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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband keeps shrinking my cashmere jumpers

48 replies

noodlemcnoodle · 01/12/2025 23:06

Hi,
Over the past 5 years my husband has shrunk 4 of my cashmere jumpers. I do the vast majority of the laundry, but from time to time he has done it and has shrunk 4 of my cashmere jumpers. I lost it last week when he did it again and have insisted that he replace it. He suggested tonight that I should put my jumpers in a separate bag in the laundry basket so he doesn't shrink them. He pointed out that he doesn't shrink his.. that because he rarely washes his jumpers! Anyway, this made me really angry, he can't take the time to do the laundry properly, separate whites and darks and not bloody shrink my jumpers!! Why am I having to make accomodations for his lack of care ! Am I bring unreasonable?

OP posts:
IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 01/12/2025 23:07

Of course he should replace your jumpers! I would stop putting them in with the main washing though

StruggleFlourish · 01/12/2025 23:09

Shrink his underwear.
Don't tell him.

Gardener82 · 01/12/2025 23:09

Yes he should replace them, I’d be so annoyed at my husband if he did this.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 01/12/2025 23:10

Could you buy a new one three sizes too big?

Vaxtable · 01/12/2025 23:10

Cashmere has specific washing introductions, just put them separate as he suggests

tipsyraven · 01/12/2025 23:11

I’d never put a cashmere jumper through the machine again after shrinking one that was supposed to be machine washable. I’d never put one in the laundry basket either as it is so easy to scoop up a load of washing and not realise it was in there.

jackstini · 01/12/2025 23:11

StruggleFlourish · 01/12/2025 23:09

Shrink his underwear.
Don't tell him.

Be funnier if you got him bigger pants and he thought his dick had shrunk…

Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 01/12/2025 23:12

StruggleFlourish · 01/12/2025 23:09

Shrink his underwear.
Don't tell him.

That's what I came to say 😆

ASeriesOfTubes · 01/12/2025 23:17

Stop wearing cashmere jumpers?

OneZanyPoet · 01/12/2025 23:17

Four??

You shouldn’t machine wash cashmere, even if it says you can. Stop putting them in the main wash pile, most people would learn that before losing hundreds of pounds worth of cashmere to the machine.

Hand wash with a silk/wool specialist detergent, lightly squeeze and dry flat.

My husband doesn’t own regular sweaters that require specialist care (his stuff is either general wash or dry clean only) so I don’t expect him to wash mine or care to learn how.

BoxOfCats · 01/12/2025 23:18

I am single so do all my own washing. And I have a separate basket for delicates. It stops me from accidentally putting them in the main wash with everything else. It’s not difficult and avoids accidents.

CombatBarbie · 01/12/2025 23:20

I have a seperate laundry bin for "delicates" and everyone knows not to try do me any favours. But yet he should replace it.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 01/12/2025 23:21

Yanbu...

but ultimately fuck ups come out of household budget and its another (annoying) task to replace so i'd work on improving "processes".

we have a communal household "wool laundry basket" which prevents this kind of nit wittery.

WinterHangingBasket · 01/12/2025 23:23

I have a separate basket for my wool and other delicates after similar incidents. It is much simpler, cheaper and lower stress than raging about it not being fair that you have to accommodate him. Some fights simply are not worth having.

OSTMusTisNT · 01/12/2025 23:31

I have a separate laundry bag for my hand knitted items and DH knows to keep well away from it. In an ideal world, he would sort the laundry carefully but it's not worth the risk IMO.

Definitely get him to pay for replacements and definitely not to be included alongside your Xmas present!

(Sorry for the unsolicited advice but remember you only need to wash cashmere once per season as it is naturally anti bacterial and doesn't smell of armpits like cotton or man-made fibres would, unless you tip your dinner down it obviously!).

5foot5 · 01/12/2025 23:38

I would never put anything delicate in the main laundry basket, this is obviously an accident waiting to happen.

I don't have any cashmere but both DH and I have items of clothing that shouldn't go in the tumble dryer. We are both guilty of occasionally getting it wrong. No recriminations when it happens.

Shinyandnew1 · 01/12/2025 23:40

I wouldn't put anything needed special washing instructions in the normal laundry basket and I certainly wouldn't do it 4 times!

His idea of a bag for delicates is a really sensible idea.

SandyY2K · 01/12/2025 23:41

I has a somewhat similar situation with my kids (adults) and I was fuming. They ruined 2 dresses by putting them in the tumble dryer.

They put everything in the tumble dryer.

I agree with your DH though and now I put certain items in a separate laundry bag.

Prelim · 01/12/2025 23:43

I also have a separate basket for delicates, having ruined many cashmere socks by accident. Conversely, my husband is great at sorting the laundry (much better than me!) and lays all our wool and cashmere to dry flat (something u had never done until I met him)!

Talipesmum · 01/12/2025 23:44

Another one with a separate “delicates” aka DON’T TOUCH THIS I’LL DO IT basket.

Actually our laundry basket has three sections - darks, lights and delicates. I love it so much. No sorting needed - just take a pile from the right section and wash it. Pretty much a game changer for me. It’s the little things!

Bungle2168 · 01/12/2025 23:48

Buy him a cashmere codpiece for Christmas.

EarlNeedsAHome · 01/12/2025 23:52

A friend told me recently about a laundry issue her and her partner faced - she did all the laundry for the family and at some point a t-shirt of his was spoiled. He kicked off, got annoyed and insisted that she replace it using her own money. So she did, calmly and politely, no questions asked. And then said I respect that you're upset, so to avoid this, it's best I never do your laundry again. 10 years later, he does his own laundry still and she won't touch it with a bargepole. I know this isn't the equivalent but I love how she handled that.

Hellohelga · 02/12/2025 00:06

I agree with DH, put them in a separate bag or basket. I put my cashmere separate or I would shrink it myself.

Aparecium · 02/12/2025 00:15

Your dh is right. Have a separate basket for your cashmere.

We have a separate basket for delicates. It started off as the basket where I put my delicates, anything that I did not want anybody else to launder. It has morphed into a basket that both dh and I put things into, but we only wash our own things from it. The rest of our laundry is not separated by person, and either of us will do it. Dh for some reason likes to wash all his smart shirts together, in a load of their own. So they go in the dedicated basket and I ignore them, just as DH ignores my silks when he launders his shirts. This system works well.

InterestedDad37 · 02/12/2025 00:51

For different reasons (ie not shrinkage) I never used to let my ex wash my work shirts or my 'best' clothes - I kept them in a bag in my wardrobe and washed them myself.
It's deliberate incompetence, best avoided by not letting him near them.