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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to push back when shops ask for my details when I just want to pay?

131 replies

ISimplyDontBelieveIT · 30/11/2025 11:59

I popped into The White Company today to buy one small item and use the 20 percent off. I normally order online, but this was a cheap item and I didn’t want to pay delivery.

At the till the assistant asked if I was on their mailing list. I said yes (I am). She then asked for my postcode, which I gave, and then she asked me for my surname. My surname is foreign and long and I couldn't be bothered to spell it. I just wanted to pay for my item and leave. I asked why she needed my surname and she said it was to check if I was on their mailing list. That annoyed me as I had literally just confirmed that I was. Why should I go through this whole nonsense especially for such a tiny purchase?? I felt irritated but I know she was just following protocol so I stayed polite and gave her a short version of my surname. She obviously couldn’t find me and then asked if I wanted her to enter my details again. I said no, I just wanted to pay, which I did.

I left the shop feeling oddly irritated by the whole thing. I know a lot of shops do this and it's not a new thing, but it felt like far too much admin for a quick purchase. Would this have grated on anyone else? What’s the best way to shut this down right at the start?

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 01/12/2025 07:15

The other thing I hate is having to press yes or no to a charity donation. I just want to pay!!!

Iocanepowder · 01/12/2025 07:21

I always decline.

It’s really not a good thing to let so many companies have your data.

I have also experienced companies like Jack Wills claim they will only use my email for the receipt then of course i’ve had shit lods of marketing from them.

BakedBeing · 01/12/2025 07:22

I just say ‘oh I’m fine thanks’ and smile to whatever the question is about mailing list or post code or whatever. Even though it’s not a grammatically correct answer to the question it always works and is polite.

Lastfroginthebox · 01/12/2025 07:23

Cosyslippers2019 · 01/12/2025 07:11

I always just say no thanks when they ask for my email address. Recently I paid cash for a few things in Home Bargains and they wouldn't give me a receipt. I've since discovered that shops are not legally required to issue receipts at all!

Yes - I just looked that up and was surprised to find out that they're not legally obliged to provide a receipt! In some countries they actually insist you take one.

PersephoneParlormaid · 01/12/2025 07:25

I had New Look refuse me a paper receipt so I asked how I could prove I hadn’t shop lifted it, and what I’d do if I needed to return it. They just looked at me blankly and I’ve never shopped there since.

Ilovemyshed · 01/12/2025 07:28

I got a paper receipt from New Look the other day. I never give my details.

CosyMintFish · 01/12/2025 07:33

No need to give anyone short shrift

Just say ‘no thanks, I prefer not to be on mailing lists’

’no thanks, I prefer paper receipts’

You might have to repeat yourself once or twice but it’s always worked for me.

It’s not the shop assistant or even the manager - it’s head office who want to use your details for marketing including sell your personal details to third party companies.

PuppyMonkey · 01/12/2025 07:38

The last time I was in New Look, which is about a year ago, the shop assistant was very adamant she simply could not give me a paper receipt as they don’t do them any more “because of the environment.” I just put my foot down and kept insisting and eventually she gave me a paper receipt but warned it would be the last time she could do it. Grin

Swiftie1878 · 01/12/2025 07:40

Cosyslippers2019 · 01/12/2025 07:11

I always just say no thanks when they ask for my email address. Recently I paid cash for a few things in Home Bargains and they wouldn't give me a receipt. I've since discovered that shops are not legally required to issue receipts at all!

I think they are if they demand them for refunds.

WinterHangingBasket · 01/12/2025 07:50

Clarks are buggers for this. Insisting on email addresses, claiming their printer isn't working, then saying the printer is only attached to the other till so they would have to restart the transaction if you are sure you only want a paper receipt etc. It can be a mildly entertaining game to play occasionally, how many hoops will they try to make you jump through and how big will they let the queue get before agreeing that you can in fact have a paper receipt.

ParisianLady · 01/12/2025 08:08

I usually just ask for paper, and if occasionally pushed further for an email said sometimes use the ‘oh, I’m sorry, I don’t have an email address’ and that always works, even in blasted New Look.

Myblueclematis · 01/12/2025 08:46

PersephoneParlormaid · 01/12/2025 07:15

The other thing I hate is having to press yes or no to a charity donation. I just want to pay!!!

Yes, this is quite irritating too and is off putting when buying anything.

I don't want to donate to a charity of your company choice even if it is a small amount and I want a paper receipt. My email address has my full name on it so I never give it out to any old random shop that requests it.

Valentando · 01/12/2025 09:09

Well, what I have learnt from this thread is not to shop in New Look!

I don't want to spell out my email address in the middle of a shop and have it used for endless marketing spam.

Also can't believe they would push the "save the trees" excuse in a shop full of polyester fast fashion...

PollyBell · 01/12/2025 09:17

Well if it say I am a member of whatever shops loyalty system unless I give my details how on earth would they know them just by looking at me I dont think they can link my details to me by carrier pigeon

You dont have to join just say no to joining and pay like normal, they are doing their job it is not because they are bored and have nothing better to do

EmeraldShamrock000 · 01/12/2025 09:21

Most stores use this annoying system. Staff have to ask, they are marked on email addresses on their KPI report.
The staff member was following procedures.
Next time, just say I'm not interested.

myblueskirt · 01/12/2025 09:27

When they start asking for the mobile number or email I know they are seeking my personal details to sign me
up for marketing. If I’m not signed up for the loyalty program and/or have no time, I ask for a paper receipt in a friendly, yet firm voice. I haven’t had a problem yet.

Topseyt123 · 01/12/2025 09:49

Just politely (and firmly) decline. That's what I do and have never had an issue. In fact, it shuts the conversation down right at the beginning before it really gets going.

The only time I do give my details at point of purchase in a store would be in one such as Currys if buying a large household appliance for which they are needed for the delivery and the warranty. That's not very often though as I usually source those through AO.com these days if needed.

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 01/12/2025 09:53

ISimplyDontBelieveIT · 01/12/2025 06:26

Thank you for all the replies. This is definitely not about blaming the shop staff who might cringe themselves at having to do this. I stay polite always, and I know they’re just doing what their jobs requires.

Yesterday at WC I simply tried to pay and get on with my day. At the till, it started with a simple “are you on our mailing list?”, but whether I replied yes or no it didn't make a difference, I was immediately pulled into the whole run of details. By the time I realised it, I was already in the middle of a transaction I didn’t want. That’s the part that leaves me with a bit of a negative residue afterwards, a sense of an interaction that felt off for no good reason. It’s similar to the tactics used by street canvassers in town: the initial phrase is phrased in such a way that anything other than engaging feels rude.

When I see canvassers in the street I walk the other way. I don't want to have to avoid shopping face to face.

You're right to compare their actions to those of the chuggers in the street.

Although the individual staff in the stores may have little choice as to how they earn a living, essentially, many of them are being trained to scam you. Of course, the big bosses will frame it as 'encouraging positive customer engagement', but it is in reality just scamming customers - the only difference being that their desired 'prize' is your personal data for aggressive marketing purposes (playing the long game to get your money) rather than directly coming after your money like 'traditional' scammers.

RaraRachael · 01/12/2025 09:54

It's fine to say just politely decline. In 99% of shops I've done this no problem.
Not New Look. I felt like I was holding up the queue on a busy Saturday afternoon because the guy flatly refused to give me a paper receipt.

Then I go to Primark and I have to get a paper receipt to scan and exit the self service till area.

Bonkers.

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 01/12/2025 09:54

Valentando · 01/12/2025 09:09

Well, what I have learnt from this thread is not to shop in New Look!

I don't want to spell out my email address in the middle of a shop and have it used for endless marketing spam.

Also can't believe they would push the "save the trees" excuse in a shop full of polyester fast fashion...

Like the supermarkets who preach to the consumers about not wasting plastic, whilst they sell bunches of bananas in utterly pointless plastic bags!

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 01/12/2025 09:58

WinterHangingBasket · 01/12/2025 07:50

Clarks are buggers for this. Insisting on email addresses, claiming their printer isn't working, then saying the printer is only attached to the other till so they would have to restart the transaction if you are sure you only want a paper receipt etc. It can be a mildly entertaining game to play occasionally, how many hoops will they try to make you jump through and how big will they let the queue get before agreeing that you can in fact have a paper receipt.

I'd be half tempted to play them at their own game and sign them up to be spammed and hassled by companies that repair printers - considering their extraordinary run of bad luck with them!

Otherwise, just keep insisting that you can't give them your email address, as "It doesn't work". When they ask how your email address can just not work, tell them it must be hosted by the same company that they keep buying all of their substandard printers from Grin

InfoSecInTheCity · 01/12/2025 10:00

I usually just say ‘I’d like a paper receipt’ except in New Look, New Look are an absolute nightmare insisting that they cannot give you a paper receipt which is a bold faced lie, so now when they say ‘can I have your email address for the receipt’ I just say ‘No’, and if they ask again I say ‘No you can’t’ and if they tell me they have to have it, I ask them for a copy of their Privacy Policy and a mechanism to refuse consent for marketing and processing of personal data. It never goes beyond that’s their printer suddenly starts working and I get a pointed comment about not losing the receipt because I won’t be able to return the item without it.

Andromed1 · 01/12/2025 10:30

You can stop this immediately by saying No thanks, I never give out my email address unless it's essential, which it isn't in this case. Then
pay. No need to feel intimidated.

lolawasashitgirl · 01/12/2025 11:52

I have just received my online order (trousers) made from New Look. Was exactly what I wanted and I have a blue light discount. I have just ordered a second pair. So much easier than the shop bullshit. They will never see me in there again.

Their online system has just superseded the need to me to endure the F2F crap. Obviously they do have my details but that is a given. It’s a consensual arrangement that I enter in to online.

If I go F2F then there is no advantage any more…. I can return items online if they don’t fit.

LoveSandbanks · 01/12/2025 12:04

nomas · 30/11/2025 13:02

I don’t see the big deal, you’ve signed up to them with your email and name to get their 20% off emails.

It’s not like you’ve walked in off the street and they’re demanding the details, you signed up.

Sometimes we just want a quick and easy transaction, without the spelling of our surname.

other times we don’t want to give a retail outlet our email address because they e had several data breaches and are slow to report them and haven’t corrected the areas which led to them in the first place.