody. The due date is not sacred.

2. Your odd SIL.

3. Your DH's relationship with his sister.

Replying back to the Friends reference - his sister and him do not seem to be otherwise close (we've been married 6 years). And they don't see or speak to each other much at all. The frequency has definitely decreased over the time we've been married. I have always felt DH over shares our life to her but he/we know very little about hers. @OrangeSequin @Youdontseehow

FIL died about 8 years before DH and I met and DH sort of took on the looking after his family role in the sense that MIL and SIL would get together at his - I have always wondered whether SIL (not MIL ever who is very nice) felt I disrupted that for them.

@OrangeSequin initially DH felt uncomfortable with a potential confrontation with SIL about the key but eventually did get it off her

That is very bizarre. Hope you have called him out on it and asked him to explain his reasoning. How on earth can he justify it, especially given her previous behaviour and her lack of interest in your older child.
Your post reads like you have been conditioned to accept rude and disrespectful behaviour not only from his sister but also your husband.
Please take a long hard look at the whole situation. Something is definitely off.

DH otherwise seems OK about the second pregnancy ie. Making sure he is available to watch DD while I have my appointments etc (I'm a SAHM and she hasn't yet started nursery)

If the key isn’t back I suggest dh retrieves it immediately or change the locks. How whacky and zany of her to strip at your wedding and create drama in your home. Perhaps she needs some consequences?
Tell dh your due date and suggest that he sets some reminders because he seems rather uninterested in your pregnancy. DO NOT enter into some weird “pick me” dance with his sister it sounds exactly what she wants and depressing for you.
Plan something both you and dh can look forward to, today, this week and this month. It’s corny but a very good way of resetting your feelings.

He's only just done the calendar in the last half hour and is currently feeding DD her dinner (he is off work as I have the flu). Once DD is in bed I'll speak to him about it.

He is generally kind and considerate as a husband.

However some of our worst arguments in our relationship stem from how I feel about his sister or her behaviour who he is always initially very defensive about. Part of the reason why I made the thread is that I am conscious of how anything to do with his sister annoys me (because of the way she's behaved in the past) and so I wondered whether a more unbiased audience would have replied with something like "he's just taking an interest" or "it's really no big deal" etc

I’d say given your SILs dramatics he’s covering his back in case she asks and then loses her shit if he doesn’t have the details.
also to say, have you asked him??

Sorry I didn't quite follow - asked him what?

Definitely weird..
And the sil sounds a real problem

SIL has definitely calmed down a lot in more recent times. She still makes me nervous about what she might do/how she might behave but it's definitely more normal interactions than not.

As a person I think she might actually be nice (she has lots of friends and a very active social life) but for whatever reason she's not a fan of me and so I have experienced her ugly side a lot.

That was my thought too.
Maybe using some sort of link/app she's sent him?

Sorry, I wasn’t clear, I mean if they discuss her pregnancy, she’s sounds very precious like she’d expect him to know all of the dates if she asked him

I doubt it because she isn't really like that with him. As in she doesn't divulge anything about her life to him ever. She didn't even tell him she was pregnant. MIL told us when she was 13 weeks.

It would be out of character for her to expect DH to know anything about her. I feel like he's very shut out from her life. Whether that's intentional or if that's how they've always been isn't clear. I get the impression DH really wants more of a relationship with her.

Just concentrate on your own family and let her buzz along in the background. She sounds a total pain in the arse but you aren’t going to change her so all you can do is be happy despite her rather tedious nonsense.

It does seem odd. Just ask him wh

It’s up to him if he wants to track her pregnancy, but if it’s bothering you, you can ask that it’s in his own rather than your shared calendar