Are you regularly followed by security guards in shops for no reason?

[Pavementworrier]

If so you are my people

I'm a middle aged lawyer with kids I don't dress weird and I'm old enough to have the confidence to be sure there is nothing particular thievy about me but there is something in my manner or essence that gets the shiny tabard men twitching.

(Latest shout out to you, Boots in the st James Quarter Edinburgh)

It has been like this since I was a teen, when I figured it was because they assume teens are all lifting lipstick but then it never stopped.

So now I figure they probably think they can look busy by following me without any risk whatsoever while the men with holdalls continue to fill their boots (sometimes literally).

If you’re conscious of often being followed, it can make you self-conscious and hence shifty-looking, I think.

Got followed a heck of a lot when I was a personal assistant accompanying our service users.

needless to say it does not happen when with my husband

Oh I'm not shifty at all - in youth I was pretty devastated about it because why were all these separate guys making the same call but now if I turn around to see them lurking I just give them a big old smile

Used to happen all the time when my children were younger. I assumed it was lots of small children and a big pushchair was a flag?? Less so now.

I work in retail and people we would watch... large empty carrier bags, lots of bags with not much in, anything that looks like its obscuring their face, wearing nitrile gloves (genuinely!) and most of all shoplifters give off a vibe. Most of my colleagues can spot one just by looking at them.

As I say there's nothing remotely red flag about me. I do think some people have a "who does that plain woman think she is just walking around with no worries" nasty impulse so there will be that plus the aforementioned no likelihood of argy bargy from me.

If I hired those guys I'd want my money back, though, do they never wonder why their amazing intuition is only met with increased shoplifting stats?

My female friend who has lots of piercings, tattoos and pink hair gets followed sometimes and she’s one of the kindest, most generous and genuine person I know

I haven't noticed it happening to me but I was in Superdrug recently and a customer was complaining to a member of staff that the security man was following her around the shop!

Yeah it is often a going after gentle looking people I think. Gentle and having the temerity not to fit in is the twofer

only when I’ve been with black friends.

also have the pleasure of only being pulled over by security when going away with black friends

Yes, but I look really dodgy.

I am a complete scruff bag and I am losing my vision, so a trip round Tesco for a few bits is a nightmare. I’m up and down the wrong isles, muttering to myself, picking up and putting down the wrong things.

I’d follow me too, so I don’t blame them. I have sold to them before when I’ve noticed, “look, I’m not nicking anything, I’m just getting used to going blind, if you’d just help me, this would be less painful for both of us” To be fair, they have helped me right away.

Dh does the shopping, but I occasionally go in for small things.

I complained once (in Boots but another branch) and tbf they did say sorry but I guess did not say hey young men in this country it is creepy to follow women two paces behind while they're buying tampons

🤣 to be fair when I'm in my gym stuff it bothers me less because fair dos

Yes, I’m a wheelchair user so I think they think I must be poor and on benefits, plus I have places to stash stuff if I wanted to steal.

The thing that extra annoys me is they can see everything we bloody do on CCTV anyway so it's humiliation for no reason

But you’re looking to see if they’re watching or following you. That’s what makes you look shifty to security guards, regardless of whether you then smile. Most people walking around Boots or a supermarket aren’t keeping an eye on the security guard— the ones who are doing so are probably more likely to be shoplifting.

(I had an informative conversation with a garden centre worker recently. He said shoplifting was rife!)

Yep, me always, and a lot of my extended family too. Sometimes the security guards make it extremely obvious, not like they're simply checking that you're not stealing anything, but more like they want to make you feel intimidated.

I'm a woman in my early 40s who works in an office. I dress boringly. I don't know what they're seeing.

No, haven't experienced that. I'd be tempted to ask security if they can shed any light on it🤷‍♀️

Yes I would do this. They’re only normal people paid min wage to protect the stock of some shop, why not ask them?

I usually don't but your post just bought back a brilliant memory of mine.
I had to have a front tooth extracted, and it was quite brutal. My face swelled something rotten, I had bloody dribble down my front and my hair was a mess from sitting in the dentists chair for so long.
Once it was over, and still numb, I realised I'm in town and should probably go get some new knickers from primark. I obviously wasn't thinking straight.
Anyway, I must have looked like a vagrant, missing tooth and all, and the security guard instantly decided I couldn't be trusted.
So what followed was a game of 'follow me around the store whilst I pick up random things and put them down and play with my pockets'.
It kept me entertained for a good 20 minutes.

No. Or if I am, I’m not aware of it. If I was, it wouldn’t bother me.

Because while the OP is distracting the security guard with conversation, her accomplice is cramming a lot of lipsticks into her thigh-high boots? 😀

I have been told that I have an incredibly honest face - whatever that means. Customs types never check my luggage even when I am carrying banned books or exotic cooking ingredients. In malls, I walk in, buy something and walk out as soon as possible because I hate them. I only dawdle in specialty foods shops, art and hardware stores. Never had any issue with security.

I felt a bit sad when it stopped happening to me, and when I wasn't "randomly" stopped and searched at airports anymore. Just another boring middle aged woman.