Are you regularly followed by security guards in shops for no reason?

[Pavementworrier]

If so you are my people

I'm a middle aged lawyer with kids I don't dress weird and I'm old enough to have the confidence to be sure there is nothing particular thievy about me but there is something in my manner or essence that gets the shiny tabard men twitching.

(Latest shout out to you, Boots in the st James Quarter Edinburgh)

It has been like this since I was a teen, when I figured it was because they assume teens are all lifting lipstick but then it never stopped.

So now I figure they probably think they can look busy by following me without any risk whatsoever while the men with holdalls continue to fill their boots (sometimes literally).

@Pavementworrier I'm a middle aged lawyer with kids I don't dress weird and I'm old enough to have the confidence to be sure there is nothing particular thievy about me ...

Yeah, well, frankly that's exactly what an international high-end jewel thief would do and say.

Bang to rights, me ol' china. You'll need to get on the blower to your brief.

This is me! I look incredibly innocent. Even as a kid and teenager, people would find it hard to believe I'd done anything dodgy (even when I had).

Now I'm middle-aged and look even more harmless. I'm the person who complete strangers ask to keep an eye on their bag or their baby while they pop to the loo at a café etc. Never followed by security or anything like that. In fact they will often let me into places even if I don't really have the right ticket or whatever, as long as I look a bit flustered or confused.

Sometimes I think I should really try taking to a life of crime to get the most out of this.

Racism is rife which is truly shocking

I do sometimes. More often than not, it is when I am highly anxious, and I don't want to be out or around people anyway, so it makes matters worse!

However, I do not venture to anywhere more exciting than the supermarkets on a regular basis... and I usually end up talking to them, e.g. "What crisps do you think I should buy? I am torn between this flavour and that..." and after that discussion, clearly, I am not suspicious anymore!

If I am dressed oh-so-smartly (i.e. young woman in a conspicuous dress/skirt and unusually smart coat), then people tend to stay far, far away, as I cannot possibly be a suspected thief while dressed like THAT 😁

Not in shops generally but every single time I went into Claire’s!! Regardless of whether or not I had my kids with me, not always same Claire’s/ different location.

I stopped going in there to buy presents or if my kids had some birthday money to spend because it was so awful being followed and stared at by them!!

Was it me? Was it them? I’d honestly love to know. Never had it anywhere else. Weird

I’ve never been followed. Not that I’ve noticed anyway!

I'm always surprised how much I am not followed, actually, when I read things like this, because most of the time if I'm in Tesco or wherever, I am in a massive coat with about 10 bags, 3 kids and a pushchair. Also, I don't shop with any kind of efficiency and double back on myself and go up and down the same aisles several times. I've even gone through the checkouts, realised I've forgotten something and looped straight back round through the entrance gates and back in without even leaving the store. I always think I must look really suspicious, but I'm never stopped or followed or anything.

There is a reason you’re being followed, the reason is they think you’re a shoplifter other wise they wouldn’t follow you.
I was followed in Tesco once I think, I saw a sales assistant skulking around looking at me when I was in the clothes section although she also could have been tidying the rails.
I did used to get followed when I was younger and had my very young children with me at 25/26 I looked like a teenager and dressed in tracksuits and no make up (because I was a harassed mum of 2 young children) and I definitely got followed in dunelm mill

Yes, I have idly wondered if I should smuggle something more lucrative than the piffling stuff I do but I do tend to honesty. The other thing about my face is that random strangers tend to tell me stuff or ask me advice. They pull out legal documents and ask me what they mean- and lately, a woman whom I met by chance asked me to edit her letters to a civil dispute bureau. I foolishly agreed. She has an ongoing feud with a neighbour and brought 5 folders of police complaints, copious correspondence with her MP and much cctv footage. My niece calls me the wierdo magnet.

Because they say so. In Singapore where I grew up, dark skinned Indians and Malays complain quite often about discriminatory behaviour towards them by chinese retail staff. They cannot all be lying.

What humiliation?

Frankly, i wouldn't even notice. I have my headphones, my music on, I don't pay attention to anything unless they shriek and are too noisy, which security guards are not 😂

If they want to follow me, so what?

If it makes the poster feel humiliated and you don’t feel humiliated by the same thing that’s fine. It doesn’t make her wrong though

I was referring to the red flags re potential shoplifters.
So important to be non prejudiced and be aware of unconscious bias and negative sterotyping
The number of posts that portray prejudice and experience of is concerning

Not often but I did deliberately walk around a table 3 times when a over-zealous young man was following me around the JL electronics department. I needed a really good look at the portable speakers, you see 😉

When I had a big pram, I was sometimes followed, even if I looked smart.

It’s never happened to me. Or if it has, I’ve been oblivious.

Yep! I am unable to wear any make up whatsoever due to a health condition and I am naturally white blonde (with equally white eyelashes). As a result, I look rough as nails and washed out (People with dark hair have dark eyelashes and look farrr better without makeup up due to dark eyelashes and ever so slightly darker skin). This has meant that even whilst wearing a suit, perfectly styled hair and once even having my smartly dressed elderly mother with me, I get followed by security guards evvvvvvverywhere and yes, especially in Boots (& Superdrug). I’m bloody sick of it, I’m 41 and have no intention of stealing anything! Sometimes I’m on the phone if I’m alone and I cannot think straight if I’m being followed.

You mean you think you can spot one just by looking at them

Oh, come on.....

A red flag with shoplifters is that when it’s 32c, everyone else are wearing summer clothes. SLs still wear black or grey tracksuits as can’t hide much loot with wearing shorts n t-:shirt

The fact you're noticing them enough to turn and smile is probably why. Most people won't register a security guard walking around, or if they do may look down the aisle trying to see who the guard is looking at.
You assuming that they are watching you, will be noticed and appear suspicious.

There are many studies that show this to be the case. It's the same with stop-and-search.

I've got piercings, tattoos and bright hair and I've never been followed at all.

they're doing their job, not doing anything "humiliating" though

Same as cashier asking you to open and show the content of your bag
or even airport security doing a more thorough search.

Be humiliated if you want, but it doesn't mean they're doing any wrong, unreasonable or unacceptable. It's their job.

Never.