AIBU not to want to cook Xmas dinner for 12 people

[Pollypickme]

I invited my in-laws for Xmas dinner and they said yes but almost immediately said that my BIL, wife and child would probably spend Xmas at theirs so would it be ok to invite them. I hesitantly said yes as they are vegan. They’re nice enough but I have zero in common with them and they tend to overstay for hours when invited over.
this week my MIL has asked if my husbands sister, partner and child can also come? She’s not particularly nice to me and not someone I would ever spend time with if I wasn’t related via marriage. I haven’t said yes but I kind of feel obligated. Please help! AIBU not to want to

Suggest that they come over after lunch for a couple of hours evening/ afternoon tops.

That would be a no from me.
Can you suggest going to a restaurant instead, appreciate they are ridiculously expensive, but can cover all dietary needs and you can leave when you are done, with no lingering guests
Where do the in-laws usually spend Xmas

That would be a no from me.
Can you suggest going to a restaurant instead, appreciate they are ridiculously expensive, but can cover all dietary needs and you can leave when you are done, with no lingering guests
Where do the in-laws usually spend Xmas

I'd just say, actually how about you guys just do your meal and pop round for drinks and nibbles later on

Just say you haven't the space for that many at the table. Suggest they come round for drinks and a snack later on in the evening, or you go out to eat?

I can't blame you for not wanting lots of people and it's out of order she just invited all of them pretty much to your house.

Tell your husband to tell her if you don't want to. It's his mum so should be him stopping her inconveniencing you.

No. Suggest you all go to a restaurant, although you may have left it rather late!

Be honest and say it's a bit overwhelming to have that many to cook for and you'd only really imagined it being them 2.

Backtrack as fast as you can, and never ask again!

I would say that cooking 2 different meals for 12 is beyond your capacity and would it work for them all to come over for drinks and mince pies in the evening or afternoon instead.

Don’t just keep saying yes.

Turning an invite for 2 into an invite for 8 is serious cheeky fucker territory. If she has had the front to ask, you are allowed to have the front to say ‘too much’.

Can you use kackmjf space, turkey already ordered (so won’t have enough) etc as an excuse, or as CV others have said, invite them further Boxing Day.

very cheeky of mil to invite then to your house.

If MiL wants to see them all then she can host them for dinner instead. You could invite them for drinks, nibbles & mince pies later if you really want.

Jeez who are all these randoms who want to scrounge dinner at someone else’s house on Christmas Day? Just say no, enough’s enough. Why are you dealing with the angst of this? Why isn’t your DH managing his family?

"Sorry, I haven't got the space for that many people. If you want to host them at yours that's fine and then we could just get together for drinks/nibbles in the evening?"

Id say there's unfortunately not enought space. I generally don't host people who are rude to me and definitely wouldn't want to do it on a holiday

United front with husband. He needs.ti tell her you both can't host for that many and maybe they should host Christmas and you'll see them over it if they want to see everyone.

Do you have enough room for all those people, and enough crockery, cutlery and oven space?
Are you also expected to pay for all of this and do all the cooking, clearing up etc while they all sit around or would they muck in?
You'll have to tell MIL it's a no, fine for her and FIL but not for all these extras. If you did say yes, she'd probably find more relatives to invite.

Ask her what she's bringing over to contribute? In fact, ask them all to contribute (or to come after lunch!).

No, you invited 2 people, and now it’s 10? That doesn’t work. It’s not too late to say. No.

Just say no, I would have said no straight away to the vegans as well, because I don't want the extra stress it would bring me. Nothing against vegans, I just wouldn't cope and I don't like anyone in my kitchen space either. No apology required, just say no because you don't really want to.

Agree with PPs above, rescind the offer, say it has grown beyond initial plans, now too overwhelming so let them all host each other instead. Agree with offering mince pies/drinks at some point as a gesture. Absolutely too much and the extra guests is great timing for cancelling ASAP.

NO.

say kindly that sounds too much for my cooking and hosting skills sorry, but I understand if you want to cancel coming to ours if you’d rather be hosting the crowd.

You're not obligated to make Christmas dinner for people who get invited by others or invite themselves, your DH can tell his family it's just going to be you two now, you didn't realise by asking 2 people there would be a domino effect and so many more would want to come, he can explain it politely, you don't want this worry or expectation every year. Why would they just assume, cf

Say no, your Mil has changed the dynamics of the day your invite was to them, I would tell her “it’s a shame we can’t cater for that many this year, if you need to bale due to commitments with others we don’t mind, there’s always next year, have a wonderful day, do you want to pop over Boxing Day for a Chill out with bubble & squeak and a glass of fizz” x

Do they all usually spend Christmas together? If so, you shouldn’t have lobbed your invitation into their traditions unless you were prepared to host them all.

Crikeys, you’ve been kind enough to invite MIL for Christmas and now she wants to invite additional people, why doesn’t she host instead? My MIL wouldn’t dream of inviting people if she wasn’t the host