AIBU to not get the table grabbing behaviour at a cafe?

[IncognitoPanda]

It’s Black Friday - needless to say it’s heaving. Queue of maybe 10 people at a cafe where you order at the counter and tables generally very busy. I cannot believe the number of people who think it’s reasonable to put one person in the queue whilst the other smugly nabs a table as people leave to sit saving it for their party when people who have queued and paid cannot find a table by the time their drinks are made. AIBU to go and join them at their table and make awkward small talk whilst their buddy still queues so that my coffee doesn’t go cold as a solo shopper?

And I've tried to do that a few times, but found people moving my coat, or just sitting at the table anyway. They're rude, but they seem to think they're entitled to do that. One woman just laughed at my when I said I had put my stuff there and was sitting there.

So I don't do it any more. I don't enjoy dealing with bad-mannered people.

Feel free to use my "the seats taken we're waiting for our order and hes just gone to the toilet" line 👍

Well I'm just glad to hear that you wouldn't actually swear aggressively at someone just for asking. If all you do actually do is say "sorry, it's taken" (obviously), then that doesn't necessitate posturing about not giving a shit and not being a wet blanket. It's just...normal.

I'm happy to be a keyboard warrior who practices what I preach when necessary.

It's an interesting question, tbh. Nobody is sitting there. Why should someone who's not sitting there take priority over someone who's ready now because their coat is there?

Same here. It was only when I joined MN that I realised anyone even got annoyed about this. It has always seemed completely normal behaviour to me for one person to get a table while the other orders food. And it still does.

If I am on my own, I go somewhere with table service, get a takeaway or go somewhere with plenty of free tables.

That's exactly what I do. Swearing would be reserved for those who really push their luck. Like the creepy bloke who wanted to sit with me in a corner when there were actually plenty of other empty tables.

Well, you could ask that of groups or couples in cafes - why should the person in the queue have priority over someone who's looking for a table?

Singles are constantly told they're selfish for taking up a whole table - but if a couple has one half in the queue, they're equally selfish (but in a different way).

Do you always swear at people in cafes, you did say you would tell people to fuck off

Missing the point of the thread but the bigger issue for me is cafes who don't tell you if it's table or counter service. Is it really so difficult to have a sign up, or say so on the menus?

I don't go around making a habit of it, but they'd get a sharp response if they continued to push it. I'm not averse to standing my ground at all.

This is what I do when by myself. At some cafes there high side bar places - good for one or two but not more and it doesn't matter if others are there just need chair.

When it 's a group which can be up to 7 of us of course we look for a table first - larger the group less likely to find a table big enough - and if there's not one to get then we go elsewhere.

Well that's obviously a totally different situation.

That does t answer my question though. What do you do when you get your food and there isn’t a table to sit at? Wait until it’s cold? Eat standing up? I don’t understand it at all. It’s just bizarre to me. Everyone has gone to eat and sit. If there isn’t a spare table then the cafe is full. 🤷‍♀️

Yeah, all the groups of people (with hanging kids and elderly people) will just stand in the queue, not.

Of COURSE you're being unreasonable. Otherwise there will be fifty bazillion people in the queue, bumping into everyone while they wait.
Have you never been to a pub?

I am disabled and cannot stand for long so my husband always sends me to sit down while he orders, it would be hugely inconvenient not to mention painful if I had to stand in a queue and then stand for even longer til a table becomes free.

BTW I also eat in places like this by myself. I'm fine about that too. I queue up by myself and generally by the time I have my order, there's a spot.
Also I LOVE restaurants where you can book a single spot and sit up at the bar watching the chefs/bartenders.

But the cafe can only operate smoothly with people sitting down to eat. If you look in a cafe window and see a big queue and only one or two tables free, the two systems look like this:

1. Table first: There's a big queue but I know two tables are free, I can claim one and know that I'll have somewhere to sit and so does everyone else in the queue has got one too.
2. Food first: There's an unknown quantity of tables needed. Some of those people might be getting a second coffee for an existing table, six of them could be bunched together on that big table or there might be people getting take out. If I join the queue I might have to bumble around like a wet lettuce whilst my potato goes cold.

It is in fact much clearer and convenient for people to be able to see whether tables are being used than leave them in limbo.

If you like manners so much, surely you acknowledge that manners are designed to leave people comfortable and cared for?

A cafe I go to asks your table number when you order. If I'm there on my own I have to leave something on the table and hope that other people realise that it's occupied

People who have their food would be able to sit down if all the tables weren't full of people who didn't have any food yet....

Cafes tend to be cheaper than restaurants and they rely on high turnover to make money. You're not supposed to linger, you're supposed to eat and go, leaving your table free for the next people who have food ready.

I didn't know this was a thing until I came on MN. I don't think I've been to a cafe with anyone who doesn't do the sensible thing and sit one at the table, the other gets the order. Or, as others have said, leave some stuff at the table to indicate it's taken.
These people who would just barge in with their tray of drinks - do you seriously mean that if, as usual, I've escorted my 85 year old mum with her walker to a table, left her there with the shopping while I join the queue - you would barge over and stress her out by plonking your arse down at the spare seat. Really??

Why would anyone queue up and buy food and drink if they don’t have anywhere to sit?

You would have to be stupid to do that.

Well no, you'd be polite and ask if the seat is free if say there was 2 people on a 4 seat table and nowhere else to sit and hope they were reasonable people and not MN weirdos 'stressed out' at the thought of sharing a table with someone they don't know.

I assumed this was the norm? One gets a table, other queues.

Of course they wouldn't. At best they might ask if they could share the table if it's busy.