Did your mum stop cooking when your dad left?

[Staybymw]

I don’t mean full stop but like home made dinners.

I remember when my step dad left (my mum asked him to)after a few months my mum stopped cooking home made meals and we would have a frozen ready meal or a pot noodle, something like that.

I didn’t notice it at the time and quite liked having the option to pick which ready meal to have. But cooking back I do think I missed the family meal vibe I also can’t remember what her roast dinner tastes like anymore.

I’ve only just remembered this as my MIL is doing similar now that she is no longer married. She will make a big pot of lentils and it will last her a few days. She seems quite happy with it.

How cruel for her, did they stay together, husband and friend?

They got married and stayed together for maybe 6 years or so. Then they divorced and he was on his third wife when he died. (His wife didn't even go to his funeral!) Mum was single for about 4 years and then met and married a lovely man and they were together until she died from cancer at the age of 76.

I think it can be twofold. It could be that husbands have wanted it done in a certain way and it could be (as it would be in my case) that I enjoy cooking for other people. I enjoy cooking for my husband and my son when

I love cooking and food and everything to do with it. I home cooked everything when I became a single parent.

However 20 years later I am so over cooking when the sprogs finally leave home I will only be cooking what I want to eat. No more, no less.

Luckily my husband is a fueler so will eat whatever and shares the load.

The drudgery of cooking and planning is immense. Sometimes the only thing we talk about between sleeping and working is what's for bloody dinner and who is cooking it.

No. She’d still cook a mean shepherds pie and we’d have more each

My parents divorced when I was 12 and mum declared she wasn’t going to be doing anymore cooking from then onwards.

We went from dinner being on the table at 6pm sharp to me being called down to make myself something to eat. I could cook myself eggs on toast, tin of something and toast, cheesy tuna on pasta or plain stir fry.

I’d still eat at the table, but just alone. I’ve always ate at the table. I feel like I’ve won the lottery every night when I sit down to eat with my own husband and kids now. Whatever has happened during the day dinner time is my happy place.

Not leave as such , but died at age 50 . My mum continued to cook dinners and even years later when she was cooking for 1 .

To some extent yes, but my farther didn't pay maintenance or do any childcare to allow mum to work, so I suspect that was more to do with the cost. The ingredients for proper home cooked meals aren't usually cheap, plus the extra power used for more cooking makes it much less economical when your only cooking for one adult, and fussy kids that might not eat it anyway.

If your mil is now stretching a pot of lentils over three days, could it be that she's struggling to finance a home on a single income.

I've very rarely cooked throughout my entire marriage! If I was on my own guess I'd have to start rather than stop! 😆

Yep my mum stopped! She’d always done proper from scratch dinners, they split up when we were 10, 12 and 14, my siblings went to live with my dad fairly soon post split and I think she basically thought ‘fuck it’ and pretty much stopped cooking. And shopping, for that matter 😅 I used to eat a lot of weird stuff I’d foraged out of the fridge! She has very disordered eating to this day though which probably didn’t help.
I cooked from scratch for fussy DC and fussy exh for years and then finally reached my limit a couple of years before we split up and basically gave up on ‘real’ cooking and just went to pure basics cos I was so sick of being moaned at by one or other of them any time I made something I actually wanted to eat. Then when I was a single mum I continued to feed them basic meals (healthy stuff, minimal oven crap, just as far from fancy as it was possible to be!) and primarily lived on cheese and salad for myself 😂 was great. Also baked goods, I’ve always liked baking.
Now OH does all the cooking. I told him both when we got together and before we moved in together that I’d happily do everything else domestic but I won’t cook. And he’s stuck to it! If he goes out for the evening he makes dinner for the kids before he leaves so I don’t have to do it 😁

My late mum cooked more often after her divorce. She could cook whatever SHE wanted and not have to deal with anyone else's wants.

My mum and dad were equally toxic (DV, abuse, etc). My dad finally got took away by the police for the final time (after attempting suicide in front of me, trying to kill us all, fun times!). When he left she stopped parenting (I was 10) and just let me raise myself 😂. Never had money for feeding or clothing me but alcohol was needed every weekend. So kinda agree with you even tho my situation I guess is way more extreme.

Well my parents are still together so wasn't a thing but I definitely did stop.
I only had my adult daughter with me at the time so she could sort herself but it wasn't a great time after all I had been through so, yeah, I didn't do a great lot of anything but I did manage to maintain my job which was the most important thing I'd need going forward.

Same as my DM loved cooking but dinner became a kind of god and i think she made a rod for her own back. We had the odd ready meal or takeaway but had she relaxed and had more of them she would have been far more chilled. There’s a place for both

What's stopping you doing that now?