What would you do?

[sharkstale]

I have a holiday coming up in 2 days with my now-ex and 2 children. Eldest is not his. Youngest is a baby so doesn't know any different. It's not amicable between us, he's nasty hence the reason for the breakup (recent) and I just don't want to be around him. I'm happy to miss out on the holiday, but my dd would be devasted.

Yabu - suck it up for your daughters sake, its only for 4 days

Yanbu - don't go, it's not worth it

I’m not sure why people are being so nasty to you!
Sorry to hear you’re going through this, no, I wouldn’t go it sounds like it could easily unravel and become a nightmare.
Can you take your dd for Xmas treats etc locally?

Don’t risk going. It’s not worth it.

Its rubbish to loose money but that money is spent now anyway plus you would spend more money going. Travel to airport/ sun cream/ food out (unless it’s all inclusive). The atmosphere will be awful.

Tell DD that you can’t go as you have separated but that you are going to plan something exciting with just her (maybe a day trip when younger one is with dad) and then a holiday with her and little one. Then you can book something cheap if necessary in a years time and look forward to it.

You will regret it if you go.

Tbf, it's only one person who's been nasty. Not sure what she's getting from it either. No, we're not going, we'll do some other fun stuff instead.

Is this man the father of the baby? How did things go from good enough to produce a child to breakup in such a short period of time?

If it’s not salvageable, I’d withdraw from the trip. She’ll be disappointed but that’s life. Maybe some local festive outings will be a distraction.

DD has a fantasy idea of how the holiday will be. The reality will be horrible, and she’ll pick up on it at that age even with the best will in the world from you.
Don’t go. It won’t end well for any of you.

See if you can take your daughter away yourself in the New Year - give her something else to look forward to.