Disrespectful Older Daughter.

[CosyDreamer]

AIBU or just taking things to heart?

Some of you may have seen my previous thread about struggling to keep up with the family washing. I took some advice and my normally pleasant eldest daughter has completely threw a fit when I told her that in future she and my eldest boy needs to help contribute to the washing and to start washing and drying their own clothes and bedding etc as it’s time they pulled their weight. My eldest lad has agreed to do his and said it was half expecting it and he is happy to do so. She on the other hand is not happy at all.
Her dad just stood by yesterday when she threw a fit and started calling me for telling her this is how it’s going to be. Now I’m absolutely fuming as I’ve raised this girl as my own daughter since she was 7 as her mother isn’t around anymore and I expected abit more respect from her but I also expected DH to actually pull her up for how she spoke to me. I’ve spoken to him and told him I’m not at all impressed and he said he was kind of shocked at her outburst and did speak to her about it afterwards but she done her famous putting on the tears and saying it’s because she felt poorly etc that she snapped. Told DH she would apologise (which she still hasn’t) and is sorry and it was left at that. This morning I've got up and put a full wash load on before I headed out to work and she’s pulled her face and said I need to wash my things too and started moaning about how it’s not fair that she has things to wash and I’m using the machine. I’ve told her while she has the day off work she can wait for the washer to finish and once it’s done she can use it while nobody is here once the current load was done.
I’ve just got home and my washing is still in the machine (not a big deal) and I will get that out now but she’s gone her friends and just left her washing on the floor near the machine and told her dad that I said she couldn’t use the machine!!
AIBU and being abit touchy or am I right to be really annoyed with her?

Well thanks for that. All I said was if the washer is full it's fair to wait till it isn't. That's what a grown adult would do. They wouldn't hang up someone else's laundry any more than do it.

I've never done anyone else's laundry in my life over the age of 12.

Really? In my family we all help out so if we notice the washing machine is full we will hang it up. Since we all do it, it evens out in the end. My thinking is that we're family, not flatmates.

That's fair enough. But my family aren't savages for just waiting for the person to hang up their own laundry. It's not mollycoddling is it? Quite the opposite. I don't like others touching my laundry and fear bits of it will go missing! Haha.

I bet if she’d taken the washing out OP would be moaning about that. Honestly OP sounds like she is resentful of this young lady.

No she doesn’t, and betting is speculation.

The putting on a load before going to work isn't a big deal and I can't believe other posters think it is. It's simple. I have adult children at home. If I'm using the machine, they ask if it's free later or let me know they need to do a load. Then I can hold off putting on another one so they can do a load too. If I'm out, they put it in a basket and put it aside so they can do a load. I deal with the washing in the basket when I get back. It's not that hard to share a washing machine.

Omg some of the replies on here are ridiculous.
My adhd 12 year old knows to pull wet washing out and either leave it in basket or put in in the tumble dryer or hang it on the airer. I think a 19 year old can work that out.

Oh trust me I’m not resentful, if she put it in the wet basket like she was told she could have done then that would have been fine therefore she could have used the washer and I would have sorted it out when I got home. It’s not hard to pull it all out into the basket and put it up on the worktop.