To ask how you deal with naggers

[Imtornanddontknowwhattodo]

I'm sick of being constantly nagged.

Latest is DH. "Where's my wallet?" "Can you do (whatever) for me?". Tonight we had food, drink and finished tidying up. I said is there anything we need to do/you need before I sit down? Asked if he wanted to watch anything.

Him: no.

Me: I'll watch a bit of TV then.

Yet again he talks through, asking random questions and pestering, not just a random chat but constant demands. Yet again I turn the TV off. I can never relax. And we're on holiday!

Do you have people like this and how the hell do you deal with them? Asking in desperation!

Surely he can get his own stuff?

He sounds like an annoying 6 year old. I'd tell a 6 year old that I finish parenting at 8pm so they need to leave me alone after that.

‘I’m relaxing now’ (on repeat).

Why are you asking if he has any more needs and wishes before you sit down and eventually watch something?!

He can and tbf if he's on his feet he gets me food and drink if he's nearer. It's just the endless nagging.

Good idea and I will say that.

A lot of context missing here. What I read is he is looking for normally healthy relationship conversation. Difficult to tell with the limited info you have given

That made me really angry reading that . Personally I'd microwave his wallet, put his head through the TV and start divorce proceedings

Just tell him to shoosh, you're trying to watch TV.

Apparently I just lift the remote and turn the volume up when people try to talk to me. Didn't even realise I did it. My family think its so rude it's actually amusing.

Because I want to be able to sit down in peace without being constantly nagged, so ask beforehand to combat it.

As long as you keep supplying him with answers and service, he'll keep asking. You need to train yourself not to see yourself as the house fixer and finder. Its hard, I'm working on this myself but its taken a few solid 'serious' chats asking people why they think I should serve them to change things.

I don’t understand at all? What do you mean nagged, is he just talking to you or is he asking you to do things for him?

It's not normal convo as in watching a programme and trying to work out whodunnit, have a laugh or make occasional comments.

Oh yes, he's driven me to distraction today.

Good idea to raise the volume!

Just be honest. Tell him everytime you start watching something he talks his way through it. You'd like to watch it in peace and quiet so can he please stop yapping until it's finished. If he asks you anything else during, totally ignore. Or connect your headphones to the TV and watch with those on!

Could you give some examples of the 'nagging'?

You are not his servant.

Bluetooth noise cancelling earbuds tuned into your TV or your music streaming service. It’s bliss.

I haven’t seen any examples of nagging in this thread. Annoying behaviour, but not nagging.

It's a good idea to step back and have boundaries which I'm learning.

Yes, should have brought my headphones!

He was asking where his phone is. Err I don't know, where you last left it? We're staying in a small flat so can't have gone far. Things like that, just wanting my attention.

From what you’ve said he isn’t ‘nagging’ what he is expecting you to hang on his every word As his assigned PA and jump when required.

He's kept asking what to do about the recycling. I said leave it in the bin outside as per the instructions. Rinse and repeat.

Noise cancelling earbuds sound great!

@Fiftyandme That's fair and perhaps I didn't it word it clearly.

My DH nags about unused/leftover food in the fridge. Oh my good lord, I don’t need that in my life.
i just tell him to shut up cos he sounds like his mother.

I don’t ask if there is anything left to do. I Just say I’m done with all my jobs, now I’m going to sit down and watch tv. I don’t need anyone disturbing me. Kitchen is closed and I’m unavailable.

OP, don’t entertain your dh’s comments. You’re busy doing your own thing.

@Nushi21 Good you're assertive and pity you have to be. Good idea.

After turning off the TV I was annoyed and decided to play him at his own game whilst he was playing a computer game. I kept disturbing him which he didn't like and he's now gone to bed in a huff. I said now you know how I feel. It's a shame it's the only way to get a bit of peace and I don't want to be annoying but there you go.

Maybe just don't engage if it's attention seeking "I've already told you what to do with the recycling and now I'm watching TV. Don't ask me again" then ignore.

"I don't know where your phone is, you will have to look for it yourself. Don't ask me again"

True and good point. The broken record technique and playing him at his own game.