To ask for help with my shopping addiction.

[LovingPoster]

I find this time of year incredibly difficult when it comes to reigning in my spending. I’ve always spent too much and now I have a daughter I’ve transferred the shopping I used to do for myself, on to things for her.

I keep browsing Amazon and other places online several times a day. I’ll forget what I’ve already bought sometimes. I keep seeing the next ‘perfect’ thing and buying it within seconds. I panic when deals happen around Black Friday etc and buy things quickly so I don’t miss discount codes or free delivery.

I keep telling myself that I’m done and then I keep buying more…

Hello LovingPoster,
Everyone seems to be giving advice on the symptoms of your spending but not asking about the cause of it. You probably won't get in control of your problem until you work out why. Did you not have much money growing up and may be over compensating with your daughter for things you lacked growing up? I know this sounds flippant but your daughter will only think back on your times together doing things rather than presents when she's older. Spend time being there for her and doing fun things together. A lot of that stuff doesn't even cost much.

Have a look at this, @LovingPoster

Hi, it’s a good question and I honestly don’t know! I grew up comfortably middle class so I certainly had lovely birthday presents and treats as a child. Nothing extravagant but we never struggled. All I can think is that I have a naturally addictive personality and possibly adhd. I jump head first into ‘quick fixes’ so if I think that a new journal will help with organisation I buy the most expensive one right away, if I feel down because my skin isn’t great then I buy a whole new skincare routine. When my daughter would struggle to play independently or didn’t seem happy I would buy new toys thinking they would be the answer. Definitely not healthy.

You are absolutely right that experiences and memories are far more important than material possessions x

Hi Op Im going to suggest that you stop buying anything that isnt essential, only food and toiletries and go cold turkey. There are charities that can help you too with finances and shopping addiction. Not sure how old your daugter is but she only needs ONE christmas present and maybe a few stocking bits from you. I assume she will get presents from others too. Can you focus your energy on your finances and saving for her future. Martin Lewis will likely have some advice. I'm not a spender and therefore have been able to support my son at University as his maintenance loan doesnt even cover his rent. I dont like debt either as I begrudge paying intreset to anyone. Im probably older than you but I see it all around me peoples poor finacial decision making massively impacting on their future. I am also quite eco and the thought of all this stuff ending up in landfill and the ocean really upsets me. Good Luck

Could you ask your GP for some advice Some talking therapy about these addictions might be a good place to start? They can refer you

Hi lovely, thank you for your messages. I will definitely look into it. I agree that I need to look more towards future planning and building up savings for mine and my daughter’s future x

I’m going to leave the thread now but thanks again everyone for all your support ❤️ Hope you all have a great Christmas x