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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wife lost engagement ring

71 replies

Hubby2 · 03/12/2025 15:31

She was washing her hair she told me and it came off her finger, dropped down the plug hole and obviously I told her not to worry because these things happen.

She knew ring was loose before however had a few close calls losing it. She insisted on buying a replacement as close to the original. I said she really didn't need to.

What would you do? Or has it happened to you

OP posts:
Tourmalines · 05/12/2025 03:52

Howtogetthrough · 05/12/2025 01:49

I wasn't really being sarcastic.

OP's DW lost her ring in an accidental way and is replacing it with her own money.

But you have gone to great lengths to criticise her, insult her and imply she is totally dishonest. And I don't really understand the narrative you have created.

Don’t think anyone does

ACynicalDad · 05/12/2025 03:54

MoFadaCromulent · 03/12/2025 15:36

I'd have my guard up a bit. Good chance she took it off for less innocent reasons.

Says more about your relationship than OPs

tripleginandtonic · 05/12/2025 05:52

She's married now so no need for an engagement ring. I dont see why OP should be expected to buy another.

AcademyFootball · 05/12/2025 05:56

Howtogetthrough · 03/12/2025 15:45

Oh my goodness you sound like my first H!
I lost my engagement ring. And I got accusations about me taking it off so I could get up to no good. He was always bringing this up.
Then after we had split up he actually admitted to me that he had taken the ring and pawned it.

OMFG.

HelpMeGetThrough · 05/12/2025 06:03

Surely there is a trap that can easily be unscrewed and the ring (and a few years worth of pubes) will be in there.

YellowCherry · 05/12/2025 06:13

I lost my engagement ring Sad the stone dropped out one day and I never found it. Luckily it was covered by our house insurance as a named item.

Twinkletoes127 · 05/12/2025 06:27

MoFadaCromulent · 03/12/2025 15:36

I'd have my guard up a bit. Good chance she took it off for less innocent reasons.

A few therapy sessions would work wonders

Zoec1975 · 05/12/2025 09:02

If she had a few close calls losing it anyway,why not have had the ring resized,at a much cheaper cost,rather than actually risk what was foreseeable.

Hubby2 · 05/12/2025 09:09

Thank you everyone for posting. I checked a few days later and retrieved the ring much to my wife's delight she was thrilled to get it back. Once I took u bend off I knew it was there. I appreciate the posts because I never took side off bath before and I would not have known❤🤗

OP posts:
IAmKerplunk · 05/12/2025 09:11

Just looked at my plug holes - no way is a ring falling down there

eta just seen your update! Glad you found the ring but I am unreasonably interested in how big the holes are in your plug hole 🤣

Zoec1975 · 05/12/2025 09:14

Great news.Please get it resized before it gets lost again.

CatsorDogsrule · 05/12/2025 09:18

Glad the ring has been found and her innocence/ honesty/ integrity has been restored in your eyes.

If I was her and saw this thread, I'd have a serious think about my marriage to someone who would have written the OP.

jannier · 05/12/2025 09:48

IAmKerplunk · 05/12/2025 09:11

Just looked at my plug holes - no way is a ring falling down there

eta just seen your update! Glad you found the ring but I am unreasonably interested in how big the holes are in your plug hole 🤣

Edited

It would fall down my sink one, it's one with a lifter on the tap when you remove the plug for cleaning it's just an open hole.

Bungle2168 · 05/12/2025 09:53

Hubby2 · 05/12/2025 09:09

Thank you everyone for posting. I checked a few days later and retrieved the ring much to my wife's delight she was thrilled to get it back. Once I took u bend off I knew it was there. I appreciate the posts because I never took side off bath before and I would not have known❤🤗

All’s well that ends well. Glad to see a happy ending for a change.

AirborneElephant · 05/12/2025 09:54

Glad you got it back. But if it’s that loose you either need to get it resized or get one of those silicon ring adjuster things or she’ll lose it again.

randomchap · 05/12/2025 10:02

CatsorDogsrule · 05/12/2025 09:18

Glad the ring has been found and her innocence/ honesty/ integrity has been restored in your eyes.

If I was her and saw this thread, I'd have a serious think about my marriage to someone who would have written the OP.

What was wrong with the op? He didn't attack her? Other posters did but not the op

Gertrude77 · 05/12/2025 10:26

This reply has been withdrawn

Message withdrawn

CatsorDogsrule · 05/12/2025 10:40

randomchap · 05/12/2025 10:02

What was wrong with the op? He didn't attack her? Other posters did but not the op

Had the OP said " My wife's ring got washed down the drain, what should we do?", I would agree that it was an innocent question.

However "she told me" implies that he doesn't believe her.

"She knew ring was loose before however had a few close calls losing it." Blaming her for losing the ring and not believing that it was an accident.

"What would you do? Or has it happened to you" When combined with the above, this doesn't sound like asking for practical advice about a lost ring.

It certainly doesn't come across as an innocent post about an accidentally lost ring, but a deeper issue with the relationship.

(I did respond with looking in the trap first, which is what I would have done before starting a post that appears to question my wife's integrity.)

AntikytheraMech · 05/12/2025 11:07

CatsorDogsrule · 05/12/2025 09:18

Glad the ring has been found and her innocence/ honesty/ integrity has been restored in your eyes.

If I was her and saw this thread, I'd have a serious think about my marriage to someone who would have written the OP.

You've got some mucked up thinking.
You taking the use of one word and completely twisted the question out of context turning it into an accusation when it blatantly isn't.
I won't be surprised if you're single.

CatsorDogsrule · 05/12/2025 12:15

AntikytheraMech · 05/12/2025 11:07

You've got some mucked up thinking.
You taking the use of one word and completely twisted the question out of context turning it into an accusation when it blatantly isn't.
I won't be surprised if you're single.

No, happily married for many years. My DH would never start a post like this if I'd accidentally lost my engagement ring, as we'd have done the obvious thing and looked for it where I said I'd lost it. (I did post to look in the trap.)

In fact, I lost my wedding (not engagement) ring for over a year, before I found it in a side pocket of a travel bag. It must have been pulled off my finger as I removed my hand from the tight pocket, as I always wore it and hadn't put it there intentionally.

My DH certainly didn't blame me for losing it, even though I'd previously had it resized and knew it had been a bit loose due to weight fluctuations after having babies.

My loving, trusting husband in fact bought me an eternity ring before I happily found my wedding ring. All of the rings are currently too large though, so they are safely put away until I have them resized.

It was devastating to lose the ring, so if I'd known my DH was online, blaming me, implying that he didn't believe my explanation of how the ring was lost and asking what others would do, I'd feel very hurt and look into why he didn't trust me.

Unlike a number of PP, you didn't see any of that in the OP, just a single word that had been misconstrued.

Bearbookagainandagain · 05/12/2025 13:23

Happened to me (i put it down for cooking or cleaning and couldn't find it for a few days). Happened to my husband with his wedding band which was also a bit loose and it took him ages to get it fixed (we found it in the recycling bin! We eventually figure out that it must have fell off whist he was cutting down cardboard).

I'd be surprised if we never ever lose one for good!

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