Page 2 | I know I am being unreasonable about this

imabitjealousandembarassed · 2025-12-03T09:15:55+00:00

I just want a moan/ need a slap I've lost 5 stone 3 years ago and as I am 54, the last three years of maintenance have been hard and every single day I have to think about exercise, nutrition and not gaining back. My BMR is low as I'm short and old. I'd like to shift another 2 stone ideally but it just won't go now. At this point , I'm an expert - I strength train, do lots of exercise- I even have a coach and despite all our efforts my body simply will not lose weight! There is nothing we have not tried. So far so normal- but now there are lots of people at work who are on weight loss jabs (they are open about it) and I find myself really jealous and annoyed. They are lovely people and I never let it show- but as I see them shrink I feel really irritated. I definitely can't take the jabs - and I KNOW I AM BEING UNREASONABLE but its annoying!! I can't moan at anyone irl about it so hence this post. Sorry!

BrieAndChilli · 03/12/2025 10:31

Lilly have just done a clinical trial and found that a lot of people put at least 25% of the weight back on once they stop taking the jabs!

WildLeader · 03/12/2025 10:40

Pikles · 03/12/2025 09:18

YANBU, it is cheating!

Why can’t you take them?

Don’t be ridiculous! Cheating at what precisely?

🙄

WildLeader · 03/12/2025 10:43

BrieAndChilli · 03/12/2025 10:31

Lilly have just done a clinical trial and found that a lot of people put at least 25% of the weight back on once they stop taking the jabs!

A lot of people who have NOT made the changes they needed to.

all diets have similar statistics, that’s why weight watchers etc have been in business for years. People lose, regain, lose, regain.

there are hordes of people on the internet who are thicker than mince. Some of them are on WLM and eat the same crap they used to eat and moan at slow loss.

Bringemout · 03/12/2025 10:44

Do you have to lose 2 stone? I’ve accepted that even if I managed to shift the extra stone I would ideally like my life would be fucking miserable to try to keep it off. Also have you had your bodyfat measured? Is your waist to height and waist to hip measurement ok? You may find that some of that weight is just excess skin.

soocool · 03/12/2025 10:47

Another fan of intermittent fasting. I'm doing it for three or more years now and it is more for maintenance than weight loss at this stage. I didn't have a lot to lose I admit, but I was getting into the grazing/snacking habit at night. Not good!

I have maintained a loss of about a stone or so (not that much I know, but it was creeping up), and it has completely cured me of the snacking habit.

I don't know what else to advise OP. Full on fasting for a few days? Very strict IF? Cut out carbs and sugar completely? But I'm sure you've tried all that. I hope you find a solution for YOU. Maybe acceptance that this is your settled weight. I know I am about half a stone + higher than I'm told I should be, but I don't care now, it is a comfortable weight for me.

MyCatLovesCardboard · 03/12/2025 10:47

I’m surprised intermittent fasting didn’t work for you. Were you eating whole foods and sticking to your eating window? Were you clean or dirty fasting?

ChloeMorningstar · 03/12/2025 10:48

Pikles · 03/12/2025 09:18

YANBU, it is cheating!

Why can’t you take them?

Cheating?

Did anyone else have that on their bingo card, along with "well they'll pile it back on when they stop the jabs"?

crinkletits · 03/12/2025 10:50

So they will only help you (the jabs) if you’re over eating and it sounds like you aren’t?

Original poster

imabitjealousandembarassed · 03/12/2025 10:54

For those asking about everything I've tried - I have a weight loss and exercise coach and believe me- we have tried EVERYTHING

I'm really disciplined too - which is why I'm feeling annoyed fatigue with it all

I know people always think I must be lying/ eating more than I think etc etc and lots of people always offer 'have you tried...' and the answer is always yes

Look, I know I could do a liquid only 500 cals for a couple of months and it would work but I have an active job and I would pass out! And also, I don't want to lose hair, feel ill etc etc I do have to eat enough to keep my body strong and nourished but also be in a calorie defecit which for me is currently 1250 cals a day. I averagely hit 1100.

OP posts:

Original poster

imabitjealousandembarassed · 03/12/2025 10:55

crinkletits · 03/12/2025 10:50

So they will only help you (the jabs) if you’re over eating and it sounds like you aren’t?

I am definitely not over eating which is a good point about the jabs actually

OP posts:

TheFeetOfOphelia · 03/12/2025 11:19

Sartre · 03/12/2025 09:53

I’m a lot younger than you but feel the same way, had a conversation with DH about it in fact. I am not naturally slim, it takes a lot of work and effort every single day to stay slim. My body naturally if I just eat according to hunger and don’t kill myself with hard exercise pretty much daily is a bit overweight.

I’m 5 ft 7 and if I just left my body to sit naturally without putting lots of effort in, it would comfortable be between 12.5 and 13 stone. I don’t feel confident at that weight but I’m an hourglass so naturally ‘curvy’ and that’s where my body is comfortable.

As I say, I have to go to enormous efforts to stay slim. At my slimmest as an adult I was 10 stone 6 and I honestly looked skeletal, I was tiny and fit into DS’s 15-16 year clothing. This was because I was running almost daily and barely eating. I just can’t naturally be that slim without almost killing myself.

My Mum is taking ozempic. Doesn’t exercise at all. Wants the easy route. I feel really pissed off tbh. The massive work I’ve had to put in over the years to maintain my weight and people just cheat with expensive jabs. It isn’t fair.

I just want to say, I don't care who does or doesn't take jabs, but categorising it as cheating is wilfully obtuse, ignorant anx offensive. I'm similar to you in height and shape and I have been dieting since I was nine years old. That's over thirty years of my life, all through adolescence and adulthood. I have been a gym member since age 16. There is nothing - nothing at all - that I have not done to try to lose weight and maintain that loss. Over and over again, I have lost two stone, three stone, five stone. I have worked so hard and for so long, and over and over again I have failed and felt that crushing misery and inadequacy when once again that weight comes back. Like 95% of dieters, I have always put it on plus extra.

Weight Watchers, Slimming World, personal trainers, VLCD, low calorie, low carb, fasting, keto, intuitive eating, shake diets, couch to 5k, swimming, yoga, weight training - everything, everything, everything for decades of my life. And I still ended up with a BMI of 40 at 40, much to my devastation and shame and despair.

All of my life has been consumed by this battle that I have been fighting since pre-pubescence.

Now I'm spending £300 a month on the jabs plus £250 on gym membership and personal training every month. I have worked hard to lose the weight, I'm working hard to pay for this, I'm working hard to budget to make sure my family don't lose out and these are costs I expect and intend to pay for the rest of my life. I am still working hard to control my weight. Eighteen months in, my BMI is still at 29 but coming down. I will never maintain without these drugs plus the hard work at the gym. I will keep paying and keep working at it.

So what about that is 'cheating? It betrays such a lack of empathy and understanding to say that. Finally, drugs are on the market to treat something that blights people's lives. We aren't getting it for free. We aren't taking anything from anyone else. This is the first time in over thirty years that I have felt some peace and respite in the war I've been waging on my own body. The first thing that feels like it really can work forever.

Whether other people want to take them or not, I couldn't care less. But those of us who are taking them are taking a prescribed medication that helps our health. Nothing about that is 'cheating'.

Ohmygodthepain · 03/12/2025 11:29

I've been trying really hard to loose a few lbs and have lost 7 since September, taking me from overweight BMI to in the normal range. (5'6”, 10st 9lb).

According to the BMI calculator I could still lose another 2st and be in the normal range, however the last time I WAS below 9st was during an AWFUL divorce, was not eating well, zero exercise and looked gaunt and ill.

I'm perimenopausal and have been in a sedentary job for 2 years. I want to shift the stone Ive gained by sensible eating and moving about a bit more, I'm not a gym bunny (remember muscle is denser than fat) and I want to be able to fit into my clothes properly, not live in stretch trousers and elasticated waists.

Bmi is not the best indicator of weight as it doesn't factor in muscle mass.

AmberRose86 · 03/12/2025 11:35

TheFeetOfOphelia · 03/12/2025 11:19

I just want to say, I don't care who does or doesn't take jabs, but categorising it as cheating is wilfully obtuse, ignorant anx offensive. I'm similar to you in height and shape and I have been dieting since I was nine years old. That's over thirty years of my life, all through adolescence and adulthood. I have been a gym member since age 16. There is nothing - nothing at all - that I have not done to try to lose weight and maintain that loss. Over and over again, I have lost two stone, three stone, five stone. I have worked so hard and for so long, and over and over again I have failed and felt that crushing misery and inadequacy when once again that weight comes back. Like 95% of dieters, I have always put it on plus extra.

Weight Watchers, Slimming World, personal trainers, VLCD, low calorie, low carb, fasting, keto, intuitive eating, shake diets, couch to 5k, swimming, yoga, weight training - everything, everything, everything for decades of my life. And I still ended up with a BMI of 40 at 40, much to my devastation and shame and despair.

All of my life has been consumed by this battle that I have been fighting since pre-pubescence.

Now I'm spending £300 a month on the jabs plus £250 on gym membership and personal training every month. I have worked hard to lose the weight, I'm working hard to pay for this, I'm working hard to budget to make sure my family don't lose out and these are costs I expect and intend to pay for the rest of my life. I am still working hard to control my weight. Eighteen months in, my BMI is still at 29 but coming down. I will never maintain without these drugs plus the hard work at the gym. I will keep paying and keep working at it.

So what about that is 'cheating? It betrays such a lack of empathy and understanding to say that. Finally, drugs are on the market to treat something that blights people's lives. We aren't getting it for free. We aren't taking anything from anyone else. This is the first time in over thirty years that I have felt some peace and respite in the war I've been waging on my own body. The first thing that feels like it really can work forever.

Whether other people want to take them or not, I couldn't care less. But those of us who are taking them are taking a prescribed medication that helps our health. Nothing about that is 'cheating'.

Edited

Show quote history

Almond mum?

Pigeonenglish · 03/12/2025 11:36

Sartre · 03/12/2025 09:53

I’m a lot younger than you but feel the same way, had a conversation with DH about it in fact. I am not naturally slim, it takes a lot of work and effort every single day to stay slim. My body naturally if I just eat according to hunger and don’t kill myself with hard exercise pretty much daily is a bit overweight.

I’m 5 ft 7 and if I just left my body to sit naturally without putting lots of effort in, it would comfortable be between 12.5 and 13 stone. I don’t feel confident at that weight but I’m an hourglass so naturally ‘curvy’ and that’s where my body is comfortable.

As I say, I have to go to enormous efforts to stay slim. At my slimmest as an adult I was 10 stone 6 and I honestly looked skeletal, I was tiny and fit into DS’s 15-16 year clothing. This was because I was running almost daily and barely eating. I just can’t naturally be that slim without almost killing myself.

My Mum is taking ozempic. Doesn’t exercise at all. Wants the easy route. I feel really pissed off tbh. The massive work I’ve had to put in over the years to maintain my weight and people just cheat with expensive jabs. It isn’t fair.

I’m sure at 10 stone 6lbs you looked great, but at 5’7 you did not look ‘skeletal.’ You were around BMI 22, which is a healthy weight.

What you’re essentially saying is you have suffered and you wish your mum to suffer too. The fact she doesn’t pisses you off. I’m afraid I can’t relate to that.

Original poster

imabitjealousandembarassed · 03/12/2025 11:45

TheFeetOfOphelia · 03/12/2025 11:19

I just want to say, I don't care who does or doesn't take jabs, but categorising it as cheating is wilfully obtuse, ignorant anx offensive. I'm similar to you in height and shape and I have been dieting since I was nine years old. That's over thirty years of my life, all through adolescence and adulthood. I have been a gym member since age 16. There is nothing - nothing at all - that I have not done to try to lose weight and maintain that loss. Over and over again, I have lost two stone, three stone, five stone. I have worked so hard and for so long, and over and over again I have failed and felt that crushing misery and inadequacy when once again that weight comes back. Like 95% of dieters, I have always put it on plus extra.

Weight Watchers, Slimming World, personal trainers, VLCD, low calorie, low carb, fasting, keto, intuitive eating, shake diets, couch to 5k, swimming, yoga, weight training - everything, everything, everything for decades of my life. And I still ended up with a BMI of 40 at 40, much to my devastation and shame and despair.

All of my life has been consumed by this battle that I have been fighting since pre-pubescence.

Now I'm spending £300 a month on the jabs plus £250 on gym membership and personal training every month. I have worked hard to lose the weight, I'm working hard to pay for this, I'm working hard to budget to make sure my family don't lose out and these are costs I expect and intend to pay for the rest of my life. I am still working hard to control my weight. Eighteen months in, my BMI is still at 29 but coming down. I will never maintain without these drugs plus the hard work at the gym. I will keep paying and keep working at it.

So what about that is 'cheating? It betrays such a lack of empathy and understanding to say that. Finally, drugs are on the market to treat something that blights people's lives. We aren't getting it for free. We aren't taking anything from anyone else. This is the first time in over thirty years that I have felt some peace and respite in the war I've been waging on my own body. The first thing that feels like it really can work forever.

Whether other people want to take them or not, I couldn't care less. But those of us who are taking them are taking a prescribed medication that helps our health. Nothing about that is 'cheating'.

Edited

Show quote history

Wow thank you so much for this. I genuinely mean that.
Weight is such a long and difficult journey for us all and it takes work.

OP posts:

Slightlyembarrassed1 · 03/12/2025 19:45

Hi...so ive exercised and eaten well...mostly greens/ veg and protein, wholegrain carbs my whole life. Never been skinny...in fact my family are built like potatoes😍and this roundness has suddenly jumped on me about 12 monthd ago..in line with starting HRT and a while after stomach surgery. I cant tolerate anything fatty at all and dairy products give me a belly ache from hell, i dont eat sweets, lpw alcohol, i walk and i swim 5 nights a week. Somethibg changed at perimenopause. Cant explain it...i KNOW calorie defecit should work as how can u put on weight if you burn off mpre than you eat?? Well i kept on getting bigger round my middle. A bug didbt help ad i was in bed fpr about 10 fays exhausted... A size 12 to a 16-18...exercising was exhausting and i felt sluggish all thr time. Blood tests showed nothing, i had a consultantion with a nutritionlst and eventually B12 jabs just incase it was this..it wasnt.
I became really low and this made it harder to exercise.
I still weny along, 5 x nights a week but couldnt move as much. Exercising felt miserable.
I was aginst the jabs...but took them for3 months. No upset tummy no side efcexts and i dropped a stone whixh was enough to make exercise bearable again.
Ive kept at the lowest dose...yes food noise is different on them and i dpnt emjoy food like i did..but short term, im thrilled tbh.

Its given me my confidence back. And i can exercise without knee and hip pain.

AllIDoIsFloat · 03/12/2025 19:46

Pikles · 03/12/2025 09:18

YANBU, it is cheating!

Why can’t you take them?

They’re not! There’s no rules to break.

popcornandpotatoes · 03/12/2025 19:49

Maybe your body is at the weight and place it is meant to be, focus on a bit of self love. Life isn't all about how skinny your are. Much more important to be strong and confident

Dontlletmedownbruce · 03/12/2025 19:54

When I was young i had long curled lashes that were quite dark despite being fair haired and blue eyed. Everyone noticed and complimented them. Then fake lashes became a thing and long thick lashes were ten a penny. Every time I saw someone with them I wanted to shout at them to F* off. Lashes are my thing and you are a bloody cheat. Yes I was BU and yes you are too OP. I get it though.

NMWchanges · 03/12/2025 21:40

Augustus40 · 03/12/2025 09:59

Try the 16 8 intermittent fasting diet op. Game changer. I am in my second week and lost three pounds the first week. I am 62 and have struggled the past two years to not just lose weight but maintain too.

I eat 12pm until 8pm at night. Feel so much more alert! I do drink pink Himalayan salt twice daily too to keep up electrolytes. I had been feeling so fatigued for ages and already this is the best I have felt in months on end!

I only have ten pounds to lose minimu m but am very pleased so far.

@imabitjealousandembarassed do this as well and honestly I am slowly losing weight. I mean slowly I.e. 1/2 to 1 pound a week but it is a lifestyle change I am finding works for me.