Page 9 | AIBU to not get the table grabbing behaviour at a cafe?

IncognitoPanda · 2025-11-28T13:29:23+00:00

It’s Black Friday - needless to say it’s heaving. Queue of maybe 10 people at a cafe where you order at the counter and tables generally very busy. I cannot believe the number of people who think it’s reasonable to put one person in the queue whilst the other smugly nabs a table as people leave to sit saving it for their party when people who have queued and paid cannot find a table by the time their drinks are made. AIBU to go and join them at their table and make awkward small talk whilst their buddy still queues so that my coffee doesn’t go cold as a solo shopper?

FuzzySnail3 · 30/11/2025 16:18

Nearly50omg · 30/11/2025 14:21

A lot of M&S cafes they have someone telling people they can’t sit at the tables unless they have queued and ordered and got their food etc as other people are waiting in the queue and not nabbing tables just to sit at an empty table for 20 mins while someone else in the queue wanders found and could have drunk their coffee etc by the time the person in the queue is finished! Selfish and entitled behaviour which unfortunately the world has gone to the dogs for especially since Covid

It’s not selfish it is 100% normal I’m a cafe. Only on MN is this somehow poor form.

Om a superset note, M&S cafe is disappointing, I’m surprised it was heaving. Tesco is the best supermarket cafe and they have spaces to sit

cardibach · 30/11/2025 17:08

Blarn · 30/11/2025 14:32

This was done a while ago. You get a table then order, otherwise you are left standing with food and drink getting in the way. Or the person at the till asks, "what table are you at?" so they can bring the food over and you have to reply that you don't have a table yet and they are left wondering why you don't understand how ordering food and drinks works.

Edited

Most coffee shops and small cafes don’t do this. You either wait for the order (eg Costa) or get something with a number on.

crazeekat · 30/11/2025 17:58

Who wants to stand with a tray of food and drinks that prob coast a fortune and nowhere to sit? Of course u look for a seat first, especially with kids or elderly with u who may need a hand.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 30/11/2025 20:20

nomas · 30/11/2025 13:57

Sounds lovely! Do you have a pic?

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You can see it in the Google images pics for this one in Rovaniemi: https://maps.app.goo.gl/3ZFYHxKcNYuC5mtK6

Not to mention this is THE most family-oriented destination in the country, and it still has tables for one!

(I went to Lapland solo at 32)

dynamiccactus · 01/12/2025 16:57

PollyBell · 28/11/2025 21:49

So if you go to cafe and you have to queue to order food and save a table that is considered wrong

Yet if they come to your table to take your order that is perfectly fine if you are sat there waiting

Why is is really any different?

It isn't.

Today I went to a cafe where they asked for your table number when you ordered at the counter, and then brought it over to you.

Yesterday I went to one where the menus were on the table, but you had to order at the counter.

Are people really trying to tell me that I am not supposed to choose a table first in either instance?

Feelingsunny · 02/12/2025 09:36

This is so simple. At the local, very popular, garden centre cafe you walk in and see a table with 'reserved' signs in front of you. Take one, find your table and put it down. Your table has a number, which you quote when you go back to the counter to give your order. Obviously you can leave people sitting at your reserved table while the order is placed, but if you're on your own it's perfect. No need to leave coats or bags laying around to possibly be nicked.

DarkPassenger1 · 02/12/2025 09:49

You're a silly sausage OP. Why would someone want to risk purchasing something and then not being able to find a table to eat/drink it? Of course you secure a table first as whether you manage to do this or not dictates whether you choose to order anything or go elsewhere. Do you really think grown adults stand there in a queue, order a bowl of soup, and then take a gamble on whether they can get a table or not?

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 02/12/2025 12:43

Feelingsunny · 02/12/2025 09:36

This is so simple. At the local, very popular, garden centre cafe you walk in and see a table with 'reserved' signs in front of you. Take one, find your table and put it down. Your table has a number, which you quote when you go back to the counter to give your order. Obviously you can leave people sitting at your reserved table while the order is placed, but if you're on your own it's perfect. No need to leave coats or bags laying around to possibly be nicked.

This is a brilliant idea, I wish everywhere would adopt it.

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 02/12/2025 12:48

DarkPassenger1 · 02/12/2025 09:49

You're a silly sausage OP. Why would someone want to risk purchasing something and then not being able to find a table to eat/drink it? Of course you secure a table first as whether you manage to do this or not dictates whether you choose to order anything or go elsewhere. Do you really think grown adults stand there in a queue, order a bowl of soup, and then take a gamble on whether they can get a table or not?

But this is exactly what you're forcing singles to do - this or risk having their stuff taken.

Maybe you don't care about that, but there's another reason. If everyone orders and then gets a table, tables are only occupied for as long as it takes to eat. If people occupy a table while someone's queuing, tables are occupied for longer so the café can't accommodate as many people in the same time frame, So it's actually in everyone's best interests to queue first, provided they're able to.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 02/12/2025 13:20

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 02/12/2025 12:48

But this is exactly what you're forcing singles to do - this or risk having their stuff taken.

Maybe you don't care about that, but there's another reason. If everyone orders and then gets a table, tables are only occupied for as long as it takes to eat. If people occupy a table while someone's queuing, tables are occupied for longer so the café can't accommodate as many people in the same time frame, So it's actually in everyone's best interests to queue first, provided they're able to.

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Again, when you enter the cafe and see tables free:

Queue first - you have no idea how many tables are/will be free
Table first - you know exactly how many tables are free

Mind you, I'd never stay in a cafe with a massive queue anyway - 20m wait just to order, some are saying?! Queuing usually takes 5-10m max, surely?

Badbadbunny · 02/12/2025 13:37

Feelingsunny · 02/12/2025 09:36

This is so simple. At the local, very popular, garden centre cafe you walk in and see a table with 'reserved' signs in front of you. Take one, find your table and put it down. Your table has a number, which you quote when you go back to the counter to give your order. Obviously you can leave people sitting at your reserved table while the order is placed, but if you're on your own it's perfect. No need to leave coats or bags laying around to possibly be nicked.

Yes, a good idea, but if the venue doesn't offer that service (most don't) the customers can't use it can they??

Badbadbunny · 02/12/2025 13:41

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 02/12/2025 12:48

But this is exactly what you're forcing singles to do - this or risk having their stuff taken.

Maybe you don't care about that, but there's another reason. If everyone orders and then gets a table, tables are only occupied for as long as it takes to eat. If people occupy a table while someone's queuing, tables are occupied for longer so the café can't accommodate as many people in the same time frame, So it's actually in everyone's best interests to queue first, provided they're able to.

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Nail on the head. People "hogging" tables before being served are reducing the overall capacity of the cafe. Of course, it's up to the cafe owners themselves to decide how much of a problem that is. Just like it's up to the owners whether they buy a cheaper coffee/drinks machine that takes forever to make a cup of coffee etc or whether to buy a more expensive model that is quicker, to reduce serving times etc. Customers are pretty much at the mercy of the cafe owners so can only make the best of the situation as they see it upon entry/waiting in the queue. I know we've certainly decided not to bother with hot drinks when the cafe is one of those with a stupidly slow hot drinks machine and just get some bottled cold drink instead.

SharonEllis · 02/12/2025 14:25

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 02/12/2025 12:48

But this is exactly what you're forcing singles to do - this or risk having their stuff taken.

Maybe you don't care about that, but there's another reason. If everyone orders and then gets a table, tables are only occupied for as long as it takes to eat. If people occupy a table while someone's queuing, tables are occupied for longer so the café can't accommodate as many people in the same time frame, So it's actually in everyone's best interests to queue first, provided they're able to.

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Exactly this!!

dynamiccactus · 02/12/2025 16:41

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 02/12/2025 12:48

But this is exactly what you're forcing singles to do - this or risk having their stuff taken.

Maybe you don't care about that, but there's another reason. If everyone orders and then gets a table, tables are only occupied for as long as it takes to eat. If people occupy a table while someone's queuing, tables are occupied for longer so the café can't accommodate as many people in the same time frame, So it's actually in everyone's best interests to queue first, provided they're able to.

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Well firstly if you are single and somewhere is busy you go elsewhere. If I am on my own, I do.

And secondly who says that people leave as soon as they've finished eating?

It is not making a difference to the capacity of the cafe. In fact you could argue it the other way - people won't go in if they think they won't have a table when they have got their food.

Plus - all the cafe owners who use order at table, numbers for tables, waitress service seem to manage just fine.

dynamiccactus · 02/12/2025 16:43

And there are hybrid places too - you go up and order your food, take your drinks back to your table and then they bring over the food. Sometimes they give you a flag or one of those buzzer things, but more often you give them a table number or they remember where you were sitting.

Whammyammy · 02/12/2025 17:13

Sillysoggyspaniel · 28/11/2025 13:30

I would always make sure I had somewhere to sit before ordering.

This. I'm not going to pay for food and drunks if we have nowhere to sit.
Our local garden centre cafe require a table number upon placing an order. Hard to do without a table.....

Whammyammy · 02/12/2025 17:22

Drinks, certainly not paying for drunks

JKFan · 02/12/2025 17:25

dynamiccactus · 02/12/2025 16:41

Well firstly if you are single and somewhere is busy you go elsewhere. If I am on my own, I do.

And secondly who says that people leave as soon as they've finished eating?

It is not making a difference to the capacity of the cafe. In fact you could argue it the other way - people won't go in if they think they won't have a table when they have got their food.

Plus - all the cafe owners who use order at table, numbers for tables, waitress service seem to manage just fine.

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I can see both sides to the general argument and I also like places that I have been where you can put a reserved sign on the table, but I strongly resent your suggestion that, as a single person, I should go somewhere to eat if somewhere is busy. It would be more logical to say the larger parties should go elsewhere to reduce the busyness, but I would doubt they would want to do so either.

justpassmethemouse · 08/12/2025 14:55

I’m currently queueing in a cafe with DH, 2 x BIL and SIL and DN. All 6 of us are queuing, plus pram.

Made me think of you guys x