Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Scared about my involvement….

67 replies

Nocluegardener · 03/12/2025 08:19

So this is a random one, I have been chatting to a man online for a while now we get on great. Then out of the blue I got a message from another woman saying she was also talking to him. I didn’t really think a lot of it but I did ask him about it, he then admitted he knew her and yes they had been talking.

We werent serious so we kept on talking. Then I started getting weird number calls on my phone (withheld numbers) and then one day it was her number that called me (he saw it on my phone)

shes adamant she hasn’t done it at all to the point she’s now reported it on action fraud to the police and apparently there’s no transactions of this on her phone record. She’s reported it for spoofing and her Facebook being hacked.

I’m genuinely very confused but also scared as I don’t want the police turning up or calling about this I just want to forget it’s ever happened.

OP posts:
notimeforregrets · 03/12/2025 09:17

Nocluegardener · 03/12/2025 09:10

It’s the fact that her call logs and itemised phone bill says she’s not done it!! It’s too weird and it makes me look like I’m lying.

You can delete the call logs and itemised bills only show answered calls.
You are focusing on the wrong thing though, you need to end it with the guy. Why do you care what a random woman you never met thinks about you?

BeaRightThere · 03/12/2025 09:20

Nocluegardener · 03/12/2025 09:10

It’s the fact that her call logs and itemised phone bill says she’s not done it!! It’s too weird and it makes me look like I’m lying.

According to her. OP you need to calm down. You know you've done nothing wrong. She's lying.

Upthenorth · 03/12/2025 09:22

Run for the hills OP.

This doesn’t stack up and he’s the common factor.

You haven’t done anything wrong and your phone logs will show you received the calls.

I would block all contact with both of them.

wheresmymojo · 03/12/2025 09:24

Nocluegardener · 03/12/2025 09:10

It’s the fact that her call logs and itemised phone bill says she’s not done it!! It’s too weird and it makes me look like I’m lying.

Have you actually seen these?

100% she’s lying about not making the calls, she’s lying about them not being in her phone call logs and she’s lying about it not being on her itemised phone bill.

Even if you or he have seen the logs and phone bill…

a) You can delete things from your phone call log
b) The only time it would show on an itemised bill is if you actually answered the call and spoke to her, if you ignored/missed the call it wouldn’t
c) The withheld ones could have been from any phone
d) It’s not that hard to manipulate a digital image these days so it she could have changed the itemised bill herself.

Consider as a PP said how ridiculously unlikely it would be that someone

a) would hack her phone and her Facebook (who else do you know that had both done? Who even has their phone hacked?)

b) Independently finds out your number (How and why would these random hackers do that? What would the motivation be for them?)

c) Calls you repeatedly - you who just happen to be the love rival of a totally random woman who’s phone they hacked - again, WHY would they do this? It makes zero sense whatsoever, they get nothing out of it

It’s clearly bullshit OP. Fair enough to have anxiety but use your brain!

surreygirly · 03/12/2025 09:29

I would ignore it
You say you are only talking on apps and you say it is not a serious thing

Adelle79360 · 03/12/2025 09:30

I had a situation once where a number phoned me and I answered, it was somebody asking why I’d called them and hung up. I genuinely hadn’t, I hadn’t had my phone in my hand at the time but had heard it ringing from another room and then went and answered it. She was really aggressive, and didn’t believe I hadn’t called her first. She then sent me a screenshot which showed a missed call from my number. My call log obviously didn’t have a call being made to her, just the one I’d answered. I didn’t reply to her screenshot and just blocked the number, but it was a bit unsettling because of how aggressive she was. I can sort of understand your worry OP. Just don’t answer random numbers, block them. I’d be minded to give this guy a wide berth too.

Shedeboodinia · 03/12/2025 09:50

Is he a real person or a scammer, it sounds like he is at the centre of this. Are you certain about him.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/12/2025 10:10

Cut this guy off girl 😭, its not worth it

BillieWiper · 03/12/2025 10:13

It's bollocks about Action Fraud. They wouldn't even do anything if she lost £50k.

It was her and she's embarrassed about it. I doubt it'll happen again. She obviously knows her antics aren't putting you off this bloke so she's trying to style it out.

ElReverendoGreen · 03/12/2025 10:14

How did she get your number?

why are you not answering this?

CypressGrove · 03/12/2025 10:19

Nocluegardener · 03/12/2025 09:10

It’s the fact that her call logs and itemised phone bill says she’s not done it!! It’s too weird and it makes me look like I’m lying.

Doesn't your call log show she did call you?

DeftWasp · 03/12/2025 10:27

Linenpickle · 03/12/2025 08:25

A) she’s probably lying about reporting it to action fraud
B) this isn’t in their scope anyway as not fraud - actual or alleged
c) it would be malicious communications probably so a police matter
d) why are you scared when you’ve been the recipient of these calls
e) tread carefully with boyfriend as he hasnt been too honest so far and she’s annoyed
f) don’t be too naive

Agree, but unless these calls were threatening they won't fall under malicious comms (unless they continued after the OP asked the caller to desist), doesn't sound as if they were threatening.

In my opinion OP, just cut contact with the bloke, it sounds too much hassle.

MyCatLovesCardboard · 03/12/2025 10:38

It’s probably all him.

Original poster
Nocluegardener · 03/12/2025 10:52

ElReverendoGreen · 03/12/2025 10:14

How did she get your number?

why are you not answering this?

I’m a local dog walker so my number is online.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nocluegardener · 03/12/2025 10:53

CypressGrove · 03/12/2025 10:19

Doesn't your call log show she did call you?

Show quote history

Yes it does but she’s saying her number has been spoofed.

OP posts:
Tillow4ever · 03/12/2025 10:54

I found out that my number was being used to make spam phone calls - multiple people rang me to either say they had a missed call or in the case of one bloke scream down the phone at me how I’m a scammer etc. I told them all to block my number as I hadn’t called them (and screenshot call logs to send to them first). I then contact the police via an online form. They basically told there’s nothing they can do. I looked at Action Fraud but there didn’t seem to be a way to report the actual situation happening.

What are the odds this woman who is involved with the guy you’ve been talking to happens to have had her number spoofed and it’s YOU they’ve called etc? It’s bullshit. And isn’t something the police etc take seriously so why is she making out they are doing something?

Honestly, I would run now before this gets nasty. Which it will. She sounds unhinged and I would definitely question how she got your number. He either gave it to her which is a good reason to block him now, or he’s involved with her and she’s found he’s talking to you and got your number that way.

amber763 · 03/12/2025 10:55

Shes lying. Of course she called you. But walk away from this one and block them both.

noidea69 · 03/12/2025 10:57

She's 100% lying.

He is also shagging her too.

OriginalSkang · 03/12/2025 11:02

Surely you have the record of receiving the calls on your phone though? So that's the end of the story. Just end it with him and block them both

CypressGrove · 03/12/2025 11:10

Nocluegardener · 03/12/2025 10:53

Yes it does but she’s saying her number has been spoofed.

Show quote history

Well that doesn't matter to you though. You can prove you aren't lying.

TheIceBear · 03/12/2025 11:13

the police are not going to waste time on anything so trivial and anyway you didn’t do anything wrong so what’s the issue ? I get bad vibes from the situation though id be very wary of this man you have been talking to if I were you.

Galatine · 03/12/2025 11:17

Just end it with him. You don't need the drama and stress.

TippityTappity2 · 03/12/2025 11:19

Nocluegardener · 03/12/2025 10:53

Yes it does but she’s saying her number has been spoofed.

Show quote history

Sounds like too much of a coincidence that her number would be spoofed and calling you? She’s absolutely lying! She’s been calling you and been found out so now she’s trying to save face in quite an aggressive way.

Either way, you haven’t done anything wrong and you have the call logs on your end to prove she has called you IF anyone comes knocking. I highly doubt they will.

LaddersAndLadders · 03/12/2025 12:38

Seemingly very easy to spoof a number and a quick search shows apps available for doing this and where people used them in uni for pranking.

and then one day it was her number that called me (he saw it on my phone)
How did he see this? I would not trust him or her - just not worth it - too many red flags.

Linenpickle · 03/12/2025 12:46

Your are scarily naive. Sorry but you are.