To refuse to pay this nursery charge

[Jeronnemo]

2 children in nursery. Been really happy there. A few niggles but nothing major. This month's bill had a £40 per child charge for an activity that they only do in winter. It usually kicks in in December through to April but this time they've charged it early. The issue is that they've not actually done the activity yet. I spoke to the manager about it and she was very abrasive and came out with some absolute nonsense about why it was on the bill. She lied and expected me to just suck it up. I'm livid but the conversation is over as far as she's concerned and if I push it any further, I risk being asked to leave. Do I just write it off for the sake of peace and my blood pressure?

Then why wouldn’t the nursery manager just say that then?

@Didimum Sounds like the OP has has previous years of paying for the winter activity it’s its usual pay structure before, so I believe she would know how they charge for it

Yes, but sometimes things change. Maybe it was or was not communicated, who knows. I’m guessing any communication was shot down with rigid thinking and responses indicating the nursery manager was stupid which is what caused the perceived abruptness? In any event, there is no issue unless they keep charging in Feb if the activity stops in Feb and is not held in Mar. No need for a carry on unless that occurs, as then it becomes an issue.

I read her posts. And I was getting confused. Op was intentionally not clearing up the main question, probably because it will make them wrong. The activity is going ahead in Dec, the payment was made early and as long as the number of payments match the number of activities then theres no issue.

Well I've had about two hours sleep and I seem to have understood it fine in my dazed state 😅

OP, if you feel you can't complain in writing without risking your kid's place, you could always go to your local paper with the story and request to remain anonymous?

@Didimum Then why wouldn’t the nursery manager just say that then?

Maybe they did but OP was so riled up they didn’t listen, or went in all guns blazing not allowing the manager to explain, was offensive and the manager just shut it down. I mean, maybe they acted there like they have acted here, who knows?

Again, maybe it was planned for Nov but for some reason (unexpected staff absence, things ordered not arriving in time or something else) it didn’t go ahead in Nov as planned. So, maybe there will be no Dec payment in lieu? Or, maybe there will be no payment added the month before it is due to drop? Until ascertaining this why blow your top to the extent of getting on the internet and acting like a dick?

I wouldn’t be happy with this and you’re entitled to question it. An extra £40 for every kid is a lot of money. Sounds liked nursery are trying it on, and seeing what they can get away with- hence the defensive response.
Depending on what’s in the contract, I’d be asking to not do the activity. Extra activities should be optional.
if your otherwise very happy with the care then you might just have to suck it up, if not look for a new childcare provider,

In the first post you said they've 'not done the activity yet'. In a later post you said the activity 'isn't bring done'. That is nowhere near clear!

This was the detail that was originally missing and why your post wasn’t clear as it seemed as though you paid in November for an activity that would happen in December

I'm not intentionally being evasive at all. Your recounting of the situation couldn't be more wrong.

OK, fair enough. Having re-read my op, I can see that there's a certain amount of ambiguity that could be open to misinterpretation but hopefully my next couple of posts clarified things.

Of course you're not being intentionally evasive , what could possibly have given me that idea, please accept my apologies!

Did the Nursery manager actually lie? Because you've said her response was speedily delivered word salad. Was her explanation unclear / not to the point or did she actually tell lies? And if she did tell lies, how do you know its a lie?

Well that’s just fiction until you know the details. Which you don’t. Why can’t you take OP’s post at face value and answer her actual question?

Why do you have to dig further and unnecessarily when it’s not her query to the forum or something she’s confused about?

OP has acted accordingly here. 30 people don’t need to ask the same question repeatedly to which she has already responded. She has only responded with rudeness to rude posters.

My mother was a real believer in honesty, truth telling and straight up fair dealing but I witnessed her scupper several mostly good situations similar to yours by insisting on "what was right".

You are in the right and it is absolutely Okay that you queried this. It's really annoying and dishonest if they are charging you £80 a month and then not doing the activity. However, I would think carefully about what your bigger value is here - your kids are happy there and presumably settled so consider it in the context of your whole situation and whether is it worth risking this for the £80 per month it is costing you?

On reading this I would send her an upbeat email along the lines of 'we have been charged X for the month of November but as discussed X did not attend this activity in November. Please can you deduct this from our December invoice. Kind regards etc etc '

And get other parents to do the same.

This is a good idea.

Right, I think I've got the situation now but from your initial posts it wasn't clear at all.

Am I correct in thinking that you were charged this amount on the November bill, when the activity usually happens in the winter months. You paid it thinking that they were doing the activity early but it has now transpired that the activity wasn't done in November at all. You queried it with the nursery manager but got a load of bullshit back off her. You pay for the activities monthly so you will be expecting another £40 for December, another £40 for January etc. You are happy to pay this when the DC actually do the activity but when it turns out that you have paid the charge in November as well when the activity didn't happen you are rightly fuming because you have been charged for nothing.

If I was in your position then I would refuse to pay the December charge considering that you paid £40 in November but the activity didn't happen. Effectively you are in £40 credit for the activity to the nursery and they are being unreasonable to demand another £40 in December when the November activity which you also paid for didn't happen. They can't expect money for nothing.

Send a letter before claim (templates found online), signed by as many as the other parents as you can convince to take part. Collective pressure is key to avoid repercussions for any one individual. They may be happy to threaten cutting ties with just one or two of you, but they’re much less likely to maintain that attitude when it pertains to 80% of the class and a similar proportion of their funding for the next month. The sticking point will be the weak kneed parents, you’ll have to get half or more to sign I’d think. Get on the group WhatsApp (or start one) and start that conversation.

Your responses on this thread do not evidence your ability to be diplomatic, and as of now you have not provided details on what the lies are so that we can form an opinion.

It sounds like you don’t like or trust them, so remove your children.

Your explanation of the situation is not clear. Stop being rude to people.

Multiple posters haven’t understood the point you were trying to make and now you’re accusing them of doing that deliberately.

it’s not surprising that your discussions with the nursery haven’t gone well.

I dont mean this in a smart way at all, but why do you have to pay then? I would have assumed it was something like little day trips or someone coming in to teach yoga/music or something of value?
It seems a little odd/unfair asking you to pay at all for something that requires no extra materials or outside resources.
Do they donate the money to charity in this case?
I think an email is the best bet, you will surely be entitled to a clear response then.
Have you spoken to any of the other parents? (Im reading what updates I can, but its moving fast and no time to read them all so apologies if you have answered above)

You need a face to face meeting with the manager, scheduled in. To ask about this issue but also why they are not replying to emails more generally. Ideally get other parents on board.

But as others have said, don’t be surprised if your DC is edged out, especially if they have a waiting list. I imagine that if you underpay you’d be given notice to leave anyway.

TBH it sounds like you’ve lost trust in the nursery anyway so you might want to start looking elsewhere. If your DC is old enough I’d consider a school nursery- IMO (4 kids) they were much better and cheaper although the hours were a pain to work with if you work.