How can I help my teen daughter lose weight

[Solentsolo]

I have a 17 year old daughter who has put on a lot of weight recently and is not happy about it. She asked me to help lose weight. She eats lots of healthy, unprocessed food. It’s the volume of food that’s an issue, not what she’s eating. She has always been a hungry child.

Im struggling to help her. I could point out that the cheese she’s having with her jacket potato is calorific so maybe she should have less, and no one needs 4 weetabix for breakfast, or the constant grazing on fruit during the day etc. I don’t think pointing it out is helpful. It’s nagging and might give her a complex.

shes going to uni hopefully next summer and will be moving out. What can I say to her to help her see that this has to come from her? That I can support her but unless she tried to exert a bit more control over how often she eats and minds her portion size, she’s going to struggle? Any tips?

Increase exercise, how much does she do currently? And does she drink enough water?

She does at least 2 hours exercises every day. She can’t really do much more without being totally exhausted.

Would she write a meal plan with you?

What about the water? And is she eating the right things to support the type of exercise she does?

She eats a lot of veg and fruit. I need to get her to up her protein maybe. And water is a good point, thanks.

I’ll think about meal plans too, thanks.

I stopped gaining weight when I was diagnosed with ADHD (mid 20ies)

I am losing it currently, the things I’m listing below are a massive help to me.

I am aware that I am very privileged (medically speaking) and that this won’t be feasible for everyone.

things that come to mind/I would recommend based on my personal experiences:

1. do it together. Keep healthy food at home, cook high protein, low sugar meals etc. My SO supports me by cooking healthy, high protein, high fibre meals.
2. offer her a gym membership or other kinds of exercise she may enjoy (dancing, cycling, running coach etc.)
3. get her an appointment with a psychologist/psychiatrist.
4. get her an appointment with an endocrinologist. Cortisol levels, thyroid etc. Go to a competent professional that will take issues such as subclinical cushings into account, tests for everything and won’t just “assume” or shame your daughter.
5. work with a nutritionist. Mine is luckily covered by my health insurance.

edit: exercise is great. But what really helped me was getting a check-up by a cardiologist and the sport therapist recommending optimal training routines for my heart rate, interval training etc.

Something isn't adding up here.
I'd consider taking her for a check up at the doctor's.
If she's snacking on fruit and exercising two hours a day then it doesn't add up.
Yes perhaps cut down portions but as a comparison, my super skinny five year old girl can knock back 4 Weetabix.

It doesn't sound as if she is unhealthy? I would perhaps see the GP as 4 weetabix isn't going to make you fat if you're doing 2 hours exercise a day

I would imagine she is eating out of sight.

4 weetabix is only 270kcal roughly - it sounds like she's probably not eating enough protein. Does she count macros? Even just recording how much she gets in a day could help but obviously you don't want to make her too watchful of kcals.

I'd quietly make low calorie fruit options like watermelon & mango available for snacking & up the protein portion of her meal.

I think you really do need to be pointing out the things you mentioned above. Its not nagging, its guidance. A jacket potato with salad is all well and good but not when laden with cheese and a whole tin of beans. She needs to know that. 4 Weetabix for breakfast is alot. 2 with skimmed milk and a banana would be healthier. Alot of fruit could be mixed up a bit with some fruit and some carrot/cucumber with healthy dip. How will she know if you dont tell her? Watching her consume it all and then letting her wonder why the scales are creeping up is a bit silly

Is she on hormonal contraception? It causes weight gain in some people through increased hunger. She could switch to a none hormonal method like the copper coil

4 weetabix with milk and sugar could be around 400 calories. A banana can be around 100 calories. If she's a hungry girl and she's eating a lot of carbs and little protein she can easily go above her TDEE by 200 calories or more every day without too much difficulty even if she is active. OP hasn't actually said how overweight she is, she might be short and only a little overweight in which case her TDEE could be 2200 or so per day which for a hungry active teen is easy to exceed. There is no major mystery here - she's eating a bit more than she needs on a regular basis.

I think key here is for to understand the calorific value of each think she eats and keep a diary. It adds up. Workout what she needs to consume to lose weight.

Then look at making smart choices.
Meal planning and just be aware of what she is eating.
I recommend the Michael Mosley cook books, lovely recipes for about 500 calories a pop.

See is exercising and studying so she needs the traditional 3 meals a day, but upping the protein and reducing the carbs. As you say 4 Weetabix is too much.
Have a tuck box with her daily snacks in. Once they have gone they have gone.

Get her to look up recommended portion sizes and make sure she sticks to that - 2 weetabix with skimmed milk

most people have milk with their weetabix and that along with the weetabix contains protein

support her - she will feel hungry especially with making changes so have things you can do together - “come for a short walk with me instead “ or “help me with this please “

If her diet is mainly whole foods, having cheese on a jacket potato or four weetabix won’t be what’s leading to being overweight. Especially if she’s really doing two hours of exercise a day. Yes, she could be over indexing on fruit but even then if you eating the whole fruit the fibre will fill you up pretty fast.

I would guess she’s eating a lot of sugar and processed food out of sight but eating healthily in front of you.

Also what exercise does she do? Most burns a lot less than people assume.

Model good choices? Balanced meals with half of a plate filled with vegetables, 1/4 with carbs and 1/4 with protein sources. Things like potatoes, beans or peas belong in the carb category. If she eats well 80% of the time she is going to have less room for snacks.

Do lots of activities together, hiking, walking, sightseeing…

I rarely see sporty, active families with a single overweight person. If the whole family follow healthy lifestyle, some of it sticks with children.

If she’s generally eating healthily and doing two hours exercise a day then the GP would be my first port of call. Medical issues such as thyroid problems and PCOS can cause sudden weight gain. If you get that ruled out then you can start on portion control and whatever else. I’d be hesitant to risk getting her to obsess over food and calories before checking if anything else is going on.

That’s a difficult age for weight loss. Could you afford to see a dietitian to get individualised advice that keeps her age in mind?

When I was 18, I lost 2 stone in a few months by walking on a high incline treadmill for an hour a day… so she may be better off if she increases her exercise rather than drastically cutting her intake down.

A book like the Carb & Calorie Counter is useful for visualising how many calories are in different foods but I wouldn’t want her to become obsessive.

Beans and peas are actually in the protein category not carbs if you’re following NHS advice.

NHS nutrition advice is shit. Beans are high in carb and low in protein proportionately. You'd have to eat lots of them to get a good portion of protein and that would also be a very high amount of calories and carbs.

I would advise her to log what she's eating on Nutracheck which will give her a good breakdown of what she's eating now. Nothing too faddy, it's just going to be making sure she has say 80g protein a day, maybe keep carbs to 150g say, nothing too low, and try to have 25g+ of fibre. It costs about £30-£40 a year for the app and it's easy to record your food on your phone, and it's based on UK supermarkets and restaurants.

If say she is eating 2500 calories a day now maybe cut to 2100 and see how she goes. I wouldn't go below 1800 at her age if she is very active as well.

Though I have to say I lost a stone at 17 by joining the football team at college and going to aerobics 3 x a week. Food wise I cut out some of the snacking I'd been doing on chocolate and crisps at school. I wasn't very overweight, only half a stone over normal BMI say and I lost a stone and was more like BMI 22/23. At college I looked at what my slimmer friends ate at lunch time and noticed they had things with salad or beans instead of chips. So making swaps like that really helped. I put on half a stone at university but then lost it again after Christmas in my first year by starting going to aerobics there and cutting down on the takeaways! After that in my second year I joined the gym and always kept my weight down. I became very lean in my 20s after I took up running.

And she doesn't need to worry about eating beans and peas, she's not a menopausal woman who only has to look at a packet of crisps to put a pound on.

I'd book her to have her thyroid checked and also take her off birth control. Condoms and a copper coil would be better. I gained alot of weight when I went on the depo injection. Sounds like she's eating well. Could she introduce more protein? To feel fuller for longer?

When I was 17 I went on Femodene AND lost weight. It's not necessarily the pill that's the issue. And I wouldn't recommend the copper coil, I got endometriosis after having one for five years.

I would complete an honest food diary for a week so you have some objective data. You could suggest doing it together to avoid any awkward feelings. Up the protein, reduce the carbs and fruit, and increase the veg would be my starting point.