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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Resentment at 100k

797 replies

Arseholeneighbours · 28/11/2025 00:49

Theres a lot of vitriol spilt towards people being “high earners” at 100k and over. As net contributors, and most likely having made sacrifices, stresses and difficult life decisions, there’s many judgements about life choices , expectations and living within one’s means. What is the motivation to push forward in a career and to try and be as successful as one can if there’s no personal gain? It’s all well and good saying those with the broadest shoulders should take on the most - but to what end?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
PeonyPatch · 28/11/2025 13:39

SleeplessInWherever · 28/11/2025 12:58

I do think that there’s an element of choice. Nobody falls and lands in an expensive area to live, and goes “what am I doing here?!”

I live in Cheshire, and pay the relevant “Cheshire Tax.” It is more expensive to live here, the housing is more expensive, the council tax is, shopping may not cost more in Tesco but your local shop is more.

But similarly, living here isn’t an accident. Just like living in Surrey isn’t. We have chosen to live here, and chosen to not leave. Cheaper places are available.

Maybe that leaving would have to happen before you start a family and make roots etc, but if you live in a high cost area - it is optional.

I live in a deprived area of Kent - so yes, element of choice. Would much rather live in Surrey but it’s unaffordable and need to commute in to London so have to be on the commuter belt!

Hope work gives me a pay rise this year but bet you it gets swallowed up by all the bills going up. It’s disheartening.

EasternStandard · 28/11/2025 13:40

SleeplessInWherever · 28/11/2025 13:38

I just don’t see the point in having more and being angry about it, in honesty.

This idea that households with 100k are in any way disadvantaged is absolutely ludicrous, and I think they know it too.

Accept your privilege, pay the tax that needs paying on that to help other people not starve, and get on with it.

People can post what they like. Or opt out. Policies have an impact and you might find it damaging to keep hitting the same group and telling them to stop being selfish or whatever.

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:40

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:30

If you have a family, mortgage bills etc earning more money to pay for things is the main motivator. It think it’s incredibly naive of you to think that most people aren’t motivated by money.

You think I haven’t had a family, mortgage and bills? You don’t need 6 figures to pay those, and certainly don’t need to keep on earning more and more over £100k. Which is fortunate, considering only 4% of people earn over £100k

Arseholeneighbours · 28/11/2025 13:40

I’m not sure how this has turned into a begrudging any tax thread…it was about the perception of 100k and the tax changed applied

OP posts:
AlltheHedgehogsontheWall · 28/11/2025 13:40

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:30

If you have a family, mortgage bills etc earning more money to pay for things is the main motivator. It think it’s incredibly naive of you to think that most people aren’t motivated by money.

I am motivated by having some money. I just worked really hard to get a promotion. The work will be more interesting but I wouldn't have applied for it if it wasn't more money.

I really like money, it would be lovely to take all the money I'm paid home and not pay any tax.

However, I also really like the NHS, my daughter's state school, not having rubbish piled up outside and rats running about, being able to call the police if I'm a victim of crime or if I witness a crime, having lovely, clean, well maintained green spaces nearby, having safe roads to drive on, and all the other things that my taxes contribute too.

I really don't like knowing there's children who will be going to bed hungry, families worrying about paying for warm clothes, heating and electricity, SEN children who can't get the support they need in education.

I want a society where the most vulnerable are protected and we have well run public services a lot more than I want a few hundred more in my pay packet every week.

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:41

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:37

Most UC is paid to people in work. You can relax. And the bulk of the benefits bill is pensions.

What a silly thing to say. I have no problem with people’s wages being topped up if they working.l because if you are in a low wage you do need help to get by. But I do have an issue with is those who choose not to work full time but only part of the week because it affects their benefits.

BIossomtoes · 28/11/2025 13:42

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:41

What a silly thing to say. I have no problem with people’s wages being topped up if they working.l because if you are in a low wage you do need help to get by. But I do have an issue with is those who choose not to work full time but only part of the week because it affects their benefits.

Do you have the same issue with high earners who limit their hours so they get free childcare?

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:43

You heavily implied it. Those hours are insane, incidentally. I know, because I worked them as a teacher and boarding staff in an independent school. I didn’t even pay higher rate tax at the time. Like I said, hard work and earnings aren't inextricably linked.

NorthXNorthWest · 28/11/2025 13:43

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 12:54

Such as?

Labour have now decided you should be taxed on imaginary money, using a valuation set by the 'impartial' people who want to raise more cash. What could possibly go wrong...

A property is worth what the market will pay for it. Not what a morally bankrupt spreadsheet monkey in Whitehall needs it to be.

HPFA · 28/11/2025 13:44

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 28/11/2025 11:23

And a teachers pension is much better than most private sectors... I'm paying her pension too you know!

A teacher's pension is indeed good.

People do underrate that it it is very much affected by working fewer hours. As someone in another public sector scheme many colleagues are shocked when they check in later life to find that "better than private" doesn't actually mean riches!

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 28/11/2025 13:46

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:18

I agree. I think there is enormous privilege in not having to be motivated by money. Tends to be said by those who already have plenty, or are reliant upon a support network that not everyone has.

Actually, I kind of agree that it's a privilege not to be worried about money. That's sort of my point.

It's normal, natural and indeed healthy for people to be motivated by money to the extent that that they are able to earn enough to cover their own basic needs and the needs of the people they love.

What I find rather sad is that some people continue to be motivated primarily by money when they already earn way over and above what they actually need. In many ways, I think they are unnecessarily missing out on the privilege of being able to prioritise other things, and they are not making the most of the real benefit of being a higher earner, which is actually the freedom of not having to think about money that much. This is why I feel sorry for those who are motivated primarily by money.

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:47

TesChique · 28/11/2025 13:35

Youre right

Im sick of the taboo around not being able to say high paying jobs come with sacrifice that warrants the salary.

My job is 95k a year, private sector, the stress is immense, the hours are long, i have sometimes cried and thought why am i putting myself through this, on the flipside there are a lot of times i love it, but it is hard.

I do it to build a nice life fir me and my family and now im being penalised for it, and im sorry, but my sacrifices are greater than joe bloggs sitting on a till all day, clocking on, clocking off, leaving work at the door abd getting an 8.5% increase and now more money to be able to keep that stressless job and claim more child benefit.

They just are.

Nobody has said high earning jobs don't require sacrifice. Saying people not in those jobs may have also made sacrifices doesn’t negate any you have made.
If you think living on minimum wage isn’t stressful, though, try it.

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:48

AlltheHedgehogsontheWall · 28/11/2025 13:40

I am motivated by having some money. I just worked really hard to get a promotion. The work will be more interesting but I wouldn't have applied for it if it wasn't more money.

I really like money, it would be lovely to take all the money I'm paid home and not pay any tax.

However, I also really like the NHS, my daughter's state school, not having rubbish piled up outside and rats running about, being able to call the police if I'm a victim of crime or if I witness a crime, having lovely, clean, well maintained green spaces nearby, having safe roads to drive on, and all the other things that my taxes contribute too.

I really don't like knowing there's children who will be going to bed hungry, families worrying about paying for warm clothes, heating and electricity, SEN children who can't get the support they need in education.

I want a society where the most vulnerable are protected and we have well run public services a lot more than I want a few hundred more in my pay packet every week.

We all want those things and whilst you may in a position to lose money from your salary and not feel it (and that’s great if you can) but not everyone is in your position. II think it’s important to remember that when talking about other people and their finances.

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:51

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:41

What a silly thing to say. I have no problem with people’s wages being topped up if they working.l because if you are in a low wage you do need help to get by. But I do have an issue with is those who choose not to work full time but only part of the week because it affects their benefits.

People work8ng and needing top ups are probably in that position because of the greed of the business they work for. Get angry about that. UC top ups are a subsidy for businesses - that’s what I most object my tax money doing. I don’t begrudge the people who get it, I begrudge the necessity.
My point is, taxes aren't increasing because of the small numbers of people taking benefits and never intending to work when they could. It’s because of things like UC top ups to pay business and landlord profits. They are the greedy, grasping ones.

BIossomtoes · 28/11/2025 13:51

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 28/11/2025 13:46

Actually, I kind of agree that it's a privilege not to be worried about money. That's sort of my point.

It's normal, natural and indeed healthy for people to be motivated by money to the extent that that they are able to earn enough to cover their own basic needs and the needs of the people they love.

What I find rather sad is that some people continue to be motivated primarily by money when they already earn way over and above what they actually need. In many ways, I think they are unnecessarily missing out on the privilege of being able to prioritise other things, and they are not making the most of the real benefit of being a higher earner, which is actually the freedom of not having to think about money that much. This is why I feel sorry for those who are motivated primarily by money.

Exactly that. Thank you for articulating it so clearly.

Coletilla · 28/11/2025 13:53

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:51

People work8ng and needing top ups are probably in that position because of the greed of the business they work for. Get angry about that. UC top ups are a subsidy for businesses - that’s what I most object my tax money doing. I don’t begrudge the people who get it, I begrudge the necessity.
My point is, taxes aren't increasing because of the small numbers of people taking benefits and never intending to work when they could. It’s because of things like UC top ups to pay business and landlord profits. They are the greedy, grasping ones.

@cardibach I am sure we would get along great in real life! Totally agree. It’s amazing how little you hear anyone mention it though.

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:53

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 28/11/2025 13:46

Actually, I kind of agree that it's a privilege not to be worried about money. That's sort of my point.

It's normal, natural and indeed healthy for people to be motivated by money to the extent that that they are able to earn enough to cover their own basic needs and the needs of the people they love.

What I find rather sad is that some people continue to be motivated primarily by money when they already earn way over and above what they actually need. In many ways, I think they are unnecessarily missing out on the privilege of being able to prioritise other things, and they are not making the most of the real benefit of being a higher earner, which is actually the freedom of not having to think about money that much. This is why I feel sorry for those who are motivated primarily by money.

I just don't agree that many people exist who are motivated solely by money (aside frkm the Elon Musk types). It's largely a fallacy invented by those who like to believe that their own money and privilege is somehow different becuawe they think they didn't want it as much.

BIossomtoes · 28/11/2025 13:56

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:53

I just don't agree that many people exist who are motivated solely by money (aside frkm the Elon Musk types). It's largely a fallacy invented by those who like to believe that their own money and privilege is somehow different becuawe they think they didn't want it as much.

That’s a very fast change of mind. 😂

EasternStandard · 28/11/2025 13:57

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:53

I just don't agree that many people exist who are motivated solely by money (aside frkm the Elon Musk types). It's largely a fallacy invented by those who like to believe that their own money and privilege is somehow different becuawe they think they didn't want it as much.

Yep it’s some kind of displaced superiority. It’s not based on anything.

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:59

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:51

People work8ng and needing top ups are probably in that position because of the greed of the business they work for. Get angry about that. UC top ups are a subsidy for businesses - that’s what I most object my tax money doing. I don’t begrudge the people who get it, I begrudge the necessity.
My point is, taxes aren't increasing because of the small numbers of people taking benefits and never intending to work when they could. It’s because of things like UC top ups to pay business and landlord profits. They are the greedy, grasping ones.

I’m not getting angry at anything but I can see there are a lot of people getting very angry towards the higher taxpayer. Also an extra 26 billion into the welfare system is not a drop in the ocean. There needs to be a root and branch investigation as to where taxpayers money is going to with a view to eliminating waste.

Coletilla · 28/11/2025 14:01

TesChique · 28/11/2025 13:35

Youre right

Im sick of the taboo around not being able to say high paying jobs come with sacrifice that warrants the salary.

My job is 95k a year, private sector, the stress is immense, the hours are long, i have sometimes cried and thought why am i putting myself through this, on the flipside there are a lot of times i love it, but it is hard.

I do it to build a nice life fir me and my family and now im being penalised for it, and im sorry, but my sacrifices are greater than joe bloggs sitting on a till all day, clocking on, clocking off, leaving work at the door abd getting an 8.5% increase and now more money to be able to keep that stressless job and claim more child benefit.

They just are.

I think you’re wrong about sacrifice. You have no idea what that person on the till (you clearly look down on) may have sacrificed in their life. Your “sacrifices” are your choices, presumably you could have chosen not to sacrifice the things you say you have? That you needed to make to pursue the career you chose. No one forced you to take the path you did did they? You find your job hard but fulfilling, and well paid - isn’t that good? Another person’s choices might be sacrifices. That person you speak of on the till is as essential as you are in each person’s respective industry sector.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 28/11/2025 14:01

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:53

I just don't agree that many people exist who are motivated solely by money (aside frkm the Elon Musk types). It's largely a fallacy invented by those who like to believe that their own money and privilege is somehow different becuawe they think they didn't want it as much.

Great, so you'll agree with me that taxes on higher earners won't actually result in a situation where people are no longer motivated to strive and succeed in the way that the OP claimed.

That was my whole point, really - I don't think most people are only motivated by money.

However, some people on this thread have suggested that money is the only thing that motivates them, so I'm prepared to entertain the idea that they are telling the truth about this, and not just making disingenuous statements because they don't like paying tax. And if they are indeed telling the truth when they say that they are only motivated by money, then I feel heartily sorry for them as they are missing out on so much.

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 14:01

EasternStandard · 28/11/2025 13:57

Yep it’s some kind of displaced superiority. It’s not based on anything.

I've picked up enough about some of these posters over the years to know very well that they are talking out of their arses. Faux humility. Grabby for thee...

cardibach · 28/11/2025 14:03

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:59

I’m not getting angry at anything but I can see there are a lot of people getting very angry towards the higher taxpayer. Also an extra 26 billion into the welfare system is not a drop in the ocean. There needs to be a root and branch investigation as to where taxpayers money is going to with a view to eliminating waste.

Nobody is getting angry at the higher tax payer. Why would they? What’s happening is one or two higher tax payers are coming here moaning about being ‘punished’ and having to pay taxes for people they use appalling language to describe (not the OP, and mostly not in this thread, but across MN) and saying they are skint while working really hard when so many people are working really hard and earning (and living) on way less.
I not sure why people on 6 figures feel the need to see themselves as victims in this way.

Frequency · 28/11/2025 14:03

I'm not resentful of higher earners, but I don't understand how they cannot see how privileged and comfortable they are and how many choices their position opens up to them.

I don't understand the notion that earning more money leaves you with less, either. Maths is not my strong point, but last time I checked, 60% of £150k is more than 60% of £140k.

I have the life you seem to aspire to, earning £30k p/a. I don't get UC, but if my children were younger, maybe I would? And I have LA property.

I'll gladly swap. My job is decent, I enjoy my job, and there are a lot of training opportunities and room for growth.

My house, otoh, the thing that seems to cause the most envy...

It is not free. It is not even nearly free; it is only a few £ a month cheaper than a similar private letting would be, as I don't live in the SE, so our private rents, while still expensive, are more reasonable. On top of the rent, there is the expense of actually living here.

It is freezing. The heating is either on full blast and burning through money, or it is off. The thermostat, which has been replaced twice, just does not work. To get one that does work, I would need a new boiler, which I am not allowed to replace myself, even if I wanted to, and the LA won't replace it because they say the thermostat works as intended.

Ditto the radiators, they are tiny and inefficient, but even if I wanted to replace them myself, I am not allowed.

We have to be careful when we shower because the wetroom is pissing water into the kitchen. The kitchen light is broken, and the ceiling needs replacing, but it cannot be done until the bathroom is fixed. The bathroom repairs need approval from a manager. I've been waiting a month now for approval. This is something I would gladly pay for myself if I were allowed, but I'm not.

There is black mould all over DD's room, and they cannot seem to figure out who needs to fix it, so they just keep sending different specialists around to look at it. In the meantime, her room is colder than the rest of the freezing cold house because she has no wallpaper, and we cannot put wallpaper on until the mould is fixed.

The wallpaper in the hall needs replacing, but we daren't do it because that is all that is holding the plaster on the wall, and we know that once we remove the wallpaper and the wall will fall down, and it will take months to be repaired. Again, structural, so even if we wanted to repair it ourselves, we couldn't.

But yeah, my life is a piece of piss compared to someone who owns their home...