To think school lunch time assistant is picking on my child.

[Magentaredwand]

On two occasions over the last couple of weeks DD has mentioned a lunchtime assistant at school.

1st incident: DD said there was a bit of a misunderstanding with two other children which resulted in this LTA telling one of the children not to play with DD because she's not a nice girl. DD is sensitive and being called 'not a nice girl' upset her. Afterwards one of the children she has been playing with was chanting "you're a naughty girl" to DD. DD told same LTA. DD says LTA mocked her and called her a liar.

2nd incident: DD and one of the same girls were playing. LTA came up to the other girl and asked if she'd smacked another child in the face. Girl blamed DD. DD repeatedly told LTA she didn't. LTA said why would the other girl lie. DD said to LTA 'Why would I lie.' LTA said she was going to tell DD's teacher she'd smacked this boy. DD was upset about this.

DD has just turned eight. I know children fabricate the truth and I know DD isn't perfect but she's adamant this is how it went. I know my child, she is not physically aggressive.

There is history with this other child and DD. The other child is known to be a bit of a trouble maker. She's mischievous. She's pushed DD physically a few times, hidden her shoes etc. From what I understand home life has been turbulent for this girl and it undoubtedly has an impact on her outward behaviour.

If this LTA has said these things to DD, I don't think she has conducted herself very well as the adult in these situations. I feel like going to school at lunchtime to have a face to face with her, although I think this is probably unreasonable and it's just my lioness protecting her cub instinct kicking in. Plus, school more than likely wouldn't allow me access to this LTA. (When I say face to face, I mean I'd like to get her perspective, but I want to see for myself how she responds).

I keep thinking the adult (the LTA) wouldn't behave like this - but what if I dismiss it, and it turns out to be true. Not all adults are well-rounded and can show bias.

I guess the only option I have is to email the school.

This stuff is trivial, but it isn't for DD and I want her to know I have her back.

WWYD in this situation?

AIBU to get involved?

Ask the school what they are doing to safeguard your DD.

The LTA is a bully and a low life and if she had a brain she would be dangerous.

The stupid woman should not be bullying an 8 year old and she is an absalute disgrace.

OP, I echo other posters when advising you not to use language like ‘picking on’ when speaking to the school, whether in person or via email.

Focus instead on your concerns about the language used by the adult in the situation. E.g. describing your DC as ‘naughty’ ‘lying’ ‘mean’ etc. It’s the most concrete thing to deal with. It’s also something that can be verified by others.

Also, make sure you log these incidents. The exact day that it happens e.g. ‘DC said lunch supervisor said ‘XYZ’ at lunch on Tuesday 20th September.’
If there is a clear pattern with at least 3-4 incidents, it gives you a leg to stand on. Schools leadership don’t deal well with vagueness in situations like this. The more concrete, the better.

I am a teaching assistant and also cover lunch time. Firstly the fact that the lunchtime time assistant actually said that your daughter is not nice is very alarming! On no account are members of staff allowed to say that to children it would be cause for disciplinary actions.

Secondly does the lunchtime assistant work for a catering company? Or employed by the school? If its the catering company you can also complain directly to them.

I moved my child from his primary school due to the crappy lunchtime supervision - 350 kids on a playground and 2 people ‘supervising’ who were stood together chatting and looking at their phones. Anything is possible and you have done the right thing asking school to look in to it.

Don't go in all guns blazing. Email the head asking if they can try & get the LTA side of things & let the Head know your Daughter has been upset by it all. Let them know what your Daughter has said & that you believe what she's telling you as she's not usually an aggressive child & it's out of character for her to lie. See what they say & take it from there. If there are further incidents with the LTA email again & say you feel it's becoming a problem now & ask what are they going to do about it?