I know I am being unreasonable about this

[imabitjealousandembarassed]

I just want a moan/ need a slap

I've lost 5 stone 3 years ago and as I am 54, the last three years of maintenance have been hard and every single day I have to think about exercise, nutrition and not gaining back. My BMR is low as I'm short and old. I'd like to shift another 2 stone ideally but it just won't go now. At this point , I'm an expert - I strength train, do lots of exercise- I even have a coach and despite all our efforts my body simply will not lose weight! There is nothing we have not tried.
So far so normal- but now there are lots of people at work who are on weight loss jabs (they are open about it) and I find myself really jealous and annoyed.
They are lovely people and I never let it show- but as I see them shrink I feel really irritated.
I definitely can't take the jabs - and I KNOW I AM BEING UNREASONABLE but its annoying!!

I can't moan at anyone irl about it so hence this post.
Sorry!

YANBU, it is cheating!

Why can’t you take them?

How far away are you from "normal" BMI? I sort of feel the same (same sort of age). I am just above normal BMI but I have to work fucking hard to stay there. I eat really well, work out (weights, running) and ya, I'm OK and healthy but I have been slimmer in my life and feel better when I'm slimmer. Two more stone might be a bit much but a stone and half would be perfect. I have to tell myself over and over again that it's OK where I am and actually I am healthy which is the most important thing. Also, the way I eat and exercise is really really good for long term health (if thinking about microbiome, cholesterol levels, bone density, mental health) and I need to focus on those wins and not watch other people melting away on jabs.

Bravo for losing the 5 stone, that's a huge amount and amazing. I'm assuming you are now at a healthy weight? Or there abouts?

The problem with weight, unlike other things that impact our health, is it's inextricably linked with our image and it's naive to say that doesn't matter. Still your health matters more.

Weight loss jabs are amazing for people who have been struggling their whole lives with their weight and need to get it down for health reasons but it does have side effects. A friend who is on them has really struggled with the side effects and had to come off them. The weight is going back on and she actually feels less healthy.

Even if you haven't got to your goal weight, your movement and nutrition mean at 54 years old you are going to be healthier than most and long term that's what will lead to happiness.

I'm similar - I am now overweight/obese borderline (even at my slimmest (size 10 and very strong as playing a lot of sport I have never been in 'normal' I seem to be short and dense if you know what I mean)

I feel healthy - I walk an awful lot and strength train , I have an active job- I feel much better than 5 stone ago
I do have some loose skin and am a bit baggy so an extra 2 stone worries me a little bit in that way
I'm also trying to focus on the health etc

YANBU, it is cheating!

Who exactly is it cheating? Someone taking WLI is not affecting the ability of another person to lose weight.

This is what I am hoping - I do feel healthy and nourished, I am active etc

How is it cheating exactly? I wasn't aware weight loss is a competitive sport.

Why can’t you take the jabs?

The jabs wouldn't suit me at all - I struggle with medications/ side effects etc

I do know a lot of people will come on here to say I should take them but I really will not be taking them

I have a family member and 3 friends who have had them and had negative experiences

I used jags and am no longer on them. I have to work incredibly hard not to regain. I'm mid 40s and perimenopausal, so even with them I couldn't reach the weight/size I might have been in my 20s or even 30s with a similar lifestyle. So although you probably think I'm a big cheat for using them, everyone ends up in the same boat in the end, working your butt off to avoid undoing all the work, unless you want to be on them for life.

Losing 5 stone is amazing, and it sounds like you've made huge changes and you are much more active and you will be much healthier for it even if you can't lose as much as you might ideally have wanted to. You're lapping everyone who's still on the couch and hasn't got beyond thinking about change.

The people taking the jabs but not working out and strength training will be slim, but they won’t be strong. Keep strength training and as you get older you’ll age better you’ll be able to carry your own shopping. You’ll be able to get up from the toilet etc. If they are just losing weight but not doing the exercise, they will struggle.

@CrazyGoatLady I really don't think youre a big cheat- that was someone elses words, in the same way that I don't feel personally annoyed at my colleagues. It's more an annoyance that I can see everyone getting slimmer and slimmer and I am stuck at my plateau.
It obviously triggers an anxiety point for me

I think a lot of people might not realise many of us on the WLI have already lost the weight by not ‘cheating’; in the way the OP describes; slowly, depriving yourself, no thank you at special occasions and going to bed hungry … we all know what it’s like. I felt like I was permanently in conflict with myself and either deprived and miserable overweight and miserable.

I started gaining weight at 16, when my mum died. It wasn’t too dramatic at first, just top end of my BMI (although I felt massive at the time) and I’ve been on the lifers diet since; lose weight, feel great, inevitably goes back on, cycle starts again.

It’s a shit way to live and I’m sorry if not living in torment upsets anyone but I do find it weird … the injections are there, if you’ve still got two stone to lose you probably do just fall into obese category so what’s stopping you?

eek OP you’re going to get eaten alive by the WLI cult.

Which is sort of ironic.

The Op has not said anything against WLI, just that they are not for her. The 'cult' will not eat her alive, we save that for people who call it cheating

Perhaps you didn’t mean this as cruelly as I read it.

Whenever anyone posts on here about wanting to lose weight, on they come, shouting about WLIs, even in cases where the OP has made it clear that they don’t want to take them.

“but why not? WHY NOT?!”

Defensive as fuck that someone’s refusal to take them is an indirect criticism of their choice to take them.

It is tiresome.

OP, if as you state, you are just above a “healthy”BMI (I am assuming you are maybe 25-26) then why do you want to lose a further 2 stone? I used WLI to get from 31 to 25 BMI, and I am happy with that. I am now a size 12 & look great in clothes & not too gaunt in the face (though a bit) I suspect you have a similar build to me ( think rugby player) Some people who lost weight the same time I did went from 35+ BMI to 18-19 BMI. They post pictures & they look skinny/scrawny (though muscled up) & really dreadful in the face. Are your goals realistic? We all have to struggle to maintain. I am a gym rat now, v active, never snack & eat two small meals a day. That is my life, but I am now happy to look in the mirror, & can move with ease.

I’m a lot younger than you but feel the same way, had a conversation with DH about it in fact. I am not naturally slim, it takes a lot of work and effort every single day to stay slim. My body naturally if I just eat according to hunger and don’t kill myself with hard exercise pretty much daily is a bit overweight.

I’m 5 ft 7 and if I just left my body to sit naturally without putting lots of effort in, it would comfortable be between 12.5 and 13 stone. I don’t feel confident at that weight but I’m an hourglass so naturally ‘curvy’ and that’s where my body is comfortable.

As I say, I have to go to enormous efforts to stay slim. At my slimmest as an adult I was 10 stone 6 and I honestly looked skeletal, I was tiny and fit into DS’s 15-16 year clothing. This was because I was running almost daily and barely eating. I just can’t naturally be that slim without almost killing myself.

My Mum is taking ozempic. Doesn’t exercise at all. Wants the easy route. I feel really pissed off tbh. The massive work I’ve had to put in over the years to maintain my weight and people just cheat with expensive jabs. It isn’t fair.

You know, perhaps you are at the best weight for you.

You eat well, you exercise well, there is probably nothing wrong with you except the medical fixation on bmi when it probably isn’t appropriate. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/news/publications/health-matters/is-bmi-accurate#:~:text=BMI%20came%20from%20the%20work,the%20purpose%20of%20distributing%20resources.

I was going to say yanbu, until you said you are borderline obese and thus eligible for WLI yourself. Just try them out if you want. Yes, you are taking the risk of having side effects, but it's the same risk as your colleagues decided to take. I'm sure many of them did have side effects, especially at first. It's expensive but it's the same cost your colleagues pay.

Try the 16 8 intermittent fasting diet op. Game changer. I am in my second week and lost three pounds the first week. I am 62 and have struggled the past two years to not just lose weight but maintain too.

I eat 12pm until 8pm at night. Feel so much more alert! I do drink pink Himalayan salt twice daily too to keep up electrolytes. I had been feeling so fatigued for ages and already this is the best I have felt in months on end!

I only have ten pounds to lose minimu m but am very pleased so far.

But at the weight you described, you very likely could be eligible for them. Your reasons for choosing not to are very understandable, but it's still a choice. The same choice those who take them have. Many people feel the same about meds, but have chosen to go ahead with it, despite the worries about potential side effects. And for this reason alone, I'm sure you can see that it really isn't plain sailing.

I do sympathise with you actually though, mainly because our situations are quite similar up to a point. I'm perimenopausal, and like you, I lost weight after having my babies without help from the WLIs, but got stuck at borderline obese. I considered the jabs, but dithered for ages, as like you, i'm hyper sensitive to side effects etc. I did go for it in the end, but just stuck on a very low dose (not even a therapeutic dose, just the small amount you take to start with while your body gets used to it). I've been on it a few months and never increased the dose. So I do still get very hungry etc, but with a hefty dose of willpower, and a little support from WLIs, it's working for me.

My advice to you would be not to rule them out if it's making you this unhappy. But if you decide to not do it, just concentrate on being strong and healthy. You've done so well! You deserve to feel proud of yourself.

I lost 10kg last year without the pen and it was a very hard slog. I found that more weights and less running was important (I believe there are now studies about cortisol and weight gain in middle aged women and sadly running triggers cortisol). I replaced the running with long v brisk hill walking sessions on the dreadmill which I only got through by reading on my Kindle.... The other change was to eat a lot more but make most of it protein eg a first meal of brinch at about 11.00 which might be scrambled eggs on a slice of smoked salmon rather than toast or baked beans with tuna. Then a protein or fruit snack mid afternoon - eg cottage cheese on a ryvita or a small apple with a little peanut butter. Then meat or fish with veg or salad. Grim.

I then managed to get the pen (only a micro dose at 2.5ml) and it just flicked a switch in my brain and I'm not that interested in food anymore so I don't feel deprived. As the dose is so small I have had no side effects except a more sluggish digestion (which helps me feel full anyway so not a problem).

I tried intermittent fasting- I have a coach and we are trying everything and we are stuck- the BMI article is interesting