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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My daughter isn’t eating!

62 replies

SimpleSong · 30/11/2025 15:40

Sorry, this isn’t an AIBU, but I’m desperate. My DD has had a cough for the last few days, along with a fever, and has been really under the weather. She is 12, and has eaten very little for 5 days now. She says she feels sick and can’t eat. Which I do understand.

The issue is, she has been underweight and is working towards getting up to a goal weight set by her doctor. I am worried that 5 days of very minimal food is going to be really consequential for her. For instance, today she has had a brioche roll and a half a bowl of super noodles. I know neither of these are healthy, but I took her to the shop and let her choose anything she thought she might eat.

I just don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any words of wisdom? Please help.

OP posts:
Original poster
SimpleSong · 30/11/2025 16:52

muggart · 30/11/2025 16:47

this is really weird to me. her body doesn’t want food, she should trust that (unless she’s anorexic) and attempting to push her towards ice cream and other junk food is not what her body needs right now.

i would boil some chicken meat / bones into a broth for her to drink. you can include veggies if you want the nutrients.

but really being underweight for a short period of time isn’t a big deal.

Her growth was previously stunted due to her low weight and she was clinically malnourished. It has been a hard road to get out of that.

OP posts:
Badslipperluck · 30/11/2025 16:54

What about some huel? Even shots of it at a time if she can't manage more

Original poster
SimpleSong · 30/11/2025 17:21

I will order some…

OP posts:
SallyCinnamon92 · 30/11/2025 17:23

Will she drink full fat coke? Obviously not the best thing long term but I had awful ongoing nausea and really struggled when trying to gain weight back post illness, but the sugar from a cold can of coke perked me up quite considerably. Hope shes back to herself soon x

Jk987 · 30/11/2025 17:25

Don’t forget that sometimes as an adult it’s hard to eat for several days when unwell. It’s no different for her. Those vitamin packed milkshakes are great if she’ll have them.

InlandTaipan · 30/11/2025 17:26

muggart · 30/11/2025 16:47

this is really weird to me. her body doesn’t want food, she should trust that (unless she’s anorexic) and attempting to push her towards ice cream and other junk food is not what her body needs right now.

i would boil some chicken meat / bones into a broth for her to drink. you can include veggies if you want the nutrients.

but really being underweight for a short period of time isn’t a big deal.

This isa risky (and potentially dangerous) approach for children who have underlying health issues that suppress their appetite.
With some conditions there is a need to take on calories regardless of how hungry or otherwise a child feels, to the point of tube feeding them or they just become weaker and weaker.

If the OPs daughter has a target weight from a medical professional she needs advice from her medical team, not some random lackwit on the Internet.

Pearlmaster500 · 30/11/2025 17:44

SimpleSong · 30/11/2025 15:48

I’ve already put pressure on her. Now feel like I’ve messed everything up.

Don’t be hard on yourself! Just don’t put any more pressure on her from now, as you said she’s had a brioche and half a bowl of super noodles which to be fair is decent considering she’s poorly. As she gets better her appetite will start to increase hopefully

Pearlmaster500 · 30/11/2025 17:46

SallyCinnamon92 · 30/11/2025 17:23

Will she drink full fat coke? Obviously not the best thing long term but I had awful ongoing nausea and really struggled when trying to gain weight back post illness, but the sugar from a cold can of coke perked me up quite considerably. Hope shes back to herself soon x

Edited

Red cans of coke were the only thing that got me through my latest pregnancy nausea!!

SallyCinnamon92 · 30/11/2025 18:04

Pearlmaster500 · 30/11/2025 17:46

Red cans of coke were the only thing that got me through my latest pregnancy nausea!!

Show quote history

My colleague refers to it as “the little red ambulance” - but usually in relation to hangovers 😆

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 30/11/2025 18:06

SimpleSong · 30/11/2025 15:50

I didn’t know we could get anti nausea tablets. That’s good to know. We have ice cream, protein yoghurts etc but she won’t touch them unfortunately.

You must have heard of travel sickness tablets.

Original poster
SimpleSong · 30/11/2025 18:16

Yes - I have. But the kids ones didn’t have an effect for my children. I also wasn’t sure how they were supposed to work, if they were just anti nausea or if they somehow targeted something in the body to prevent the travel induced nausea. Sorry if that makes me a bit dense!

OP posts:
muggart · 30/11/2025 18:18

InlandTaipan · 30/11/2025 17:26

This isa risky (and potentially dangerous) approach for children who have underlying health issues that suppress their appetite.
With some conditions there is a need to take on calories regardless of how hungry or otherwise a child feels, to the point of tube feeding them or they just become weaker and weaker.

If the OPs daughter has a target weight from a medical professional she needs advice from her medical team, not some random lackwit on the Internet.

Show quote history

Well no need to be rude. However I will say that I have been there with a child who couldn’t eat properly for around two years and if I’d outsourced all my thinking to the medical professionals then I doubt we would have ever have come through it! In our case they knew absolutely nothing and were pushing biscuits on our child which was the last thing she needed.

Anyway my comment wasn’t about the longer term management of her weight (since none of us know the underlying cause of that so why would i give advice on that) but about the wisdom of pushing unhealthy foods on her when she has a fever and her digestion is probably slowing down to protect her. Recovery from malnutrition isn’t going to be linear and it may be less stressful for the OP if she accepts that as her daughter no doubt has plenty of ups and downs in her future.

efeslight · 30/11/2025 18:34

I also recommend full fat coke, McDonald's fries and milkshake if she is up to that. More super noodles if she has already tried half a portion

Original poster
SimpleSong · 01/12/2025 20:56

It’s now day 6 - all she has had is half a bowl of cereal, a glass of coke, a small packet of raisins and a fruit slurper thing. She’s not recovering at all 😢

OP posts:
pteromum · 01/12/2025 21:05

OP I think you need to take action asap and get her to a doctor to face the very serious reality that she has an eating disorder.

I say this as a mum, and with two godchildren with same.

do not hang about. The system is broken.

Barney16 · 01/12/2025 21:08

Last time I was very poorly I couldn't face food and if I ate it I was sick. But I found I could eat the co op equivalent of Ritz crackers and then drank ordinary lemonade, not diet. It kept me going, something like that?

Original poster
SimpleSong · 01/12/2025 21:52

is it normal to eat this little for so many days when unwell??

OP posts:
Original poster
SimpleSong · 01/12/2025 22:24

??

OP posts:
Silvercoffeenosugar · 01/12/2025 22:35

This is so scary as a parent - my child has ARFID and was almost hospitalised with lack of eating. It is such an awful thing to experience - so lot of thoughts coming your way….
sometimes ice can help nausea, frozen peas, fruit juice in ice cube blocks, can freeze the supplement drinks (we had chocolate ones) into ice cubes - sometimes this settled the nausea and got a few calories in, smoothies also. But it was literally painfully small amounts. Taking a knock because of illness is so frustrating and it can take so long to build up. Hopefully your GP is helping? Ours called me almost daily for a while (unbelievable I know).
No matter how panicked we were feeling we were told not to pressure her, and this was so so hard.
small hot chocolates with full fat milk, squirt cream and marshmallows sometimes worked (often didn’t).

Trampoline · 01/12/2025 22:44

Is she urinating regularly? Most doctors will monitor fluids as the most important factor - if she's not going for wees then she may be dehydrated.
As others have said, it's not at all uncommon for kids to go off their food after a virus or bug. Fluids are the most important thing to keep up with.
I hope she's on the mend soon, if you're very concerned, have her checked out tomorrow- try not to worry.

Balloonhearts · 01/12/2025 22:47

If its a lingering bug, yeah, it's normal. Her body knows what it can handle and if you push her to eat, the food will likely be violently rejected. That's why you starve for a couple days when you have noro or similar but you just don't feel hungry.

Avoid dairy completely, go with dry salty carbs. Crackers are a good bet, toast, cheese twists are my go to. Make drinks ice cold. Easier to stomach.

Hankunamatata · 01/12/2025 22:50

You can buy the fortifying drinks that you get on prescription. They are a bit expensive but might be a short term solution. Different pharmacies have access to different suppliers so worth shopping about.

Glindaa · 01/12/2025 22:55

Digestive biscuits? With multi vitamin tablet?

muggart · 01/12/2025 22:59

After fasting, stomach capacity does shrink (temporarily) so it can feel uncomfortable to eat larger portions. hopefully this isn’t a major setback.

SumUp · 01/12/2025 23:01

Given her history, I would be tempted to take her back to the GP, for your own peace of mind too.

She probably is in that cycle of feeling nauseous due to lack of food, then nausea when she eats. If she hasn’t eaten properly for a while, she will need nourishment that is easy to digest. It sounds as though you are offering her the right things more or less. Definitely avoid anything overly fatty / oily, fibrous or raw.