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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would happen if you didn't bring your child to school?

101 replies

soreankles · 01/12/2025 23:15

I often wonder what would happen if I just didn't wake up - I'm a single parent and don't have anyone checking in on me. Would school or nursery do anything?

OP posts:
PatMustardsBigTool · 01/12/2025 23:18

They would attempt to make contact firstly by phone and then possibly by coming to your home if no contact could be made, especially if your child is deemed vulnerable.
Is everything ok?

LouLou198 · 01/12/2025 23:20

I was away on holiday once with dc - flew out a day before half term. I had told them dc would not be in school but they had forgotten. They phoned me and asked if everything was okay. I said “yes thanks, I’m on a lounger in Greece!”

Original poster
soreankles · 01/12/2025 23:27

PatMustardsBigTool · 01/12/2025 23:18

They would attempt to make contact firstly by phone and then possibly by coming to your home if no contact could be made, especially if your child is deemed vulnerable.
Is everything ok?

Yes I just wonder. My work don't check in on me

OP posts:
Tiswa · 01/12/2025 23:29

Yes they would is the answer - do it too many times and then the LA would be informed

cadburyegg · 01/12/2025 23:29

School would call you within an hour I think. I’m not sure what would happen if you didn’t answer though

TokenGinger · 01/12/2025 23:31

Yes they would call you. If no answer, they typically carry out a home call.

PatMustardsBigTool · 01/12/2025 23:31

But presumably you are an adult. Schools etc have a safeguarding duty of care towards children.
I’m surprised your work doesn’t contact you if you don’t turn up without notice.

IdaGlossop · 01/12/2025 23:32

cadburyegg · 01/12/2025 23:29

School would call you within an hour I think. I’m not sure what would happen if you didn’t answer though

They'd persist until they found out where the DC was, referring to the police if the DC was unlocked by the end of the school day. In term time, the school is legally responsible for tge child during school hours.

Mummysof · 01/12/2025 23:32

I work in a childcare setting

we contact by 09:30, if not answered we’d ring the second person give it short bit of time and then ring emergency contacts at that point of non contact it would be a safeguarding matter and police etc would be called to do a welfare check.

Original poster
soreankles · 01/12/2025 23:36

PatMustardsBigTool · 01/12/2025 23:31

But presumably you are an adult. Schools etc have a safeguarding duty of care towards children.
I’m surprised your work doesn’t contact you if you don’t turn up without notice.

I work from home. Of course I'm an adult. I'm also a single parent

OP posts:
Original poster
soreankles · 01/12/2025 23:37

IdaGlossop · 01/12/2025 23:32

They'd persist until they found out where the DC was, referring to the police if the DC was unlocked by the end of the school day. In term time, the school is legally responsible for tge child during school hours.

Show quote history

Surely only legally responsible if on the premises?

Do you mean you legally have to send your child to school.

OP posts:
JalapenoSlices · 01/12/2025 23:41

No they wouldn’t come, I was really ill once and didnt notify the school and they didn’t turn up or call just sent an email (I had wrote the email but accidentally didn’t send it)

Tiswa · 02/12/2025 00:02

@soreankles you legally have to provide an education to your child either by sending to full time school or providing a suitable home education

Attendance is a huge priority for schools

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/12/2025 00:04

I was a single parent and taught my child to use a phone (old fashioned dial phone) as soon as she could read numbers. I had a few numbers written down for her in case of emergency. It would be easier nowadays if they could use a mobile. Some quite young children have dialled 999 when a parent has had an accident, you should teach them to do this.

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/12/2025 00:06

Tiswa · 02/12/2025 00:02

@soreankles you legally have to provide an education to your child either by sending to full time school or providing a suitable home education

Attendance is a huge priority for schools

I am assuming @soreankles is thinking about what would happen if she was ill.or worse.

Tiswa · 02/12/2025 00:08

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/12/2025 00:06

I am assuming @soreankles is thinking about what would happen if she was ill.or worse.

Show quote history

yes And due to the above they would definitely be on it quite quickly They have attendance officers whose job this is or part of the job

Lamentingalways · 02/12/2025 00:09

soreankles · 01/12/2025 23:27

Yes I just wonder. My work don't check in on me

Show quote history

They’re supposed to! They have a duty of care towards you.

Retrojealousy · 02/12/2025 00:13

My son's school have never got in touch with me when he's been off

Tiswa · 02/12/2025 00:14

Retrojealousy · 02/12/2025 00:13

My son's school have never got in touch with me when he's been off

Have you told them or not bothered

Original poster
soreankles · 02/12/2025 00:21

Lamentingalways · 02/12/2025 00:09

They’re supposed to! They have a duty of care towards you.

Show quote history

I don't know any WFH jobs that check in.. I'm often not signed in to teams

OP posts:
CaseClosedWineOpened · 02/12/2025 00:22

You can check your school’s attendance and safeguarding policies. At our school (primary with a small catchment), parents/carers who haven’t reported their child’s absence get a call shortly after 9am. If the office can’t get hold of someone to ascertain the child’s whereabouts, a member of staff goes round to knock on the door. I am sure not all schools can (or are able) to do that, though.

Shedeboodinia · 02/12/2025 00:33

Once my cbild was off sick and both me and Husband thought the other had rang in. But neither of us had.
The school text, rang, rang again. By that time it was late afternoon by the time we realised and called them but they didn't seem that bothered. They hadnt tried to call anyone else except us two and hadnt rang that many times.
In your situation, if you are worried about noone checking then maybe ask the school to put a note on the file to ring an emergency contact if you do not answer.

suburberphobe · 02/12/2025 00:41

My work don't check in on me

That is fucking weird. I don't live in UK. You could be in the hospital!

I worked in HRM, if someone doesn't turn up, we have NOK, landlords etc. on file.

sittingonabeach · 02/12/2025 00:43

Schools should have a policy (check their website). Most schools will have a time limit after morning registration by which time if a child is absent with no given reason they should contact parents, and then work down the contact list if they can’t contact parents. If still no contact they then may come to the house if they have staff available or last resort get a welfare check done (especially if vulnerable pupil).

Do you have at least one other person on the contact list for school @soreankles

Does your employer not see your work output? So if you have not contacted anyone/provided reports etc would they not contact you

StruggleFlourish · 02/12/2025 00:49

OP,
This isn't quite the answer you're looking for I think, but, have you considered joining a small group of people who are in a similar situation, online, who can check in on each other every morning?
I have an elderly friend who does this, he lives alone, and if something were to happen to him, it could be days or weeks before anyone found out...
So he has two friends that he emails every morning, just to check in and say hey, everything's fine...
And if he knows he's going to have a late night or a really early morning or something like that he will let them know ahead of time that he may not be able to contact him that day, but typically, if he hasn't written to them by 10:00 a.m., they have his phone number and his address...
They could phone the police to do a welfare check.
Maybe you can get a couple of contacts and you could all check on each other? Sounds like a weird situation but, if you work from home, you're a single parent, you have it dependent, and you're just thinking, what if something terrible happened to you, how long would it take for them to find your child? Yeah that's a very reasonable concern.