Resentment at 100k

[Arseholeneighbours]

Theres a lot of vitriol spilt towards people being “high earners” at 100k and over. As net contributors, and most likely having made sacrifices, stresses and difficult life decisions, there’s many judgements about life choices , expectations and living within one’s means. What is the motivation to push forward in a career and to try and be as successful as one can if there’s no personal gain? It’s all well and good saying those with the broadest shoulders should take on the most - but to what end?

I'm a higher earner - not quite 100k high, but I would consider my salary higher end - and I don't whine about paying tax. The sacrifices I've made to have a well paid senior management role are no better or more praiseworthy than the sacrifices low earners make to put food on the table and provide for their families.

I agree with you. Also, this government has someone earning £50k a year down as a high earner. This is only a couple of grand a year more take home pay than someone on the full benefits cap (and can be less if the person is working a few hours too).

The government should be encouraging everyone to work. Nobody should ever need to claim benefits while working & they certainly should never be better off not working.

I’m not whining about paying tax, I’m questioning the incentives to achieve. Falling into a tax bracket where you lose any child care support and personal allowance off a cliff. A surrounding cloud of resentment that of course you don’t need any support, whilst effectively taking a 20k pay cut

I completely agree, OP. We should be looking at people with wealth, not those on moderately high salaries (which I do believe £100,000 is).

Median salary in uk in October 2025 is £30456 office of national statistics

Ok? And your point is?

We, my family, are quite driven and it was our aim to succeed. So not luck! We wanted the choices that financial security allows. We pay a lot of tax, we support charities also.

OP, you ask “to what end?” - just that, we have a lot of choices and freedoms in life that we wouldn’t have otherwise.

It is not just about the money though! We have worked hard and we do contribute but we do have to look in the mirror everyday and like and know the person that looks back at you. More so in this current climate.

As PPs have said there is a difference between earning £100k and being rich. And there is a difference between earning £33k and £100k. And there we have the MN problem!

I just don't think I've ever thought that way. I've been lucky to have a career I've enjoyed, that has been fulfilling and in an area I wanted to work in. I'm not bored at work. Working in my field is meaningful for me, and that was my motivation, not tax brackets. I'm fortunate both to have had a good education and to be intelligent enough to have risen to this level. It seems ridiculous and rather silly to me to resent someone who has a job I would hate to have, like working in a callcentre or retail, simply because they get more off the state than I do.

@Arseholeneighbours isn’t whining. They are making a valid point. The contempt aimed at anyone who has made sacrifices to get where they are is disgusting. I don’t think people on higher incomes are claiming they are better than those on lower incomes who have also made sacrifices. They are making the point that their success was earned not handed to them on a plate.

It is entirely possible for one person to make sacrifices and earn £100k, and for another to make sacrifices and earn £20k. Effort and outcome are not the same thing. Effort deserves basic respect at every level.

thanks for your feedback, I take it onboard and I do agree with what you say and appreciate your way of looking at it. I too, have had an enjoyable career and as I mentioned before I don’t resent paying tax. I just find it jarring reading comments about how obviously how dare you think you need support, how dare you mention your tax burden etc etc.
how are we in a system where is would make more financial sense for me to go part time than strive to achieve in my career?

I guess this is the crux of it though - the choices that financial
security allow. Is a person on 100k with a large mortgage and commitments more secure than one on 33k in a secure tenancy and universal credit coming in.

There is personal gain though, just I think not the feeling of wealth that must of us instinctively feel we ought to have from a six figure salary. Although sometimes I do think we don't recognise some things as signs of relative wealth that actually are, like mostly being able to replace small things that break, or not having to rule out all but the absolute cheapest versions of things.

Also, expensive mortgages don't feel like a luxury, and often people have no choice about where they buy, but at the end of the day any mortgage leaves you with an expensive asset at the end. So it's understandable I think that "look how little of what I started with I've got after paying for my house" doesn't get as much sympathy as people might like. It's because it's not like people have really lost that money (as with renting), they're just converting it into another form of asset that's still in their name. Even things like school fees that feel like difficult obligations can also be viewed as investments that give something in return.

I do understand feeling pissed off at people who imply wealthier people never have any right to complain about their day to day life though. I think everyone has a right to complain if they want to. I think you're on shakier ground highlighting your status as a net contributor though, while salaries for lots of really important jobs are so low. People doing those jobs are also valuable to society, it's not just about the tax paid on their salaries.

I take your point about mentioning a net contributior. I suppose my thinking behind that is paying into the system and yet feeling there’s not much of a break! To be able to persue my career I have to organise a lot of childcare and outsource a lot of work. I value all these people that I depend on highly. I guess one of the differences is the risk that’s taken on at higher roles. There seems to be less of a safety net

I think a lot of it depends on what you chose to read @Arseholeneighbours I have seen a LOT more threads over the last 24hrs on MN at people angry at other people who claim UC, have multiple children, who they believe will benefit from the lifting of the 2 child cap than I have of people angry at people for earning >100,000 but perhaps I’m missing the ones you’re talking about.

I completely understand your point about disincentivising career progression. I am now 4 days a week at work and if I went back full time, I could go for a promotion that would see my earnings increase over 100,000 but I have a dc in nursery and would like another one soon so even if I got a £20,000 pay rise working full time, the effective tax, plus loss from the free hours childcare and tax free account wouldn’t be worth the pay increase. However if I didn’t lose this I probably would think about working more or , woudlnt have to think about spacing kids out as much for financial reasons so could go back full time sooner - which would be better for the country overall as I would be working more and paying more tax. It’s very short sighted.

The other way I see it, we’re lucky to have some choices. At least if you do earn >100,000 you can pay more into pension or reduce hours if childcare is needed - once kids are out of the nursery you have the option to increase your salary again and will (I hope) feel “rich” with the crippling nursery fees gone 🤣

I do think the cliff edge at 100,000 and the fact you then lose your personal tax free allowance means many many people will like me not be incentivised to earn more. And Ofc to add insult to injury the fact that two people on 99,000 can get childcare but one on 100,000 and another not working don’t qualify is insane but unfortunately thems the rules. Childcare years are tough but temporary.

I do completely understand your frustration however I think that a lot of recent frustration has come from looking at what someone else is entitled to and being annoyed that we don’t have the same. Isn’t that just life - there will always be some people better off and others worse off? I really don’t think this is a good budget and quite worried it’s playing into the hands of Reform - however a line has to be drawn somewhere as to who qualifies and there will be “winners” and “losers”

You’re probably right @Theboymolefoxandhorse , I might have been down a rat hole of poorly scrutinised journalism recently. I’m currently on maternity leave and have been reviewing the childcare costs for when I return to work which is what has got me down I think. I’m looking at 4K a month in childcare when I go back to work, and feeling a bit (probably unduly) resentful at the school gates watching mothers talking about their plans to kick their feet up and have a hot chocolate when they get home for the 15 free hours.
I fully appreciate long term this isn’t an issue.

I have a degree and 8 years of postgraduate education, am paid less than £40k after 27 years of full-time professional employment, and now I discover I’m feckless. Thanks for your contribution to the debate.

If it makes more financial sense, by all means go part time!

Financial sense short term yes but career suicide long term in this patriarchal system

I worked in USA for a year back in the 90s. One of the first things that struck me was the general attitude towards those who pull themselves up from a poor background by their own efforts. They are greatlly admired over there. In this country they are deeply resented as getting above themselves. There is an old saying that a prophet is withour honour in his own land. Meaning that a persons accomplishments may not be appreciated by those closest to them but more likely by strangers who have a fresh perspective.

@Arseholeneighbours if reducing your hours is a possibility and would bring you below the threshold I would reccomend that - you then get to spend at least a day a week with your dc. Another option is overpaying into pension - not sure exactly how that works but I know a few people who do it and it means they then qualify for help as it brings down net-adjusted salary (I think)

It is really hard trying to stay in the moment, grateful and happy all the time when things feel really hard for everyone. At the risk of coming across toxically positive - the grass is greener where you water it. Enjoy Mat leave and this precious time with your dc. “the mums at the school gates” who may not have to go back to work are most likely renting, which can be precarious and once their kids are of age won’t be getting the UC top ups and may then have to move- whereas you will have paid off a good chunk of a mortgage and have some security for you and your children whilst progressing a career you enjoy.
Unless you’re ultra wealthy it’s hard to get through to being successful without some sacrifice and hard times - and financially I think childcare is one of the most brutal - especially if like me you recently brought a house /too so temporarily higher repayments etc. a lot of my friends bought before covid when house prices went sky high and I kick myself for not doing the same but like I say, you win some and you lose some. All the best with return to work

@Theboymolefoxandhorse i really appreciate your toxic positivity! Thank you for kindly pointing me in looking at things from another direction. Reducing my hours is not realistic in my industry and I guess I’m just having a bit of a wobble over career vs family life. And yes, we have just recently bought a house so I guess the stress of all that is on me too!

It probably doesn't matter what salary someone has, there will always be someone who gets two thirds of that, say, who can see only the immense feeling of relief from money worries that that salary would give them, and so finds it impossible to imagine someone having that and still feeling stressed. And they're not exactly wrong to think that it would make their life a lot easier, because it would. They're only wrong if they think it must always make for no worry at all, when obviously people can be worried and stressed with any salary, especially if they're temporarily a bit over committed due to things like childcare.

OP and @Theboymolefoxandhorse I wish these hard cliff edges would go. Wouldn’t benefit me as a basic rate taxpayer, but can see the impact and unfairness. The single or combined salary child benefit limit - plainly wrong too. Yes, it is mad that those earning 3 times more than most reduce their hours to keep within a tax band, or offload into their pensions which to be fair are already probably pretty healthy.

I think reintroducing the 10% band, giving everyone a personal allowance, smoothing cliff edges with additional tax bands as needed, and allowing everyone the childcare benefit, is fairer and could - could it? - make sure that the highest earners feel they too benefit from the system, not dump more and more into pensions but spend a bit more thus helping the economy. In tandem, merge tax & NI and tax all income the same - dividends, CGT, the lot. Until income of any type to an individual is looked at that way, there is inequality of taxation between the workers and passive income recipients. Who knows how this would end up from an economic model, but I’ve heard lots of people suggest huge simplification of tax and certainly merging tax and NI.

I too have seen much more vitriol towards the lifting of the 2 child cap than other things. Comments like “I’m paying more and more tax to pay for those with loads of kids”.

I am also struggling with narrative about paying more tax when income tax, VAT, and NI have not changed. I understand the fiscal drag and inflation.

@Coletilla thanks for your comment, you have made some valid points. Yes I perceive I’m not getting anything back from the system and struggle with the concept of sacrificing my career to stay within the tax brackets versus working for very little financial gain and losing precious time with my children. Albeit for the short time they’re in childcare but also not those precious few years that they’re young?