Another UC 2 child cap thread…

[IWantAShitzu]

Sorry.

Probably every one has had enough of these now.

I have seen so much uproar over the lifting of the two child limit.

And, I get it. There are so many people leaching off the system and it will only get worse.

Background - 35 year old married mum of four aged 11 and under.

Always worked - went back to work after maternity leave each time when I had the first three. Loved my career, best work/life balance. Husband, despite being epileptic and had a stroke works full time and earns a decent income (on paper) - no benefits claimed as not entitled.

Finally got to the point in my career I was happy to stay in until I retired. All came crashing down when my youngest was diagnosed with a severe life limiting genetic disorder. Requires 24h care, tube fed, blind, cannot sit up and is unlikely to walk or talk, daily seizures and regular blue light admissions to hospital.

I decided to give up my job to become a full time carer. We had to remortgage our home to adapt it to his needs as we are not eligible for support with this.

Started claiming UC which has been a huge help. And I am delighted that the limit has been removed. This essentially means we get a full food shop extra per month without having to scrape each last penny.

I know I won’t be the only person in this situation - please remember that for all the ones who will take advantage of the limit being thrown out - there are so many families who have been through life changing difficulties through no fault of their own, and this will make such a difference xx

The benefits system is fair and is supporting @IWantAShitzu and all 4 of her dc - so quite what your issue is I’m not sure as this is a perfectly valid benefit claim . The government recognises all dc on claims. You don’t get to override that and say that what you think is somehow superior to the law.

Also @Periperi2025 who exactly is missing out ?

All the couples not having kids, or stopping at one or two when they long for more, because they know that planning for unpredictable but not unexpected future events and expenses matters.

We all get to potentially override that at every election day. That is democracy.

It’s very sad how you bitterly begrudge a disabled child and their family the level of support they need based on imaginary scenarios where others supposedly miss out. My thoughts are with @IWantAShitzu but also with you @Periperi2025 i really hope you can have a realisation and become a better and kinder person

I am honestly not being PA - you sound angry, and unhappy. Do you feel directly affected by this somehow ?

Also the benefit cap in general is still in place so unless a family has a disability they won’t be much better off , it’s only the most difficult circumstance like that of OP where the extra money will be part of the award in full ?

Well, yes, because, like many many other people i have chosen to have the number of children i can support financially, long term (one) despite wanting more. So, i absolutely don't agree with funding other peoples children beyond 2 (or 3+ only when the second pregnancy is multiples), and this is a valid political view shared by many, not an expression of unhappiness or anger. I am however, angry at Rachel reeves for her decisions and behaviours and will vote accordingly in the next election.

52.6% of population (including pensioners) received more in benefits than they paid in taxes. Year ending April 2023.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/personalandhouseholdfinances/incomeandwealth/bulletins/theeffectsoftaxesandbenefitsonhouseholdincome/financialyearending2023

How naive - Everyone on sickness & disability benefits & receiving NHS & social care will deserve them & need them.
Op you are clearly one of the deserved for benefits💚

I don’t agree with but do acknowledge your point of view. I’m sorry that you feel you have had to limit your family and now feel resentful due to changes made to the benefit system. As you say you can vote according to your views at the next election. Thankyou for explaining though I do feel it’s very important to hear all views and I respect you for answering my question

OP - please ignore that hateful cunts on this thread.

Ive had the “survival of the fittest “ etc bullshit from resentful “humans” on this site in relation to having one severely disabled child (who has nothing like the level of needs your poor baby has).

I hope Mumsnet @mnhq actually bans those posters because there’s nothing more disgusting and vomit-inducing than people arguing a 1 year old baby, your 4th out of 3 that you’ve supported financially and loved and brought to the world healthy and who will undoubtedly grow to be the fabled and glorified “net contributors”, should not be costing the NHS etc., adding the fucking utterly pointless (put that baby back in utero?) and self-righteous and utterly obnoxious and inhuman comments around the cost of a profoundly disabled baby,

I wish you all the best and you are a brave person to have put this out there.

I was forced into having a DNR put in place on my daughter at 8 weeks old. Great Ormond Street Hospital rightly detected that it was utterly inappropriate and I’ve agreed with medics that my husband and I are more than capable of deciding if she becomes unwell enough what would be in her best interests.

People forget that it’s your actual birthed baby - not a fucking social experiment or hypothetical not-yet-existing child.

I’m so angry for you OP and you are a better person than me to take the shit talk on the chin.

Any time you need to talk DM me. I send my best wishes.

Isn’t the line that you don’t pay for the time it takes to do a job, you pay for the time it has taken for that person to get the skills to do that job? So a doctor with 20 years post qualification experience has been training or working in medicine for around 27 years and they will have spent more time and effort and money gaining those skills than a) anybody under 25 is likely to have done getting theirs and b) anyone who works in, say, cleaning will ever do?

And I suspect the same is true of organising systems - which is why execs are better paid than retail workers. It’s actually very difficult which is why systems are so often inadequate - and why people like the Post Office execs have been so extensively disgraced; if you accept that level of job expectations are high.

The job is worth more because of the investment that skilled worker has made in themselves - they are just harder to find and almost nobody could duck in, whereas actually many people are pretty good at cleaning.

My firm view is that a society should be judged on how it treats its most vulnerable. Lifting the cap goes some way to addressing this. It also removes the inhumane assessment a woman must go through when her third child was the result of assault/ non consensual sex etc.

The OPs situation illustrates beautifully a situation the state should support.

Citing the AD bill is a false equivalence. Again, it serves to protect the most vulnerable, those at imminent death, and gives them agency over what their path will be. And it will actually be cost neutral; yes, it will save the cost of final months care but there will be a cost to providing the service which will be commissioned by the nhs.

Before banging on about money think about the society you want to live in. One that treats disabled children and their families humanely? One that gives agency to dying people? I’d go further - we need to do more for the prison population as well. They are also vulnerable and need support and rehabilitation.

yes these things cost money but they are also about societal choices. Again, think carefully about the society you want to live in.

I think the point is that if it was a first or second child the Op had with significant disabilities, she may well have stopped at two
But they had they had four children assuming they could support four children nobody knows what's going to happen in lifed
I had two children my second child had complex disabilities despite our plans we now rely on benefits

Yes - because they'll get a child element for each of their four children. Currently they only get a child element for two of them.

Benefits are there as a safety net. The OP genuinely needs that safety net and more!
I can't believe how nasty some posters are on here. OP, please ignore them, they would change their tune if they would wake up one morning in similar circumstances.

Thank you so much for your very kind post. I would love to chat. It can be such a lonely place having a seriously unwell child. I hope your little girl is doing well now?

Honestly it’s clear this periperi poster has never had to endure the things that we have. I’m glad I have enabled myself to move past people like this, all I think to myself is that my beautiful little boy has only ever known pure, unconditional love, which I believe this poster is completely lacking.

I wonder if their views would change should their one child become seriously unwell?

It happens.

I know it all too well sadly,

An example - 13 year old completely healthy, struck down with a serious condition last New Year’s Eve, he passed away two days ago.

If this was their child, would they see them as a drain on society? I think not.

It’s irrelevant how many children you have.
Things can change in an instant.

Sending love right back at you xx